


Kryptonian Mating

by sabershadowkat



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, M/M, Mpreg, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-23
Updated: 2005-05-23
Packaged: 2017-11-01 05:48:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 43,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/352700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabershadowkat/pseuds/sabershadowkat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Lex Luthor learned to stop freaking and love his breasts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kryptonian Mating

**Author's Note:**

> For the Kink  & Clich Extravaganza Challenge <http://www.livejournal.com/users/svmadelyn/233449.html>

## Kryptonian Mating

by Henry Jones Jr

<http://www.sabershadowkat.com>

* * *

Prompt: "I'm confused. We don't have non-reproductive sex on my planet." Takes place early season 2.  
For italicized version, go to: <http://www.sabershadowkat.com/smallville/kryptonianmating.html>

* * *

"Leave us." 

Heavy footsteps sounded on the imported marble tile and the door snicked shut. The setting sun cast golden rays through the tinted wall of glass into the spacious, tastily decorated office. The city spread beyond the windows as far as the eye could see, waiting for a firm hand to take control. 

"You'll never get away with this." 

A dark chuckle rolled through the room, filling the corners with its deviousness. Sean Devlin, more infamously known as Devilicus, turned from the view. A cruel smile curved his lips. "I already have, my old friend. The Protectors have disbanded. The Guardian Realm is fighting an intragovernmental war. The Fifteenth Dimension is mine for the taking." 

"Not as long as I still stand." 

"Really? Then, I guess I've already won." Devilicus walked over and circled around his kneeling nemesis. "You're not standing, are you?" 

Warrior Angel glared at Devilicus and tugged at the twist tie pinning his hands behind his back. Devilicus had removed the tacky wings from Warrior Angel's uniform, which had also seen better days. Rips and burn marks slashed the purple unitard from their latest battle, exposing Warrior Angel's bare skin and one pale pink nipple. 

Devilicus laughed evilly, bent at the waist, and whispered in Warrior Angel's ear. "In 1832, Guardian Senator William Learner Marcy said 'to the victors belong the spoils.' Guess what you are?" 

Warrior Angel jerked his head away. "I'll never submit to you." 

"Not even for old time's sake?" Devilicus straightened and stroked Warrior Angel's jaw. "I seem to recall you begging to be my bitch in the past, Callum King." 

"We all make mistakes," Warrior Angel said scornfully. "I was stupid to hook up with the likes of you." 

Devilicus clenched his teeth and narrowed his eyes. "Stupidity seems to be your calling card. And now you're mine to do with what I see fit." 

Warrior Angel sneered. "Do your worst." 

"I shall," Devilicus pried open Warrior Angel's jaw, "and I shall enjoy every second of it." 

Warrior Angel's eyes grew large when he realized what Devilicus meant to do and he struggled at his bonds. Devilicus chortled maliciously, removed his red unitard, wrapped his hand around his cock, and- 

"Lex! Stop playing with your toys and come to the office." 

-broke it right off. 

Lex Luthor glowered at the intercom on the wall. His father always seemed to know when he was occupied with strategic planning using scale models. It was the third time in as many days his anatomically correct Devilicus's penis had been snapped off. Luckily, his specialty made Warrior Angel action figure collection, with extra points of articulation at the jaw, groin, and ass, allowed for such incidents and could be reattached. 

"Now, Lex," Lionel's order echoed in the blue-lit room. 

With a put-upon sigh, Lex stuffed the broken penis in Warrior Angel's open mouth, rose from behind the office diorama, and adjusted his hard-on into a more comfortable position down the side of his left leg. The professionalism of his tailor hid the bulge in his pants and his smoothed the wrinkles from his mauve shirt. His wingtips clicked on the marble floor of his private study. He brushed his fingers of the hood of the Porsche he'd crashed into a river, wiped a smidge of dust off the monitor displaying a computerized recreation of the crash, and patted the cheek of the poster-sized picture of the Kent kid on his way out of the room. 

Lex took his time walking from the third wing to the first floor. An antique bowl full of hand-sized Nerf balls stood centered on a table outside the office doors. Lex tucked one in his pocket, grasped both handles, and pushed open the double doors with great fanfare. He swept into the room and stopped in front of the glass desk. Lionel Luthor sat regally behind it, his greasy mane of hair falling about the shoulders of his Armani suit. 

Lex took the Nerf ball from his pocket and threw it at his father's head. Lionel didn't flinch or dodge out of the way. The orange spongy ball bounced harmlessly off his forehead, dropped onto the desk, and rolled off onto the floor. Still blind, then. 

"I wish you would cease such sophomoric behavior, Lex," Lionel said with a moue of displeasure. 

"And ruin my fun? Never." 

"Not even in front of visitors?" 

Lex stiffened minutely and turned. Two people, a man and a woman, were seated on the sofa across the room. He put on a polite smile. "My apologies for not greeting you both sooner." 

"Lex, may I introduce Jor-El and Lara," Lionel said, as Jor-El and Lara stood. "They've traveled a very long way to meet with you." 

Lex quickly catalogued the two with a trained eye. Both were tall, salt-and-peppered haired, and had classically strong features. They both wore matching silvery-blue form-fitting jumpsuits with no discernable zippers. Lara's breasts received a second or two's glance, but it was Jor-El's face that caught Lex's attention. He looked uncannily like an older version of the Kent boy, especially in the mouth. Wide and with fat, succulent lips, Lex couldn't mistake a cocksucker mouth like that; he'd had Kent's stretched around his dick enough times to be an expert identifier. Could Jor-El be related to his underage boytoy? 

Lex peeked sidelong at Lionel. He wondered what game the old man was up to, now. There was no way Lionel didn't know about the resemblance, in spite of being blind. The only way to find out was to play. Lex made his opening move. "I can't help but notice, Jor-El, that you greatly resemble an adopted friend of mine, albeit older and more distinguished. His name is Cletus. Cletus Kent." 

"I do not recognize name," Jor-El responded in a deep, melodic voice. "However, it is possible your friend is my child. Klyd-El was sent here shortly after dropping." 

Lionel perked up. "Sent?" 

Jor-El dipped his head. "Lara needed to test her propulsion system." 

Lex frowned in confusion. What did a propulsion system have to do with Cletus being adopted? He looked at his father, who was stroking his beard with barely hidden glee. Oh hell, please don't tell him Lionel found another nutjob like Dr. Hamilton. 

"I couldn't help but notice your accent," Lex said. "Are you saying you sent Cletus to America to be adopted?" 

"That is how it worked out to be," Jor-El responded. 

"If you don't mind my asking, what region are you from?" Lex said. They had to be from somewhere in Asia. He'd suspected that Cletus was not American born because of his features. 

"The Lurvan region. We currently reside in Kandor," Jor-El replied. "It is a city of intellect and splendor. You shall enjoy your life there." 

"Excuse me?" Lex frowned. "What do you mean?" 

"It is why we have come, to select next mate for House of El," Jor-El said, exchanging a smile with Lara. 

Lex was confused. He hated being confused, especially when Lionel looked downright giddy. "Are you suggesting an arranged marriage?" 

Lara spoke for the first time, in a melodious foreign language that soothed Lex's ears. Jor-El listened a moment and then dipped his head. "Yes, this is what it is called in your language." 

"He'll accept." Lionel burst from his chair, his arms extended wide, like he was going to hug someone or give a ministerial blessing. "The House of El joins with the House of Luthor." 

Lex looked at his father across the desk. "Dad, don't you think we should discuss this first?" 

"Nonsense, son!" Lionel boomed. "It is time you settled down, anyway." 

His father seemed to have conveniently forgotten Lex's ill-fated marriage to Desiree, the one that was annulled finally just last week. Something was definitely up. 

"I don't know anything about this girl," Lex glanced at Jor-El and Lara out of the corner of his eye and lowered his voice, "or her family. They could be gold-diggers." 

"Pish." Lionel picked up his cane from the desk, let it unfold, and tapped his way around the desk. Lex tried not to flinch when Lionel touched his face. "I am certain there are other reasons you have been chosen. Isn't that correct, Jor-El?" 

"Indeed," Jor-El said. "I know not what is a 'gold-diggers', but we have selected Lex Luth-Or as he is most unique species in this area." 

In other words, it was Lex's freak looks that drew the foreigners' attention. "I'm not interested." 

"Of course you are." Lionel clamped his hand on the back of Lex's neck and squeezed painfully. "This is a marvelous opportunity for us." 

"Us? I'm the one who'll be marrying this girl, not you." Lex attempted to step back out of Lionel's grasp. 

Lionel held on harder and steered him accurately towards the door, cane clicking on the tile. "Jor-El, Lara, if you'll excuse us a moment." 

Jor-El dipped his head. 

Lex and Lionel exited the office through the side door. Lex yanked out of Lionel's hold once they were in the hall. "What is going on, Dad?" he asked, keeping his tone level so as not to reveal his annoyance. 

"This is the opportunity of a lifetime, Lex. Do you know what those two are?" Lionel said. 

"I'm sure you're about to tell me," Lex drawled, tucking his hands into the pockets of his pants. 

"Jor-El and Lara Jor-El are extraterrestrials!" 

Lex dropped his head back and looked heavenward. He'd been right. "Not this again." 

"It's the truth," Lionel declared. "They come from the planet Krypton. They told me so before I called for you." 

"Is that where the invisible spaceship was from, too?" Lex mocked. 

Lionel whipped his cane up. Lex barely dodged getting whapped in the face. "The ship was there, I know it. Your toy, Cletus Kent, probably took it and hid it." 

"Now Cletus is an alien?" Lex snorted. "I thought extraterrestrials were supposed to be intelligent. Cletus is a dim as a burned out light bulb." 

"Jor-El did say they needed a test subject. Most obviously, they would pick the runt of the litter," Lionel said. "You and I both know Cletus possesses abilities beyond that of mortal men." 

Lex had to concede that point. He'd been collecting evidence on Cletus since they'd crashed into one another on Loeb Bridge a year ago. If Cletus wasn't so good at sucking cock, Lex probably would've trapped him in a lab somewhere and found out what made him tick. "What makes you believe these two are aliens? I could've hired them to torment you. You did say my humor was juvenile." 

"They have sufficiently proven themselves," Lionel said. "And they would have had tentacles if you had hired them." 

"True." Lex rocked on his heels. "Let's say I'll buy into your aliens. Why should I be the posterboy for interspecies mating?" 

"You must be joking, Lex," Lionel said. "Out of everyone on earth, beings from another planet chose you to marry their daughter. They want to take you to their home planet. Think of the technology needed for space travel alone!" 

Lex took his hand from his pocket and rubbed the scar on his lip. He remembered the lost octagonal disk made up of a polymer unknown on earth. The prestige hamster began turning the money wheel in his mind. "It could be a lucrative venture. If I believed them." 

Lionel smiled sharkily. "There's only one way to find out." 

* * *

The medical bay of the starship Enterprise was located in a cave. Lex didn't know which surprised him more: the bay behind the cave wall or the fact that Kansas had caves. Last he'd checked, the state was as flat as Lana Lang's chest, the girl Cletus mooned over until Lex stuck his cock in the kid's mouth to shut him up. 

The cave descended approximately fifty feet in the middle of a cornfield on the property of LexCorp Plant No. 1 (Ha! Take that, Dad!). Lex had been nervous when Jor-El and Lara had led him off the road into the corn. Pictures of him being raped, disemboweled, and strangled with his own entrails played across his mind's theater as they traipsed through the field. If he hadn't known Lionel would be watching, or listening, or feeling a Braille report on a screen, he may have refused to continue following Jor-El and Lara. 

But Lionel always watched Lex, the perverted old coot, and he'd coming charging to the rescue of his profit margin and net the aliens, while his white steed trampled Lex into the dirt. 

Ambient lighting with no discernable source conveniently provided a means for Lex to see the cave. The stone walls and floor were dry and appeared to have been chipped by hand, rather than by nature. The narrow passage downward broadened into a chamber. Pictographs painted the cave walls, making Lex perk up. If the aliens turned out to be a sham, a discovery of ancient culture would still put Lex's name on the map. 

Lara peeled down the front of her jumpsuit and Lex learned that there were deep valleys in Kansas, too. Sadly, she didn't bare all, merely enough cleavage to stir Lex's groin and to expose an octagonal-shaped disk poking up from between her breasts. Jor-El plucked the disk and Lara covered herself again. 

Lex lost interest in seeing titties when the ambient lighting caught the silver of the disk. He knew that disk. He'd had that disk in his possession once, or one similar to it. His full attention was grabbed, his mouth parting in wonder. Could the disk really, truly be of alien origin? 

Jor-El stuck the disk in a hole in the cave wall that Lex hadn't noticed previously. He noticed it now, because the pictographs on the wall lit up. Circles, squares, triangles, and lines arranged in patterns glowed blue, red, and yellow. Jor-El touched a specific combination of the glowing symbols and a rumble filled the chamber. 

Lex's head whipped around. A section of the cave wall opened like a sliding door. Lara walked right through the opening. Curiosity and awe had Lex moving after her before his brain started screaming warnings. 

Another chamber was behind the doorway. The cave walls had no symbols or pictographs. Instead, in the center of the room was a circular, waist-high stone table. Shapes matching the ones that had glowed were cut into the stone. A triangular depression in the middle seemed to be waiting for something to fill it. 

Jor-El came into the inner chamber, walked up to the table, and stuck the disk into a slot on the surface. The warning screams in Lex's brain turned to mocking I told you sos, as the door in the wall rumbled shut. 

"There is no need for alarm," Jor-El said, pushing a series of symbols on the table. It was the first time he'd spoken since they'd left Lex's car on the side of the road. 

Lex wasn't reassured. "I thought we'd be going to a ship, not that I'd be sealed in a cave." 

"It is necessary that we examine you prior to leaving Earth," Jor-El said. 

"Examine me?" 

A quieter rumble filled the inner chamber. Another section of the cave wall opened into the medical bay of the starship Enterprise. 

"Yes," Jor-El replied. "We must ensure that you are medically sound. It would not do to take you to Krypton if you could not fulfill your duties." 

Lex stared as lights flickered on when Lara walked into the medical bay. Flat panel screens with touch buttons, monitors, and displays lined the squared-off walls. A person-sized metal table stood in the center of the bay, a chandelier of various sized silver rods and hoses hanging above it. Lara punched a series of buttons on the wall, colored panels lit up, and the bay began to hum. 

"If you would disrobe and lay on the table," Jor-El said. "Lara will perform the examination." 

Lex waffled between panic and arousal. Two purported extraterrestrials wanted to examine his body in set right out of a science fiction movie. He had no proof they were real aliens. Jor-El and Lara could actually be deranged Trekkies who just wanted to act out kinky alien abduction fantasies. With him. 

Lex was naked in seconds. 

Jor-El took Lex's clothing. Lex's half-hard cock swung as he sauntered into the medical bay. He felt both Jor-El's and Lara's eyes on him and preened. Hopping up onto the table, his preening turned to cursing at the coldness of the metal. His semi wilted. 

Lara spoke melodiously to Lex, lightly pushing at his bare shoulders. Lex got the hint and lay down properly on the table. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jor-El press a few buttons and a portion of the wall popped out. Jor-El stuffed Lex's clothing into the bin. A moment later, Lex heard a whine and a pop, and smoke curled over the lip of the bin. 

"What did you do to my clothes?" he exclaimed, starting to sit up. Lara's hand on his chest pushed him back down. 

"We will supply clothes for you to wear on Krypton," Jor-El said. 

"What if it turns out I'm not medically acceptable to go?" Lex said, peeved. His wallet and keys had been in his pants pocket. 

"Lara shall determine that now," Jor-El replied. Lara said something and Jor-El translated. "Lara requests that you not move, Lex Luth-Or. She wishes to begin the examination." 

Lex grumbled under his breath and shifted on the table until he was comfortable. Aliens or not, he'd better be getting laid here. He could only go so far with sexual role-playing until his patience ran out. 

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and relaxed as Lara started touching him. Now, this was what he was talking about: Lara's fingers smoothed over his chest, stroking in small circles around his nipples. She lifted both of his arms above his head and continued the massage over the entire pectoral area. His eyes popped open and he sucked in a sharp breath when she pinched his tits. 

Lex's cock hardened as she continued to pinch and pluck, jolts of electricity connecting his nipples to his groin. He hissed when she bent her head, placed her mouth over his nipple, and sucked. The examination was going just as he'd hoped. Her lips pursed as she drew and released his nipple rhythmically. Her fingers continued their massage of his pec. 

Lex glanced at Jor-El when she straightened, circled the table, and repeated her suckling on his other tit. Jor-El's expression was bland, but his eyes were focused on Lex's cock. Lex moaned and his erection jumped. It slapped against his abdomen and drooled in anticipation. 

Lara stopped sucking, said something to Jor-El, and reached for a dangling stick overhead. The silvery instrument had a flat head an inch in diameter, like a paddle, and a touch button on the handle. She placed the paddle on Lex's chest directly above his nipple and put her thumb over the button. 

An image sprang to life on one of the flat panel screens on the wall. Lex's brows lifted at the red and white textured picture. She moved the paddle slowly around his pectoral and the texture shifted and changed. He realized she was looking at his muscle beneath his skin. Fairly odd, but also kinky. She focused on one shadowy duct beneath his nipple, said something to Jor-El again, and repeated her examination on the other side. 

"What is she looking at?" Lex asked, anxious to get back to the sucking. His cock was feeling neglected. 

"She is assuring that you're normally formed for a human," Jor-El responded. 

Lex narrowed his eyes in offense. "The hair on my head is the only thing that's different." 

Lara spoke, released the paddle, and the cord pulled it back up. Jor-El smiled. "She says you are correctly developed. We had hoped that you were unmated by choice, not because you are flawed." 

Lex opened his mouth to spit a scathing reply, but Lara grabbed his balls suddenly and all that came out was a squeak. He lifted his head. Lara stood by his hip and fondled him with an intense expression of concentration. She squeezed, stroked, and tugged his scrotum, catching the occasional short curly, and Lex dropped his head back on the table with a clang. 

Lara spoke and Jor-El responded in their foreign language. He moved to beside the table and his hand joined Lara's on Lex's nuts. 

Lex's moan echoed in the chamber. Two differently sized hands lifted and pulled his testes. He felt hot breath on his thighs and raised his head again. Jor-El and Lara were both bent over his groin, their graying head touching. They spoke in low, melodic tones, as they played with him. 

Lara put her free hand on Lex's thigh and pulled his leg. Lex assisted by spreading his legs shamelessly. His neck strained as he watched Lara bend over him again. Jor-El lifted Lex's scrotum and Lara stroked her fingers on the underside and down his perineum. Lex tilted his hips in hope and his eyelids fluttered with the questing fingers rubbed over his asshole. Yes, yes, yes. 

Lara said something and poked the tip of a finger into his anus. Lex's head dropped onto the table and he breathed out, "Fuck, yeah." 

Jor-El walked around the table to the wall behind Lara and pressed several buttons. Lex raised his knee, putting his foot flat on the table, and pushed up. His ass lifted and Lara's finger poked further in. The dry entry made him grunt and his cock twitch. He curled his hands into fists so as not to grab and jack it. 

Lara wiggled her finger, pushed until it was fully inside, and then wiggled it again. Lex bit his inner cheek to keep from begging for more. Mind-reading had to be one of her alien powers, because she forced a second finger into his hole. It burned upon entry. Lex was slutty enough to love it. 

Then, she crooked her fingers, and Lex choked off a cry of pleasure. He grasped the sides of the table and tried not to writhe as she rubbed his prostate some more. She and Jor-El conversed and she removed her fingers. Lex stopped himself from protesting. He was the abductee in the scenario, not the one giving orders. 

Lara joined Jor-El in front of the console. Lex shifted on the table, which was becoming slick with sweat under his shoulders and ass. He stroked a hand through his pubic hair and over his erection, breathing heavily out his nose at how good it felt. He wiped his thumb over the crown, slicking the head with pre-come, and watched Lara and Jor-El. Symbols and a diagram appeared on the screen in front of them. Lex couldn't decipher what the diagram represented. He focused on Lara's and Jor-El's asses instead. Their silvery-blue jumpsuits molded tightly to them. He wouldn't mind tapping either. 

Lex pinched the base of his cock and released it when Lara turned. She came back to the table and said something to him as she selected another instrument hanging above the table. She chose a metal wand with a rounded head, approximately three inches long and an inch in diameter. It had a quarter-inch hole in the tip. She held it by the thin handle and thumbed one of two buttons. 

Lex watched as a clear jelly-like substance oozed from the hole in the tip. It didn't take a genius to figure out it was lubricant (although Lex was one). Lara lifted his scrotum and put the wand to his anus. Lex sucked his lower lip into his mouth, pushed up with his foot, and tilted his hips in eagerness. 

The warm gel slicked the entry of the metal wand. Lex was disappointed that it didn't go in very far; three inches wasn't all that exciting. He'd rather be probed by a thick, meaty- 

Lara thumbed the other button and Lex arched off the table with a shout. "Holy fuck!" The wand vibrated wildly against his prostate, sending an overload of sensation through his groin. He grabbed his cock, stroked, and came all over his stomach. Lara didn't turn off the wand. 

Eyes rolling in their sockets, the pleasure bordered on pain as wave after wave of orgasmic stimulation washed through him. Jor-El and Lara's melodic voices sang under the roar of his blood in his ears. The vibrator was left in him for what seemed like hours. He writhed wantonly on the table, humping the air, tears leaking from his eyes when he shot his load again. 

The vibrations stopped abruptly. Lex collapsed on the table in a boneless heap. He gulped in breaths of air, his heart slamming against his chest. Rivulets of sweat itched as they ran down his face and scalp. Heat rose from his body and he felt glued to the metal surface. His fingers ached from gripping the sides of the table. He licked his dry lips and wished for water for his parched throat. 

He felt the wand being removed. His ass throbbed with phantom vibrations. Fingers pushed into his hole and poked around. He squirmed and whimpered when his over-sensitized prostate was brushed again. The fingers pulled out. He opened his eyes, blinking several times to clear his blurred vision. He had to take a shit. 

Licking his lips again, he started to sit up. Lara pushed him back down with a few foreign words. She scraped a small spatula through the semen dotting his stomach and passed it to Jor-El. Lex's ass got more uncomfortable and he struggled against her hand. He'd be impressed by her strength if he didn't have to take a shit right now. 

"Lara, let me up," he rasped. His voice was shot from screaming in ecstasy. 

"Lie still, Lex Luth-Or." Jor-El put the spatula on a metal plate sticking out of the wall, then came around the head of the table. He braced his hands on Lex's shoulders, pinning him down. 

"Let me up," Lex demanded, fighting against his hold. He was going to make an embarrassing mess if he didn't get to a restroom. "I need to use the facilities." 

Lara pulled a cord from above the table with a three-pronged claw on the end of a thin rod. She braced back his knee and slid the clawed rod up his ass. 

Lex's face heated in humiliation. He wasn't into scat. He felt the hunk of shit being pulled by the claw, closed his eyes, and lay there stiffly. He was going to kill his father for getting him into this situation. 

He tightened his asshole, but Lara still pulled until the pain forced him to relax and let the shit slip free. Lex's ass felt empty immediately. Unhappily, he opened his eyes and glared at Jor-El. However, Jor-El's attention was on Lara. 

Lex glanced at Lara, who held the rod in front of her. Trapped in the claw wasn't feces; it was a fist-sized gelatinous pink blob. She carried the blob to an open drawer in the wall. Setting it inside, she closed the drawer, released the claw, and it zipped back to the ceiling on its cord. She punched several buttons on the display. 

Jor-El let go of Lex and Lex sat up swiftly. He swung his legs over the side of the table, facing Lara's back. "What is that?" he asked, shifting uncomfortably on the table. His ass hurt and squelched from the sweat and lubricant. 

"It is a test of your compatibility to our species," Jor-El replied. 

Lex's shoulders relaxed. Of course interspecies sexual relations could be dangerous or simply impossible. He had no clue how something from his ass would verify his compatibility, but remembered they also took a semen sample. 

Lex shifted again and winced. His butt felt very well fucked, and all he'd had in him was a gelatinous blob and a three-inch anal probe. 

It struck him, then, and he had to restrain the laugh that bubbled in his chest, that he had been anal probed by aliens. Anal probed! The wavering belief that Jor-El and Lara were what they said they were tipped over into the ridiculous. Anal probed! 

Lex had to give them props for the elaborate setup they had going for them. There being a cave in Kansas should've convinced him of their lies earlier, but he'd been thrown by the lightshow in the other chamber. Painted papier-m'ch, colored filaments, and a lot of electricity created the illusion of the cave, probably in someone's storm cellar. The metal table could come from any supply store and, looking at them more studiously, Lex recognized several sex toys similar to his own collection dangling above. 

A smirk curved Lex's lips. He'd gotten laid, and now he'd do some examining of his own, find out who they are, and why the complex scenario just for sex. Though, with him being who he was, it wasn't that difficult to puzzle out; Lex Luthor was a prize catch in bed. Unless Lionel had been the one to set him up, in which case, he owed his dad. He'd have to lend him Cletus for an afternoon. 

Lara sang happily when whatever she was doing finished. Lex wondered if the language was real or made up. He definitely was impressed by the lengths they'd gone to fuck him, though neither of them had done the actual deed yet. When he'd recovered from his multiple orgasms, he'd get them naked and do them properly. 

"Lara states that you are compatible," Jor-El proclaimed with a beaming smile. He really did look like Cletus when he did that; Lex was curious if they actually were related. "As head of the House of El, I request, Lex Luth-Or, that you be the mate and host for the heir of El." 

"Sure," Lex shrugged, "Why not?" It wasn't as if this was real. 

Jor-El relayed Lex's answer to Lara, who trilled joyfully. She stepped between Lex's legs, pushed him backwards, and stuck her fingers up his butt. 

Lex grasped his knees and held his legs up and open. His head hung off the other side of the table. He should let them know that the jig was up. 

Jor-El's fingers joined Lara's in his ass. 

Maybe he'd tell them later. 

* * *

Later turned out to be much sooner than he'd thought. 

After Jor-El and Lara finished what sounded like them singing praises to Lex's ass - which was understandable; Lex's ass was exceptionally praiseworthy - they popped their fingers free and walked away from the table. Lex lay there a moment in hope, and when no further probing occurred, sat up. 

Lara appeared to be washing her hands at a station in the back corner of the medical bay, with red water that spurted from a miniature bidet. Jor-El procured a silvery-blue jumpsuit like the ones they wore and brought it over to Lex. Lex guessed, sadly, the sex portion of the alien abduction scenario was finished. 

"Once you have dressed, we shall proceed to Krypton," Jor-El said. 

Or maybe the sex was simply moving to a different location. 

Lex debated, as he attempted to figure out how to put on the jumpsuit, whether or not exposing the fraudulent aliens would be beneficial at this juncture. He hadn't had actual sex with either Jor-El or Lara, but he had had multiple orgasms already without having to do any work. If someone else were in the position, say Cletus (as farfetched as it would be,) he'd probably tell him a vibrating probe up the ass was worth two aliens in the buff. Then, he'd have to shoot himself for channeling Jonathan Kent. 

The jumpsuit stretched wide at the collar and Lex stuck his feet into it. The boots Lex had thought were a designer color scheme were a part of the jumpsuit, like footie pajamas. He hopped off the table, tucked his flaccid penis between his legs, and pulled up the jumpsuit. It formed to his body like second skin, snug but not uncomfortable. The sleeves came three-quarters of the way down his forearms. Stylish. 

Lex smoothed his hands down the front of the jumpsuit, around his hips, and ran over his ass. He wished he had a mirror. He felt like a superhero. Or, better, a fiendish villain-no, a supervillain, who had no scruples using his powers to subjugate his nemeses. He'd bend them to his will. He'd force them to their knees. He'd make them beg. 

He'd order them to tailor a better jumpsuit with more room in the crotch. 

Lex adjusted his burgeoning erection to hang down his left leg under the stare of Jor-El. "Yes, I'm hard again already. I have a fantastic libido. If we could move this party on to a proper bed, I'll demonstrate more intimately." He stroked his hand along his length. 

Jor-El blinked twice and lifted his gaze. "I had not known human penis are that large. When I visited Earth before I gain mate, I was careful to be only with mated human who had been through lobbaf." 

"You can cut the act, Jor," Lex said, walking over to the bin where Jor-El had stuck his clothes. "I admire you both for the excellent show you've put on, and as a token of my appreciation, I'll have sex with you both in any position you choose." 

"'Act'?" Jor-El said, confused. "I am not familiar with that Human-English word." 

Lex made a face and poked through the ash at the bottom of the bin for his keys and wallet. They'd better be there. "Don't test my patience. I've gone along with things so far, but I'm weary of the role-playing game." 

Lara spoke and Jor-El waved her off. She left the medical bay. "I am not understanding what you mean, Lex Luth-Or," Jor-El said. 

"Look, how much has my father paid you? Ten? Twenty-thousand?" Lex wasn't finding his keys or wallet. "I'll match it for a few more hours of pleasure if you drop the alien schtick." 

"Your father did not offer money." 

Lex pressed his lips together, becoming angry. He faced Jor-El. "Then, whoever it was that set me up, or if you did it on your own because you have some odd kinks. Just stop." 

Lara called something made-up from the chamber outside the bay. Jor-El motioned with his hand. "The examination chamber is to be sealed and sterilized. Please, we must go." 

"I want my keys and wallet," Lex said, refusing to budge. 

"You do not need such items on Krypton." 

A dark look crossed Lex's face. "Tell me, Jor-El, do you value your family?" 

Jor-El dipped his head. "The House of El is most important." 

"Then I would suggest you remain on my good side," Lex said smoothly. "I would hate for your 'House' to be sullied." 

Jor-El appeared appropriately dismayed. Lex sauntered from the medical bay. Jor-El would bring him his wallet and keys. 

A rumble behind him made him turn quickly. The cave wall closed over the entryway of the bay. Jor-El walked towards the circular stone table in the middle of the chamber. He held nothing in his hands. 

Lex squeezed his own hands into fists. The bite of his fingernails into his palm kept him from exploding in anger immediately. He'd wait a few seconds, to see what Jor-El would do. 

Jor-El took the octagonal disk from the table, walked over to another part of the cave chamber, and pushed the disk into a camouflaged slot in the wall, like a coin slot. The disk disappeared. A heartbeat later and another portion of the cave wall rumbled open. A brilliant white light shined blindingly beyond the papier-m'ch doorway. 

Lex was still impressed, even if he was pissed off. The cave was a stunning set. He watched Lara stride quickly into the new chamber and vanish into the light. Spotlights or some other bright track lighting had to be hung above the door, tilted precisely to make it look like she'd disappeared. He remembered seeing the trick during a play about Houdini. 

Jor-El motioned to Lex. "Be quick, Lex Luth-Or. The opening will shut shortly." 

Lex slid his hands down his hips, forgetting he didn't have pockets. "I don't think so, Jor-El. But you already knew I wouldn't." 

"You have changed your desires?" 

"My desires are still the same, I've merely had my fill of aliens," Lex said, rocking on his heels. 

Jor-El appeared disappointed. "I shall convey your rejection to Lara and Kal." 

"You do that." The id part of Lex's brain protested at the mention of a Kal and the possibility of missing out on a threesome. Lex appeased it by planning to steal the vibrating anal probe from the faux medical bay before he left. 

Lex watched as Jor-El dipped his head in agreement and farewell. Then, he disappeared into the beaming light. 

Lex snorted at the continued alien imagery. He walked closer to the open doorway, straining to hear the Els climbing the steps. He was surprised that it wasn't warm by the doorway from the high-powered lights. Tapping his thigh, he glanced at the wall portion that had slid aside, the one that was supposed to close quickly. He glanced behind him across the chamber at the way they'd come in. It would be a pain in the ass, and not the pleasant kind, to figure out how to open it. Looking back into the light, he shielded a hand above his eyes and tried to peer past the brightness. It would be the easiest way out, if they hadn't raised the ladder or something. He'd better check. 

Lex stepped into the light. 

* * *

The bright light made Lex's eyes water and his head felt like it was being squeezed with every step he took, as if he were scuba diving and had descended too far in the ocean. His ears popped suddenly and everything became extremely loud. He heard the hum of machinery, singing voices of conversation, and the rush of air that buffeted his face when he tripped out of the light. 

Toe throbbing, he scrubbed a hand over his teary eyes and blinked several times to clear the white spots from his vision. The voices stopped, and when he was able to see again, he found Lara, Jor-El, and some other guy - Kal, perhaps? - staring at him. They stood around a circular table in the center of a metal, circular room. The same silvery metal framed the ceiling and the floor, a dull blue lighting strip edging the walls. The table glowed with symbols identical to the table in the chamber. 

"You have changed your desires!" Jor-El boomed with a smile as bright as the light. 

"No." Lex glanced behind him. A doorway cut into the metal wall, the high-powered light beaming past its frame. He'd stubbed his toe on the metal lip at floor-level. 

"You have come through gate." Jor-El sounded puzzled. "Is it not your choice to be Kal's mate?" 

Lex looked at the guy standing beside Lara. Not a twitch of interest from his cock. "Kal doesn't do much for me," he said. "Now, if you would show me the way out." 

Jor-El perked. "Yes. I will show you outside. Then, you shall change your desires. Kandor is a city of intellect and splendor." 

Lex pinched the bridge of his nose. He was developing a headache. It was the last time he was having sex with aliens. "I told you to drop the act." 

"I request, Lex Luth-Or, that you view Kandor and meet Kal before your rejection is made final." 

So, the guy in the room with them wasn't Kal. Lex dropped his hand and sighed internally. "Fine," he agreed. As soon as they were outside, he'd use his Navy Seal-trained skills, put Jor-El down for the count, and go home. 

Lara said something to the unknown guy, who pushed a few symbols on the table. The door behind Lex sealed with a clang. 

Lex wondered if he'd just made a big mistake. 

Another portion of the wall opened into a doorway as Lara walked up to it. Lex saw people passing in a hallway on the other side. At least help was readily available, if needed. 

Jor-El motioned at the door. "Come, Lex Luth-Or." 

Lex followed Lara, tripping over the doorjamb into the hall. He cursed, glanced around, and made sure no one had noticed. The hallway stretched in two directions, made of the same metal of the circular room. It also had a curve on the upper side of the ceiling and brighter white strip lights providing illumination. Men and women dressed in jumpsuits of a variety of colors, and a few women wearing equally colorful, diaphanous shift dresses, strode with purpose in the hall. Several carried silver briefcases, thin books that looked like laptops, or black shoulder bags. Conversation hummed with a lilting melody. 

Toes on both feet throbbing, Lex's brows drew together in puzzlement. He'd expected to be outside, not in an unfamiliar corridor. Was he in LexCorp Plant No. 1? The cave had been on the property. "Where are we?" 

"Kandor Transport Hub," Jor-El replied. He began walking and Lex fell into step with him automatically. "From the Hub, you may gate to a majority of the on-world and off-world destinations." 

"My patience wears thin," Lex said succinctly. "I shall ask you again and I expect a real answer, and not the name of an alien airport. Where are we?" 

"We are in Kandor, city of intellect and splendor." Jor-El stopped and gestured grandly at the wall. 

Only, the wall was a window, and Lex's eyes grew wide. Curved glass, or something similar, rose from the floor to the ceiling, giving a clear view outside. A large, red sun hung low in the purple sky, gray trails of clouds floating on an unfelt breeze. Skyscrapers gleamed silver, white, and dark blue, reflecting mirror images of the sky and sun. Crafts shaped like bullets shot along risen tracks snaking between buildings. 

"The li-aronom is source of transportation for the residents of Kandor," Jor-El said. He and Lara stepped up to the window on either side of Lex and looked outside. "The Enforcers and Retronics have sole independent transportation in the city." 

"Blue screen," Lex said, shaking off the disquieted feeling. "Computer generated projection to propagate believability of your alien world. Beautifully done, but the longer you play your games, the more you will live to regret it." 

"Games are for children, Lex Luth-Or," Jor-El said. "Come. Night approaches and Kal is awaiting your arrival." 

Lex had fallen in with a pair of lunatics, or very persistent kidnappers. Fleeing wouldn't be a bad idea at this juncture. A door outside would be all he needed to escape. 

He kept pace with Jor-El and Lara as they walked down the hall, which intersected with other hallways in the "Hub." He kept his eyes peeled for an exit. Jor-El chattered on about the splendors of Kandor, things about science, languages, and government, none of which Lex paid much attention. Many doors opened, but they led to inner circular rooms with round tables in the center. The men and women they passed spoke with each other in the same melodious tones as Lara. Lex calculated the cost of paying all the extra actors, set design, and computer graphics, and felt the stirrings of panic in his gut. The elaboration of the charade was disconcerting. 

The brush of a cool breeze against his face grabbed Lex's attention. A large, burly man in a black jumpsuit entered the hallway from a door in the outer wall. Lex caught a glimpse of daylight. Without hesitation, he bolted for the door. Freedom! 

Five steps outside and he froze - literally. Frigid temperatures pierced his body in a half-heartbeat. A white layer of frost formed on his exposed skin. His nostrils and eyes iced over, and the breath he gasped through his mouth pulled shards of pain into his lungs. 

Unknown hands plucked him off the ground as if he weighed nothing and carried him into a warm cocoon. He began shivering hard as he defrosted. A firm hand tilted his head back and liquid poured over his eyes and nose, then forced down his throat. Heat spread through his insides. He could breathe again. 

His vision unblurred and he found himself staring into a sneer. The burly man who'd come from outside said something obviously rude, by his tone, straightened, and walked away. 

"What did he say?" Lex croaked, finding Jor-El and Lara sitting with him in an alcove off the hallway. Others nearby gawked at him and commented to one another. 

"A disparaging remark about humans." Jor-El's face creased in censure. "I am of mind to agree with him. That was foolish to have done, Lex Luth-Or. Human bodies are not built to withstand temperatures outdoors." 

Still shivering, Lex closed his eyes briefly. It was all an illusion. Trickery and refrigeration. He hadn't seen a sky in his favorite shade of lavender overhead, before he'd gone temporarily blind. There was no way he'd stepped through a cave in Kansas and ended up on another planet. 

Lex believed in three things unquestioningly: sex, power, and money. Extraterrestrials fell nowhere on that list. His father was the one on the alien kick. He was the one chasing invisible spaceships and investigating the Kents based on a phone call he'd received from Nixon prior to Lex shooting the slime. Lex had thought Lionel had been brain damaged in the same operation that caused his blindness. Humoring Lionel kept him off Lex's back about the newly formed LexCorp. Sure, he knew that Cletus had powers over and above his cocksucking abilities, but so did others in Smallville- because of the meteorites, not because they were from outerspace. 

"Come." Jor-El rose. He said something to Lara, who dipped her head and strode off at a fast pace. "Lara shall proceed ahead of us to inform Kal of our pending arrival. Kal has been schooled by the Academy on humans in preparation for his mate. He shall know how to care for you." 

Lex pushed unsteadily to his feet. He was cold to the core and hadn't stopped shivering. He was in no shape to try running again. Besides, where would he go? He was either trapped on an alien world or trapped by some exceptionally insane role-players. Or he could be drugged unconscious and trapped in his own delusion. In any event, it didn't bode well for him. Going with the flow was his best option. 

He'd better at least be getting laid again. 

* * *

Jor-El shepherded Lex onto the li-aronom through a station connected to the Hub. To Lex, the station looked like the train station in downtown Metropolis, with computerized displays hanging overhead listing incoming and outgoing crafts. People of various shapes and sizes (and smells) crowded the edge of the enclosed platform, silently waiting for the craft. They pushed their way onto the craft as other tried to exit through the same sliding doors. No one apologized for bumping the other, and when someone tripped and fell, no one helped him up. 

Rows of soft seats that molded comfortably to Lex's ass faced the same direction in the craft. The interior was stark white with bands of windows curving at intervals over the roof. The red sun did not beam through the windows, muted, Lex figured, by some sort of mirrored tint on the outside. 

The li-aronom rode so smooth Lex didn't feel like he was moving at all. His only indication was the buildings and other crafts whizzing past the windows. Glancing out the windows, he tried to take stock of his delusional world. Steel-like monstrosities rose tall into the purple sky. He saw no planes passing overhead, nor any birds. The space between the buildings held rail track and nothing more. 

The craft stopped several times inside tunnel-like platforms, discharging and gaining passengers, who rode the li-aronom in eerie silence. The platforms were attached to the buildings at different levels, but none on the ground. Jor-El informed him in dulcet tones that the li-aronom connected to every building in Kandor. With temperatures so cold outside, Lex didn't have to question why. 

Jor-El rose as the craft pulled into another platform. Lex guessed they were getting off. Lex hugged his arms around himself and followed Jor-El out of the craft. 

The gust of wind whishing through the tunnel nearly knocked Lex off his feet. It did nothing to help warm him up. He stumbled a few steps, breathing in the painfully icy air. Less than ten feet separated the craft from the building, but the platform seemed to stretch on forever. A metal door set in the building slid open like an elevator as they approached, and Lex tripped inside after Jor-El. 

Being so cold upset his balance, and Lex fell to his hands and knees. The hard, white flooring jarred him. Behind him, the doors slid shut, cutting of the cold. 

Lex shivered and pushed himself up on his knees. He was in what appeared to be stark white elevator lobby, with six doors on each side of the narrow room. One other person had gotten off at their stop, a woman with short, spiked hair in a brown shift dress. She pushed a black touchpad beside one of the doors and it lit up blue. The doors in front of her opened a second later, she stepped inside, and the doors slid silently shut. 

Jor-El stood above him, frowning slightly. "We must get you upstairs. I do not think humans' skin is to be shaded blue." 

"Frostbite. Hypothermia." Lawsuits danced in Lex's head beside the trio in the straightjackets screaming for help. He held out his hand. "A little help?" 

Jor-El took a quick step back and clasped his hands behind his back. "I cannot touch you, Lex Luth-Or. It is forbidden." 

"You had no trouble touching me back in the cave, I recall," Lex said, climbing unsteadily to his feet. He toes would probably hurt from tripping over another lip, if he could feel his feet. 

"We are on Krypton. Earth does not have such strictures. Here, only Enforcers may lay hands on another without their mate's permission," Jor-El said. "Otherwise, such trespass is punishable at a mate's choosing." 

"What about single people?" Lex thought about the difficulty of having sex without using his hands. He'd have to be tied up in order to do it. His cock wanted to twitch in approval, but it had crawled inside his body along with his balls. 

"Children are taught the proper behavior in Academy." Jor-El walked over to one of the elevators and pushed the black touchpad on the wall. It lit up blue. "Once Kryptonians reach maturity, a mate is chosen for them before a year turns." 

"Apparently, monogamy is a practice of marriage." Lex shuddered at the thought of having only one sex partner for the rest of his life. Thankfully, this was all a delusion in his mind. 

The elevator doors opened and Jor-El and Lex stepped into a solid white box, marred only by a computerized number pad on the wall to the left of the door. "Your quarters are on level one-four-eight," Jor-El told him, pressing the numbers on the pad. "The li-aronom platform is level three-five." 

Lex's stomach dropped around his knees as the elevator suddenly rushed upwards. He braced a hand on the pristine white wall and tried not to vomit. That afternoon's lunch lurched into his throat when the elevator stopped abruptly. Jor-El did not appear affected by the ride, at all. 

The elevator lobby matched exactly to the one on level thirty-five. Both sides of the lobby area opened into hallways running left and right. Jor-El proceeded down one, Lex trailing after him in the white, white hallway. No windows broke the walls. No tile lines marred the white floors. No art or furniture lined the hall. 

Recessed doors, also white, were spaced a good distance apart along the corridor. Beside the doors at waist height were iridescent touchpads with pale symbols etched onto them. Jor-El stopped in front of the door with a diamond pierced by a barbell on the pad. He lay his hand on it and the pad flashed blue. The door slid open without a sound. 

Jor-El turned and beamed at Lex. "Welcome to your new quarters." 

Lex smiled sickly in return and shivered. "I hope it has a hot shower and a coffeemaker." 

"Retronics fitted your quarters with all that a human needs," Jor-El said, and motioned Lex inside. 

Two people rose from a curved white couch in a large, open, very white room, when Lex stepped over the threshold. Relief swept through him, warming him slightly. He was rescued. "Cletus, thank god you're here." 

Cletus turned to Lara and spoke to her in another language. 

No, no, no, Lex thought in despair. Cletus couldn't be in on the ruse; he was too stupid to pull something like this off. Which meant Lex had to be unconscious, probably in the cornfield, being raped repeatedly, legs flopping in the air as he was fucked, the woman humping her cunt on his slack face, before he'd get gutted and strangled to death with his intestines. 

"Kal, speak Human-English in front of your mate," Jor-El chided. The door closed behind him, trapping Lex in the white prison of his mind. 

"It is deformed," Cletus said, derision dripping off lips. 

"Excuse me?" Lex drew his head back and stared at Cletus. 

Wearing a tight red jumpsuit that looked identical to Devilicus's uniform, Cletus strode like a panther from the couch, circled Lex, and raked his gaze up and down. He stopped in front of Lex, stared impassively at his face a moment, and then looked over his head at Jor-El. "It is deformed. Take it back." 

Lex's was immediately incensed. So what if Cletus was a figment of his imagination? No one called him deformed anymore and survived. "Listen, you slack-jawed yokel..." 

Cletus returned his gaze to Lex, and Lex's vitriol trickled to a halt. His stomach performed a slow flip. Same dark hair, same apple cheeks, same fuck-me lips, but the man standing in front of him wasn't Cletus Kent. The almond-shaped, green-grape eyes boring into his were sharp, shrewd, and measuring. His commanding posture conveyed self-assurance and dominion. Cletus always looked like he'd just fallen off a tractor and hit his head a couple times on the way down. 

Lex swallowed and shivered for another reason than being cold. "You're not Cletus." 

"It is stupid as well as deformed," Not Cletus said. 

Lex's dander rose. "I am neither unintelligent nor disfigured, nor will I hesitate to use any means at my disposal to ensure you'll think twice about insulting me again." 

Not Cletus lifted a hand and let a finger hover over Lex's upper lip. "This deformation is unappealing." 

Lex's offense faltered. It was his scar that was causing the problem, not his baldness? 

"I have selected him from many to be your mate, Kal-El," Jor-El said. 

Not Cletus lowered his hand and looked at Jor-El. "I do not wish a mate." 

"You do not have the choice," Jor-El said. "You have reached maturity. It is your duty to mate and have babies." 

Lex realized he had lost something in the translation. "This is the person you want me to marry?" he said to Jor-El, jerking a thumb at Not Cletus. Or Kal. Or whatever his name. 

Jor-El dipped his head. "Kal is heir to the House of El. He should have the most exotic of mates." 

"In case you haven't noticed, Kal is a guy," Lex said. "I can't marry another guy. It's not legal." 

"I know not what is a 'guy'," Kal pinned Lex with his narrowed eyes, "but I shall not be rejected by any unmated resop." 

Lex leaned closer, coming within a hairsbreadth of Kal's mouth. "I'd get used to it." 

Kal's lips thinned. "Humans are not worthy of being mate to an El." 

"This human is worth a hundred Els," Lex said, pointing to himself. "You'd be thanking your lucky stars if I'd consider you to be my mate. At the rate you're going, it isn't even in the realm of possibilities." 

"I shall have any mate of my choosing," Kal boomed, squaring his shoulders. "It is you who shall remain unmated and pitied." 

"Your father's the one who chooses for you and he sought me out. That makes which one of us the more pitiful?" 

Kal waved his hand imperiously. "Take it back, Jor-El. It is unfitting to host the House of El." 

Lex tilted his chin. "I've held parties that raked in millions and nabbed contracts no other companies could get their hands on. I've been taught since birth how to play the game. You couldn't buy yourself a better host than me." 

"Are you challenging me?" Kal's nostrils flared, his eyes darkening. 

Lex's arched a brow. "Are you up for the challenge?" 

Kal seized Lex unexpectedly by the hips, yanking him tight against Kal's body. Lex's mouth parted in surprise. He felt every ridge and plane of Kal's chest and thighs pressed against his, the jumpsuits providing little barrier. Lex grabbed on to Kal's thick biceps. He was suddenly rather warm. 

Kal touched his forehead to Lex's, closed his eyes, and began speaking in the melodic language of Krypton. Jor-El and Lara joined in. Lex had a sinking feeling that things were about to become really interesting. 

The Els voices rose in pitch, culminating in a near shout, and then abruptly stopped. Lex could hear the sound of his heartbeat hammering in his chest in the silent room. 

Kal's dark eyelashes swept up and he raised his head. "It is done." 

Lex swallowed apprehensively. "What is?" 

"I have accepted and bound you as my mate." Kal paused and frowned. "I know not your name." 

"It's Lex. Lex Luthor." 

Kal nodded once and proclaimed, "From this moment hence, you shall discard your father's name. You shall be now known as Lex Kal-El, mate of the heir of the House of El." 

* * *

The red-tinted water rained from the showerhead in the ceiling above the white cubicle. The color would have concerned Lex if the heat hadn't felt so good. So long as his skin wasn't melting off or becoming permanently dyed, he figured he was safe. The Els wouldn't have gone through the trouble of selecting a human as a mate only to cause him death by shower. 

Lex closed his eyes and tilted his head back. The water beat steadily against his face. He had nearly given over to the idea that this was real, that he was on an alien planet, newly married to a Cletus-clone. He decided if he woke up tomorrow still on Krypton, he'd go with it. If it ended up being an elaborate delusion his mind had created due to trauma of being in a coma or something, at least he wouldn't be bored whilst unconscious. 

Jor-El and Lara had gone shortly after Kal declared himself bonded to Lex, leaving Lex alone with his new husband. Not one to be uncomfortable in a stranger's presence, Lex had demanded coffee and a shower from Kal. 

The shower was temperature controlled with one of those touchpads displays set into the cubicle wall. Kal had shown him what buttons, each displaying its own symbol, turned the water on and off, and made it hotter or colder. Two hoses emerged from the wall above the touchpad and dangled towards the tapered floor, the drain being in the corner. One hose looked like a standard hand-held showerhead, a handle with a round disc at the end, controlled by a single touch button. The second hose had a tapered rod and, when Lex pressed the touch button on the handle, it spurted a steady stream of water out the tip. Lex left the shower feeling fresh and clean, whether it was meant to go up his ass or not. 

The cramped, white bathroom held a shower cubicle, a bidet-like sink with a mirrored inset cabinet above it, a scary, waterless toilet that vaporized anything that went in the bowl, and two inset shelves holding folded, thick white towels. Lex found a comb and an electric toothbrush, which squirted toothpaste automatically onto the bristles, in the otherwise empty cabinet above the sink. Leaving the damp towel with his crumpled jumpsuit on the white lineless tile floor, Lex pressed the touch button that opened the sliding white door and exited into the bedroom. 

Kal sat perched on the edge of the round bed, a bright patch of red in the white, white room. A knowing smirk curved Lex's lips at the slow drag of Kal's eyes over his nude form. His cock stirred as he sauntered closer to Kal. 

"May I help you?" Lex asked, scratching through the deep red-gold curls on his lower belly. Kal's gaze focused on Lex's hand and Lex's smirk grew. 

"I have made your beverage of coffee. It is on table." Kal rose, and the space between them became non-existent. "Because you are clean, we must first do sex-u-al intercourse." 

Lex found Kal's blatant words really hot. His dick sproinged in agreement. It appeared that his wish to at least get laid again was about to be fulfilled. He put his palm flat on Kal's broad chest, which caused Kal to suck in a sharp breath. "I suppose it is our wedding night." 

Kal lifted his hand and hesitated, hovering near Lex's bicep. He licked his lips, breathed out heavily through his nose, and met Lex's gaze. "I request, Lex Kal-El, to lay hands on you, as is my right and is my duty." 

"You've touched me without permission before," Lex indicated with his head towards the other room, "out there." 

"It is permitted only within bonding oath," Kal said. "You must give permission to initiate sex-u-al intercourse and care." 

"Consider permission granted," Lex purred. He slid his palm up Kal's chest, curved around the back of his neck, and brought their bodies flush together. 

Kal's large hands landed on Lex's bare skin without further hesitation. He made a small sound in the back of his throat and then said something with an awestruck voice in his native tongue. Lex could feel trembling, as Kal stroked tentatively over Lex's arms and back. His expression was a mixure of shock and liking. "You are soft." 

"Not everywhere." Lex poked his hardened cock into Kal's thigh. Lifting onto his toes, as Kal was a half-head taller, Lex kissed him. 

Kal's eyes widened and he jerked his head back. "What are you doing?" 

"Kissing you." Lex toyed with the fringe on the nape of Kal's neck. "Don't mates kiss on Krypton?" 

"No." Kal's lips drew downward in the corners. "I have read of 'kiss' during my Human Studies requirement at Academy. It is a sign of human affection." 

"It can be." 

"I do not have affection for you." 

Lex's mouth pursed at the odd pang in his chest. "Humans kiss for sexual reasons, too, but if you just want to fuck, let's get to it." 

Kal ran his hand along Lex's spine. "I do not know what means 'fuck'." 

"It's slang for sex," Lex said, hooking his fingers under Kal's collar and tugging. "Take your clothes off and I'll demonstrate." 

Kal inclined his head as if he were a king granting a boon. "We shall have sex-u-al intercourse now." 

Lex refrained from rolling his eyes and climbed on the bed. The round mattress dipped and conformed to Lex's body, as he sprawled wantonly across it. He'd paint a more sensual picture if the coverlet had color, white washed-out his skin. He pillowed an arm behind his head, as there were no actual pillows, and watched Kal strip. Licking his lips, he slowly stroked his cock as Kal's body was revealed inch by gorgeous inch. 

Strong shoulders curved into bulging biceps and forearms. Nickel-sized chocolate nipples hardened on defined pecs when exposed to the air. Ridges of muscle rippled on a tapered torso with, surprisingly, no navel. David-lines cut sharply from hip to groin. No hair marred all that golden skin, as the jumpsuit was pushed lower and lower. 

Lex almost protested when Kal bent forward to shove the jumpsuit down his legs. Kal's thighs were like corded tree trunks, bumping up to his knees. His rock-hard calf muscles shifted beneath smooth skin, as each foot raised to step out of the clothes. Lex's ass twitched in anticipation at the sight of Kal's huge feet. He focused on the shadowed area of Kal's groin, waiting hungrily for Kal to unbend. With his size, Kal's cock should be- 

Kal straightened. 

-Tiny?! 

Lex gaped unattractively, staring at the itty-bitty thing sticking straight out from Kal's smooth groin. Kal's cock couldn't be three inches long and the width of two fingers- two woman's fingers. He had huge balls swinging down between his legs, his scrotum the size of a softball, quite larger than average and what Lex had been hoping. 

But his cock! Aliens were supposed to be hung! They kidnapped humans to use as sex slaves, raping them in every hole with their massive pricks! Lex had been expecting tentacle porn and all he got was a pencil nub? 

He might actually cry. 

Kal moved onto the bed, crawling from the bottom up between Lex's legs, and blanketed Lex with his body. He bore his weight on his forearms and thrust his hips against Lex's. His tiny cock stabbed at Lex's balls, a wonderous expression on his face. "Now I know why touch is forbidden." 

Fondness tickled Lex's emotions. Kal looked so much like Cletus at the moment, his well-liked pet. It was obvious, too, that Kal was a virgin, and Lex had a soft spot for virgins; he could train them to perform sex tricks exactly as he liked. 

Kal shifted his hips again, breathed heavily, and stared wide-eyed at Lex, a hint of panic in his voice. "We must do sex-u-al intercourse now." 

Lex's mouth curved. The virgin was about to come. He supposed he could let Kal take the edge off with an anal fuck. Kal wouldn't last more than a thrust, and then Lex could start Kal's obedience training. 

"Kneel up," he instructed, pushing lightly at Kal's shoulders. 

Confusion marred Kal's brow. "We must do sex-" 

"-ual intercourse now, I know," Lex finished for Kal. "Trust me. Kneel up." 

Kal's expression became bullish even as he complied. "This is not how I have been taught." 

"I'll stay on my back, stop fretting." Lex lifted his legs and put his ankles on Kal's shoulders. Kal glanced at each foot and then back at Lex. The confused-puppy look returned. 

"Lean over me again," Lex said. 

"Will you not be broken?" 

"No. Trust me." 

Kal looked suspicious but did as told. Lex's back muscles stretched until his knees were up by his ears. Kal braced himself on his hands on either side of Lex's head and legs. 

Craning his neck - Lex wished there were pillows - he spit into a cupped palm and reached between their bodies. He could barely see Kal's puny prick sticking up behind his cock and balls. He was prepared for Kal to shoot the second he touched Kal, but was pleasantly impressed when all Kal did was inhale sharply. 

Kal's rigid cock was very warm in Lex's hand and the wide slit in the tip leaked heavily. Lex swiped the viscous substance with his thumb and rubbed it along Kal's shaft, along with his spit. Kal tremored above him. 

"I'm going to put your cock up my ass now," Lex murmured, guiding Kal forward with a hand on his hip. 

"My what?" Kal said. 

"Your cock." Lex flexed his hand around Kal's shaft. "It's slang for your penis." 

Kal almost conked their heads as he looked down, to see between them. Lex felt the tip of Kal's cock kiss his hole. "You are doing it incorrectly." 

"Who's the virgin here?" Lex said. He relaxed and bore down slightly. "Now, push your penis into me." 

Kal thrust his hips forward abruptly, shoving all the way inside in a single move, but he was so small, Lex barely felt the burn. Lex let his head fall back, adjusted his hips on the bed, and stared up at Kal. He smothered a laugh. Kal's eyes looked ready to pop out of his head. 

"I had forgot that humans had an internal pouch," Kal stated with a strain to his tone. "You are most hot inside. And tight." 

"I can be tighter." Lex squeezed his ass muscles. Kal's eyes rolled into the back of his head. Lex stroked his hands up Kal's straining chest and tweaked his nipples. "All you need to do now is start mooooooooooooooo-" 

Lex's word turned into a bovine howl as Kal's cock flipped a switch to super-vibrate. The tiny cock hammered against his prostate in the absolute perfect spot. Orgasm melted his brain within moments, his body jerking, spitting come on his chest. He clasped his hands behind Kal's neck and held on as another pleasure-wave slammed into him. He would never disparage tiny alien penises again. 

The vibrations went on endlessly. Lex's senses overloaded and he floated on a pink cloud of bliss. His hands lost their hold and his arms flopped above his head. His nose rested against a knee and he drooled from his slackened mouth on the bed. His legs numbed from being by his ears too long. He could no longer even feel Kal's cock whirring away inside him. 

His first indication Kal was done was the tingles shooting up his legs. He rolled his head on the mattress and blinked to moisten his eyeballs. He discovered his legs had unfolded, though his ankles still rested on Kal's shoulders. Kal had knelt up and was playing curiously with Lex's scrotum. 

Lex let his legs fall to the bed and whimpered when the pins and needles increased their torture. Kal glanced up from his fondling. "You are awake." 

"Yeah," Lex croaked, his throat parched from yodeling in pleasure. "What are you doing?" 

"I have recalled your external pouch is decoy for protection, from my seminar on mating with humans." Kal poked Lex's balls, and then wrapped his fingers around Lex's flaccid cock and wiggled it. "Your penis is bigger than I thought it will be." His lips curled on one side in a semblance of a smile. "I do not think you will fit in my pouch." 

"Hn." Lex struggled up to his elbows. He felt like a limp noodle with painful tingles in his legs. "You'd be surprised where I can fit that thing." 

Kal tugged gently at Lex's pubic hair. "You have fur, also." 

"Puberty," Lex said, becoming defensive. "The meteorite shower I was in only killed the exposed follicles on my head. My face being mashed in the ground protected my eyebrows and eyelashes. I'm just lucky I didn't grow chest hair when puberty hit, or I'd really look like a freak." 

"What is 'freak'?" Kal said. 

"It means the same as disfigured." 

Kal waved his hand imperiously. "I have decided you are adequate for my duties." 

Lex's lips twisted wryly. "Gee, thanks." 

Kal unfolded himself, his spent cock dangling like a mini-thumb above his huge sac, and walked off the bed without losing his balance. He picked up his jumpsuit, went over to a door Lex hadn't noticed previously, and thumbed the small iridescent touchpad on the wall. It glowed blue briefly and the door slid silently open. The angle prevented Lex from seeing what was beyond it. Kal walked through opening, the door slid shut, and Lex was left alone. 

"Holy fuck," Lex muttered, dropping flat. He stared at the white ceiling; his mind spinning while his body throbbed in recovery. From little packages do come the best presents. He didn't know if he'd actually survive multiple sexual encounters with Kal. He didn't know how he survived before his sexual encounter with Kal. Humans had nothing on Kryptonian cock. 

Now that he'd gone alien, he was never going back. 

* * *

Lex blinked, disoriented, trying to force his sleep-clouded mind to clear. He must've knocked his pillows on the floor again. He didn't remember going to bed, though he'd been having the wildest dream... 

Lex sat up quickly, wobbled as his head spun briefly, and rubbed his eyes. Three pale gray glowing squares were the only light in the room. His mind supplied their purpose: touchpads the size of a thumb that opened the doors to the bathroom, the living area, and to wherever Kal had gone. Still on Krypton, then. 

Stretching, he scooted to the edge of the round bed, wondering how to find the light switch. He didn't remember turning the light off before falling asleep. He didn't remember seeing any lights, either. Then again, he had been pretty occupied having multiple orgasms. 

Lex's bladder didn't care about the lack of light and insisted it was time to use the bathroom. He stood, squeaked at the coldness of the floor, and put his hands out blindly so as not to stumble into anything. 

The room brightened slowly, like a sunrise hidden within the walls. Lex's eyes adjusted easily and marveled that the walls were the light source. The floor, ceiling, and doors were a dull white in comparison. 

The bathroom hadn't changed since he'd last used it, though he noticed the walls lit automatically when he entered the cramped room. His towel and jumpsuit still lay on the floor. The lack of toilet paper and soap became an issue, but Lex made do. His thoughts wandered as he went through his morning ablutions. He hadn't awoken in a hospital, funny farm, or in his own bed with a hangover, which meant accepting Krypton as his new reality. He shifted his mental gearshaft from questioning the delusion to ways to profit from it. Exploring his surroundings would give him an idea if anything that had money-making or prestige-earning potential. Then, he'd need to learn the native language in order to communicate his wants and broker deals. Finally, he'd have set up a trade route, to bring Kryptonian science and technology to Earth. It had to be a closed trade route, one that he and loyal minions could only use, so the market wouldn't be flooded. 

He smiled and tapped his fingertips together under the shower spray. An excellent plan. One he could execute while still availing himself for sex with Kal and his magical penis. 

Lex grabbed the tapered shower hose, poked it up his ass, and his smile turned dreamy, thinking of Kal's cock. Was it all Kryptonians, or just Kal, that had such an appendage? Lex's ass squeezed around the water-spurting nozzle at the thought of servicing hundreds and hundreds of Kryptonians with their vibrating dicks. He planted a hand on the wall for balance, wrapped the other around his erection, and jacked to the imagery. He'd be on his back on the round bed, knees permanently by his ears, gorgeous men standing in a never-ending line waiting their turn to fuck him. 

"Oh, yeah." Lex's jism spattered on the cubicle wall. 

Eventually, Lex finished his shower, dried off, and kicked the towel into the corner with the other. Jor-El had said that clothing would be provided for him and Lex took it to mean more than one jumpsuit. 

The bedroom held no furnishings other than a bed, but Lex knew there had to be a closet of sorts. Since there had been recessed shelves in the bathroom, he made a thorough examination of the white bedroom walls. He found success with a barely discernable panel the size of his hand on the same wall as Kal's door. Lex put his hand in the center of the faint-lined square and pushed. He grinned when he heard a click and the section of the wall beside him slid open. Genius IQ at work. 

The inset closet wasn't very large. Five shelves held folded jumpsuits in a wide variety of colors and several piles of white elastic sashes. Pretty shift dresses hung from a short bar above a single row of calf-high, soft-soled boots. Jor-El must have been unsure which gender he'd select for Kal's mate when he'd prepared the quarters. 

Lex fiddled with the sashes, pondering what they were for, before choosing a jumpsuit in bright, shiny purple. His flaccid cock made an interesting lump at the crotch. He supposed tiny penises wouldn't show in the form-fitting suit. He did wonder how Kal tucked his nuts in one. 

A click of the panel and the closet door slid shut, blending into the white wall. The attached soft-soled boots of Lex's jumpsuit made little noise on the hard floor as he left the bedroom. The walls of the living area brightened slowly, illuminating the stark whiteness of the grandiose open room. 

Few pieces of furniture broke up the vastness of the room. A curved sofa, made of the same body-conforming material as the bed, sectioned off an area facing the blank wall. Four chairs stood around a long table built from what appeared to be white metal. A cold cup of coffee stood in front of one chair. 

A touchpad button near the table revealed an entire wall of window, the white wall covering sliding up into the ceiling. Outside, Lex had a wonderful view of another skyscraper, its reflective windows exposing nothing. 

Lex craned his neck and peered upwards through the window. He could see a sliver of the pale purple sky. 

Continuing his exploration, Lex found what he determined to be the kitchen area in one corner of the open room. Evenly spaced pop-panels like the one for the closet opened cabinets stacked with sectioned plates, short plastic cups, sporks, various cooking utensils, canned foods, boxed foods, canned beverages, coffee grounds, tea bags, and cold storage cabinet with milk, juice, and cheap-labeled wine in it. Everything was recognizable and labeled in English, which amused Lex. Aliens visited different planets to go grocery shopping? 

Lex shut the cabinets and glanced around. He knew which door led out into the hallway. Beside it, set in the wall, was a control panel with four colored touch buttons. He poked one at random, the red button, and his lips curved when a thin, flat screen descended from the ceiling in front of the curved couch. The screen flared to life. The melodic tones of Kryptonian filled the quarters, as two women seated behind a desk in what looked like a newsroom appeared on screen. Kryptonian TV. 

Amused, Lex turned the television off and watched it ascended into the ceiling again. He played with the other buttons. The yellow button didn't seem to do anything. The blue button opened the door into the hall. The green made the door itself dissolve, so he could see out into the hall. Tentatively, he reached through the doorway and his hand smacked on invisible metal. It was a very fancy peephole. Lex was impressed. 

The rest of the room was nothing but white open space. Two doors with thumbpad buttons divided the remaining wall. The one closest to the kitchen area held another long table, with a cushiony surface, pushed against the far wall, with twelve evenly spaced hoses dangling from the ceiling above it. The hoses had soft, tapered nozzles that didn't seem to do anything. He'd ask Kal later. 

The second door revealed a smaller version of the medical bay from the cave. Lex's brows shot up. Metal table, dangling equipment, and walls of buttons, screens and panels, it was all there. He didn't know whether to feel dread or excitement. 

Leaving the room, Lex adjusted his semi hard-on and perched his hands on his hips. He hadn't seen anything resembling a computer or books. He'd checked the walls for other hidden panels but found none. He'd thought Jor-El had said the quarters would be human-compatible. Wouldn't that include English-Kryptonian dictionaries or travel guides? 

"You have need of me, Lex?" Kal appeared from the doorway to the bedroom, dressed in a red jumpsuit with black slashes across the chest. His hair was tussled and red lines creased his face. He looked like he'd just woken up. 

"How did you know?" Lex said. Did Kryptonians have mind-reading capabilities? 

"You summoned me," Kal replied, walking over to him. He pointed towards the panel beside the front door. "You pressed yellow button; it chimes in my quarters." 

"I guess I did, then." Lex filed the button information away. "Do you have some sort of guidebook for humans about Krypton? I'd like to learn more about my new home." 

Kal inclined his head. "It is in my quarters. I shall return." 

Kal headed for the bedroom. Lex followed. Kal opened the door by the closet and stepped through with Lex at his heels. The door led to a bedroom identical to Lex's, which led out into a grandiose living area in a lovely shade of white. The quarters looked more lived in, however, than Lex's own. Several flat screens, each the size of a piece of paper, littered the table. What could only be a very thin laptop, with flat monitor and touch keyboard, fitted in an empty spot on the table in front of a pushed-back chair. Colorful jumpsuits, some folded, some in a pile, sat on the curved white couch. The descended television flickered with a picture but no sound. One of the kitchen area cabinets stood open. 

Kal went over to the couch and unearthed another thin laptop from beneath the mountain of unfolded clothing. He handed it to Lex. "This is your booklet. Do not lose it. Translation programming is costing." 

"Costly," Lex corrected absently, studying the 'booklet' in his hands. It was very light and possibly made of the same silver alloy of the octagonal disk. It opened without any latches, exposing a flat monitor and touch keyboard with keys marked with English letters and Kryptonian symbols. There seemed to be no power button or ports. "How long does the battery last?" 

"It is powered by array." Kal pointed towards the ceiling. "The array powers all things on Krypton." 

Satellite power, Lex guessed in translation. "Does it come with a map?" 

"It can access any map on feed," Kal said. "Do you desire to be at specific location?" 

"No. I thought I'd go exploring," Lex said, closing the booklet. He'd take it back to his own quarters to play around with it. He hated when people looked over his shoulder. 

Kal inclined his head again. "Kandor is a city of intellect and splendor." 

"So the brochure said." Lex started back to his own quarters. 

"I shall clean my body and be in for your care in ten dendaro." 

Lex's cock surged and his ass twitched. "I'll be waiting." 

* * *

Lex sat on his bed, one leg bent, the other stretched out to the side. The booklet lay open in front of him. He'd figured he had about ten minutes of waiting before Kal came to fuck him and being idle wasn't his strong suit. 

The booklet was an advanced computer, Lex found, as his fingertips typed on the touch-keys. Lex knew little about computers except for how to use them. He could care less about programming and other nerdy things. Typing, clicking, and having the information appear instantly were all he cared about, and if his computer broke, or crashed, or whatever it was called, he simply phoned someone to fix it immediately. 

He could hazard a guess, though, on how the translation program worked on the booklet. He typed in a word and an internal language dictionary translated it from English to Kryptonian. The English letters most likely matched the Kryptonian symbols on the touch keys, giving Lex an alphabetic reference. That didn't mean the letter combination M-A-P in English had any meaning in Kryptonian. Like in any language, the words for things were different. A dog was a canis was a perro was a chien was a hund. 

Playing around, it seemed that there were no base programs on the booklet, like word processors or email. The booklet turned on automatically, or, possibly, could always be on, when Lex unfolded it. The flat screen displayed a blank dark green page with a white box in the upper corner. When Lex started typing, words appeared in the white box. He couldn't find an enter key, but trial and error - and smacking the screen in frustration -caused an abundance of names to appear on the monitor. 

It didn't take Lex's genius IQ long to understand the monitor was touch sensitive, as well. His pointer finger became the computer mouse, touch-clicking on links with instant results. The white box was the search engine and typing a new word, then touching the screen, changed the listing of links. 

Lex learned quickly that pornography had no Kryptonian translation, the monetary unit was the za, and pictures were three-dimensional and the angled viewpoint of them could change with a touch. An image of three guys in front of what looked to be a waterfall of fire could be viewed straight on, looking down at the guys' heads from above, from behind the waterfall of fire, or looking up their noses. The English translation of whatever link he clicked was also very literal, which made for amusing reading. Articles and prepositions disappeared, verbs weren't in the correct tenses, and adjectives and adverbs appeared misplaced. 

Lex glanced up as Kal entered silently through the connecting door. Kal wore the same red jumpsuit with black stripes, and his hair curled wetly over his forehead and around his ears. He held one of the sheet-screens Lex had seen on the table. He didn't say anything or stop as he walked through Lex's bedroom to the living area. 

Lex's wait for sex was to continue, apparently. His attention returned to the booklet. The maps he'd drawn up gave detailed information, but couldn't say what might be profitable. He'd have to determine that by sight, first hand. 

The maps also couldn't show him where he was now living, at least without an address. Lex typed "directory" into the search engine. A few trial-and-error touches and he located a residence listing. He touched the letter "E" and forwarded the screen pages until he found the correct information. 

There was a hell of a lot of Els in the directory. Jor-El was the first he recognized, topping the list of "J" first names, with Lara's name in parenthesis beside his name, followed by what Lex interpreted as their address. Kal's name was listed as the first "K" name, and Lex did a double take when he saw his own first name in parenthesis beside it. He also saw Klyd - Cletus' Kryptonian name, Lex recalled - listed after Kal's, with the notation to "see Kent." A list of K-beginning names followed, the ones nearer to the top with notations similar to Klyd's, and the rest listing an address of "Academy." 

Lex got a notion, screened to the "L" listings, and found his name again. Luth-Or, Lex: see El, Kal. The directory listed all names, but grouped addresses by married names, he determined. Or by adoptive names, in Cletus's case. A few touches pulled up Kent, Cletus (El, Klyd), Earth, United States, Kansas, Smallville, Hickory Lane, 1414. 

Lex went back to Kal-El's listing and memorized their address. Kandor, Rulun, 148, F/P. He knew they were on the 148th floor, which meant that F/P must be their quarters. Perhaps Rulun was the name of the building. 

"Lex, breakfast is prepared." 

Lex looked up to see Kal walking away from the bedroom door. He picked up his booklet and headed into the living area. "Is the name of this building Rulun?" 

"It is," Kal said. He stood by a place setting at the table. Lex's brows arched at the spread. It looked like an advertisement for a cereal company. A bowl filled with brown flakes topped with fruit slices sat in the center of a white woven place mat. A plate of toast with pats of butter was set to the upper corner of the placemat, with short glasses of orange juice, milk, and coffee in the other. A spork rested on a folded white napkin beside the bowl. 

"You fixed this for me?" Lex said, sitting in the proffered chair. He set his booklet beside the placemat. 

"Humans require three eatings a day." Kal picked up the sheet-screen and read from it. "These are called 'breakfast', 'lunch', and 'dinner' and are at timed intervals. Breakfast is morning eating and highest importance." 

"They're called 'meals', and I usually don't eat breakfast." Lex nodded with his chin towards the sheet-screen. "What is that?" 

"It is receptacle for my Academy notes." Kal frowned at him. "You must eat your breakfast meals. Breakfast meals is highest importance." 

"My stomach isn't awake yet." Lex picked up the coffee and took a sip. It was black, strong, and hot. Not an imported roast, but he could still feel the caffeine zing through his veins. 

Kal continued to frown. "You will be sick if you do not eat." 

"Not just because I skipped breakfast," Lex said. "Besides, I don't see you having anything to eat, either." 

"Kryptonians eat one meals," Kal said, "at wolu three." 

"Meal is singular, meals is plural." Lex toed the chair catty-corner to his, in invitation. "'Wolu three', I'd guess, is a time reference. Sit." 

Kal sat, laying the sheet-screen in front of him on the table. "Did you not prepare for mating with Kryptonian?" 

"I didn't know Krypton existed until your parents showed up." Lex waved an encompassing hand. "Everything is new to me." 

"I shall care for you, as is my right and my duty," Kal said. "It is not required that you take Kryptonian Studies at your Earth Academy to be my mate." 

"I'd still like to learn everything I can about Krypton." So I can exploit it. 

"The booklet shall provide information," Kal said. "You may inquire to me, also." 

"How much longer do I have to wait for you to fuck me?" 

Kal's confused-puppy look made a brief return. He picked up his sheet-screen and poked at it with his fingertip. His eyes skimmed whatever was on the display. "I must examine your pouch." 

Hell, yeah. Lex set down his coffee. "Anytime." 

Kal rose and crossed the living area to the door that led to the medical bay. Lex rubbed his crotch and almost slammed into Kal's back in his rush to follow. 

A glow lit the walls when the entered the room. Kal began pushing buttons on the control panel. A low hum sounded and a flat screen emerged from the panel. "Remove your clothing and lay on table." 

Lex was naked and on his back before the words left Kal's mouth. 

Kal took the screen, which was a little larger than the sheet-screen he'd left on the table, and carried it over to Lex. He looked at Lex's crotch and frowned. "I must have access to your internal pouch." 

Lex wasted no time in turning over and rising to his knees. He pillowed his forehead in his hands, his elbows resting on the metal table. "How's this?" 

The screen made a soft, hollow clank when Kal set it on the table. His hands parted Lex's asscheeks, let go, parted them, and let go. "You do not stay open." 

Lex's erection pulsed and he swallowed a moan. He shifted his head to rest on the metal table, reached back, and opened his asscheeks with both hands. "Better?" 

"Yes." 

Lex closed his eyes and remembered Jor-El and Lara's examination. He thanked the powers that be for gifting him with a kinky alien family. 

Anticipation tightened balls. He heard Kal breathing and the tap of his finger on the wall control panel. The zip of a cord from the ceiling caused his sphincter to spasm. He sucked in a slow breath when Kal pressed his thumb beneath Lex's asshole and squeaked at the cold kiss of metal to the wrinkled opening. 

Forcing himself to relax and bear down, Lex's fingernails dug into the flesh of his asscheeks as what felt like a metal rod was pushed inside him without lube. His mouth parted and he exhaled audibly when the rod started widening. "What are you doing?" 

"Opening your pouch so I may see inside it." 

Lex's cock jumped and slapped against his abdomen. His neck dampened with sweat. His anus stretched slowly wider and wider, until it felt like a whole fist would fit inside. A giant's fist. He was open wide and utterly exposed. He might come just from this. 

The zip of another hose from the collection of equipment dangling from the ceiling, and Lex felt the tip of something rub along the inner lining of his anus. He bit his lower lip, pushing air out through his teeth, as whatever it was pushed past his inner sphincter. 

Kal muttered something in Kryptonian. Another cord zipped as it was pulled and something else when in Lex's ass. Lex opened his eyes and looked under his body, down towards Kal. The screen lay flat on the table between Lex's calves. Kal stood at the foot of the table, leaning forward, his elbows moving in Lex's line of sight. Gravity curved Lex's cock towards the table, precome beaded on the ruby-colored tip. 

"We must do sex-u-al intercourse again," Kal said finally. "I will first prepare your pouch as the human mating guide instructs." 

"Whatever you want." Lex cheered inwardly. A kinky exam and a fuck. It was good to be him. 

Two cords retracted, another one was selected and inserted in his ass. The tip poked past his inner sphincter and, after a few seconds, something swelling deep in his ass. Lex closed his eyes, rolled his head on the metal surface, and moaned shamelessly. His arms strained to continue unnecessarily holding his asscheeks. It felt like an anal bead, the large, heavy-player kind. 

The instrument retreated, Kal's fingers slipped inside, and Lex was treated to a thorough anal massage. He wasn't above begging when Kal rubbed his prostate to the point of orgasm. "Fuck me. Fuck me now. Fuck, please, Kal. Now." 

Kal pulled out his fingers. "We shall move to the bedroom." 

"No, here. Now." Lex's hole felt stretched open still, even as Kal released the separator. 

"I cannot place my penis in your pouch with you on table," Kal said. 

Lex slithered down over the foot of the table, knocking the screen to the floor. His hands still held his asscheeks apart. "We'll do it like this. It's a common human position. Now, stick your cock in and fuck me already." 

He heard shifting behind him and craned his neck to see Kal removing his jumpsuit. He dropped his head to the metal surface with a hollow clang when Kal moved into position. Kal's hips pressed against Lex's hands as he bent forward, warm, heavy body blanketing Lex. His breath was hot against the curve of Lex's scalp. 

Lex didn't even know Kal's cock was inside him until the vibrating started. "FUCK!" he exclaimed loudly and humped against the table. A roar sounded in his ears, as his climax ripped from his toes and spurted out his cock on the metal surface. 

He was lost after that, vibrated into nirvana. Consciousness didn't so much desert him as drift away into fields of soft grass, dancing under a swirling sky of pink and purple. 

Kal was massaging his ass when reality invaded once more. Lex's arms dangled over the sides of the table. His face stuck to the metal. He slurped his drool and moaned happily as he moved. His body ached wonderfully. 

"I will examine you again tomorrow," Kal said, circling Lex's asshole with a thumb. 

"Hn." Lex crossed his arms and pillowed his cheek on them. "I'll be here." 

A soft chime sounded through the open door behind them. "It is wolu one. I must prepare for employing," Kal said. 

"Employment," Lex corrected lethargically. "Or for work. Go ahead." 

"You do not require further care?" 

"'mgud," he slurred, debating whether to move or nap right where he stood. He watched through heavy-lidded eyes as Kal picked up the screen, put it away, and shut down the control panel on the wall. 

"If you require care, press yellow button," Kal said. "I shall be wearing my mate chime." 

"Got it." 

Kal picked up his jumpsuit and strode nakedly from the medical room. Lex took a deep breath, straightened, and winced. His ass was seriously sore and the change in position told him the anal bead was still in him. 

He smiled to himself, scooped up his discarded jumpsuit, and headed for the bathroom to wash the dried semen off his belly. The anal bead could stay in place until tomorrow's exam. 

* * *

Kandor was, indeed, a city of intellect and splendor - to make up for the blandness of its people. 

Lex sat on a body-conforming bench in an enclosed atrium at the top of a skyscraper. The glass refracted the sun, allowing light to pass through without becoming blinding or hot. A sea of skyscrapers of equal height spread in every direction visible from the atrium. The even spacing between them created a chessboard effect, from Lex's viewpoint. A single tower, thinner and hundreds of feet taller than the skyscrapers, rose in the center of the city. It was the array, a solar battery that powered everything and acted as a transmitter in Kandor. 

The skyscrapers, Lex had learned on his self-guided tour of Kandor, were identical in structure and served either residential or technological purposes. Green spaces, like the atrium, were only located inside. Locked doors kept Lex out of certain places, otherwise he was free to travel anywhere in the city. No one stopped to question him, or looked at him sideways, or paid any attention to him at all. 

He hated being ignored. 

Lex shifted with an ache in his bottom, laid his head back on the bench seat, and gazed through the glass ceiling at the clear purple sky. The sun descended slowly in the distance, dipping behind the buildings. He'd been out all day, found a multitude of prospective profitable items and technologies, and had not spoken with a single soul. Certainly, the language barrier would've presented a problem, but no one even attempted to speak with him. No matter where he'd gone, it was as if he didn't exist. 

Then again, no one seemed to talk to one another at all, except at lunchtime. Silence prevailed in the buildings he'd visited and on the li-aronom. The Hub and the Science Council skyscrapers were the only two places he'd stopped where he heard the musical tones of Kryptonian conversation. People in shared laboratories or office-like settings worked individually, from what Lex had observed, and said not a word to each other. Kryptonians didn't greet each other in the halls, upon entering an occupied room, or at service counters in the six clothing stores Lex perused. (Jumpsuits and shift dresses appeared to be the only styles of clothing, but in every color imaginable.) 

The lack of interaction was off-putting to Lex. He'd grown up with his father booming in one ear and hearing gossip with the other. Metropolis hummed with noise. Even the most sterile and staid work environment whispered with background voices. Humans could and would talk about anything and everything and things better left unsaid. 

The silence of Kandor made it really sink in that Lex wasn't in Kansas anymore. 

Lex's stomach rumbled. Although there'd been a cafeteria-type level in every building, he had no za to pay for food. The cafeterias seemed to be closed, anyway, except for what Lex guessed was wolu three, a stretch of that time had passed in the afternoon when he'd found every other level creepily empty. 

That's when he'd stumbled upon people finally talking to one another. Packed rows of tables and chairs made up the cafeteria he'd peered into during lunch. The steady thrum of lilting voices had been a relief to hear. It hadn't explained why everyone was so silent during the rest of the day, but it had made Lex feel less like he was in the Twilight Zone. 

Rising from the bench, Lex made a face of discomfort. It had been a while since he'd played the heavier sex games with insertion objects. The anal bead had gotten bothersome partway through the day. He might have to ask that his exam be moved up to tonight; tomorrow seemed like a long time to wait. 

Lex picked up his booklet and took the elevator down to the platform level. He was getting acclimated to the fast elevator rides that stole his knees and shifted his stomach to his throat. Above the platform doors, he checked the red circular light flush in the wall. It was lit, indicating the arrival of a li-aronom craft. He thumbed the button that slid open the platform doors, stepped over the lip that had taken him only seventeen times to remember was in every doorway (his toes thanked him), and got right onto the craft after it came to a stop with minimal freezing of his balls. 

The Kryptonians on the craft sat with perfect posture and with equal space between them on the shared bench seats. They were a very pretty species, Lex mused. Their faces had aristocratic lines in the jaw, cheeks, and nose. Straight dark brown and black hair adorned their heads in various lengths. No one was overly obese or short in stature. The women didn't have curves, but their breasts were perky and made Lex thirsty for milk. He'd have to suckle a few, soon. 

Pondering the etiquette for getting into an alien woman's jumpsuit, Lex debarked the li-aronom at Rulun and rode the elevator to the 148th level. Joe-El had said touch was forbidden by anyone other than a mate or the Enforcers on Krypton, but Lex didn't buy it. Touch was supposedly forbidden for married people outside of their own spouses on Earth and yet adultery was the nation's pastime. Add that to the fact that he was Lex Luthor and it wouldn't take long for him to be crying "Mama!" 

Kal rose fluidly from his seat on the white couch when Lex entered the quarters. His dark expression pinned Lex just inside the doorway. "You have left without permission." 

"Right." Lex strolled across the spacious room and set his booklet on the table. Turning around, he leaned casually against the edge of the table, with one ankle crossed over the other. "I'll say this once: Kryptonian culture or not, I go where I want, when I want, and with who I want. If you don't agree, I'm on a one-way trip back to Earth." 

Kal puffed his chest. "You have no restriction upon my approval. In morning, you said you desired exploring of Kandor, yet you did not request permission to go." 

Lex pushed off the table. "Goodbye, then." He picked up the booklet and headed for the door. 

Kal grabbed him by the scruff of the neck before he was halfway there. "You may not leave." 

"Fuck you." Lex dug his nails into the back of the hand clamped onto him. Kal had a very strong grip. "Let go of me." 

"I shall not." Kal frog-marched Lex over to the sofa, grabbed the booklet from him, and tossed it on the cushioned seat. Lex twisted and drove an elbow back into Kal's gut. It was like elbowing a brick wall. 

Kal grunted, but didn't let go. "You must be punished. Remove your clothing." 

Lex's struggle paused. His punishment involved nudity? 

"I am waiting, Lex," Kal said, tightening his fingers around Lex's neck. "Remove your clothing." 

"What does my punishment entail?" Lex said. 

"You will be swatted." 

Swatted? Nudity plus swatting undoubtedly equaled Lex's ass becoming cherry red. His muscles clenched, reminding him of the bead. 

He was in pervert heaven. 

Lex pulled at the collar of his shiny purple jumpsuit. He didn't have to leave Krypton to prove his point. Spanking him wouldn't deter him from going wherever he wanted when he wanted. Nothing would change no matter how often Kal punished him, even if he spanked Lex again and again and again. 

Lex stepped out of the jumpsuit, his hard-on tickling the back of the curved couch. Was Kal going to shove him over the seatback and wallop him? Or would he take Lex over his knee like a recalcitrant child? 

Kal forced him to walk around the bend of the couch and released his neck. "Sit." 

Confused, Lex turned around and sat slowly. Maybe Kal needed to get a paddle, or a belt. 

Kal didn't leave the room, however. Instead, he picked up Lex's left foot and... spanked it? 

Five sharp slaps with the broad of Kal's palm landed on the top of Lex's foot. He then set the foot down, picked up Lex's right one, and smacked it five times. 

That was it? That was being swatted? No firm hand disciplining his naughty bottom? 

"You shall not leave without permission." Kal put Lex's right foot down and wagged a finger at him. "I return to care for you at wolu three and find you gone. I return to care for you at wolu five and you are gone still. I did not know where you go. I am thinking something bad befalled you." 

"I'm... sorry?" Lex looked up at Kal, seeing his stiff expression. Kal had been worried about him? 

"You will be swatted if you go without permission again." Kal gave him a stern look and strode away from the couch. "I shall prepare your dinner meal." 

Lex's forehead wrinkled and he lowered his gaze to his feet. The tops were pink and stung a little. He poked one foot with a toe from the other and the nip of pain made his cock jump. Not what he expected, but anything could develop into a kink. 

Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Kal popping open cabinets. It didn't appear that a punishment fuck was on the menu, though. With a sigh, he stood and headed for his bedroom, hard-on bouncing with his steps. He'd jack off for now and, later, seduce Kal into make-up sex. 

And perhaps next time he'd leave a note before he went out. 

* * *

Kal sat beside him, watching him like a hawk, as Lex ate dinner. One of the empty cabinets in the kitchen area had actually been an alien microwave of sorts, and after whacking off, washing up, and redressing, Lex had been presented with a full meal of cut chicken breast, hot mixed vegetables, mashed potatoes with butter, and a choice of drink between water, milk, and red wine. It was delicious. 

"Are you going to feed me like this for every meal?" Lex asked, scooping vegetables with his mashed potato-laden spork. 

Kal dipped his head. "It is required for your health." 

Lex was used to having meals served to him, so he didn't have a problem with being waited on. "I'll have to tell you my favorite foods. I only want coffee for breakfast, though." 

"I shall make note," Kal said. 

"May I ask where you got the human food? Is there an Earth grocery store around here?" Lex had peculiar tastes that standard grocers didn't normally stock. 

"I have acquired a buyer with off-world authorization." 

Lex took that to mean food was imported from Earth. "Can this buyer get anything, or only food? If I'm going to live here, I'm going to need a few things." 

Kal frowned. "This is the quarters assigned to my mate. You may not reside elsewhere." 

"I didn't mean literally. It's a manner of speech," Lex said. "I was prefacing my request with the reason for it." 

Lex could practically hear Kal's mind clicking as he processed Lex's meaning. "You require Earth items other than food for your care." 

"Yes, like deodorant, soap, a robe, comic books, those sorts of things. If you give me paper and a pen, I'll write everything down for you." 

"I shall provide you with a brin-is after you have finished your meal." 

Kal lapsed into silence, watching him intently once more. Lex didn't like it much. The quiet wouldn't matter if Kal were eating, too, but his simply sitting there and staring was unnerving. He felt like an exhibit at the zoo. 

"Are all Kryptonians fascinated by human digestion, or is it just you?" Lex said finally. 

Kal appeared confused. "I am one of ten-seven that has a human mate. You are costly to care for and few Kryptonians can afford such exotic species." 

Exotic and expensive did describe Lex. And apparently, he'd married someone rich, on top of his having the greatest penis ever. Lex didn't do too badly for himself the second go-around. 

Lex sipped his wine, a cheap red, but drinkable. He'd request a better vintage for the next time. "I take it Kryptonians normally mate with other Kryptonians?" 

"There are other off-world species fathers may choose." Kal sneered slightly. "It is sign of prestige for fathers without thought for whether or not heirs desire such a mate." 

"Arranged marriages are always a bitch," Lex said. "History is full of marriages that were made for reasons of money or power. Neither of the married party was necessarily happy, but they learned to form mutually beneficial agreements to advance their own status and wealth." 

"You speak with some words I do not know meanings," Kal said. 

"It boils down to: if you're forced to be married, make the best of it." Lex put aside his wine glass. "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. I have several projects I'd like to start and could use your assistance. In return, I'll do whatever you need me to do." 

"You are host. It is all for which I require a mate," Kal said. 

"That's fine. I can do parties," Lex said with a shrug. "Let me know if you need me for anything else. Now, about my projects..." 

* * *

Lex had a plan. He also had an aching pooper. 

Scratching his balls, he stared groggily towards the ceiling in the dark bedroom. He and Kal had stayed up late, or so it felt like to Lex, developing a plan for the various projects Lex wanted to accomplish. Kal hadn't found any of his requests ridiculous, illegal, or violated some Trekian prime directive; in fact, he seemed proud that Lex desired to make a name for himself. 

Rolling onto his belly, Lex folded his arms beneath his head and humped his morning hard-on into the soft bedding. The temperature of the bedroom adjusted automatically to his comfort, allowing him to sleep nude and without covers. The corners of his eyes tightened when he felt the bead shift inside him. He'd been so wrapped up in planning for the glorification of his name he'd forgotten to have Kal remove the sex toy before bed. 

The room lit slowly and Lex squinted over his shoulder as Kal entered through the connecting door. "Morning," he said with sleep-roughened tones. "What time is it?" 

"It is nearing wolu two." Kal was wearing a dark blue jumpsuit today, his damp hair curling on his head. Lavender circles shaded under his eyes from staying up so late. "I must prepare your coffee and examine your pouch quickly. I cannot be late for work. It will be a mark against my name." 

"Make the coffee while I piss." Lex climbed out of bed and stretched. "I'll meet you in the medical bay." 

Kal dipped his head and thumbed the button to the living area. In the bathroom, Lex splashed his face with water, brushed his teeth, and relieved his bladder. Rubbing his hand against his lower back, his bare feet slapped softly on the tile-like floor as he made his way across the great room to the medical bay. 

Kal stood in front of the control panel, pushing buttons. A sheet-screen came out of the wall. Lex climbed onto the metal table without prompting, settling on his forearms and knees. "I'm glad you remembered. Kinky as it is, I don't want the anal bead in me for another full day." 

"I shall decide if it may be removed." 

A thread of arousal slithered up his cock. "Maybe you could remove it long enough only for me to use the toilet." 

Kal moved behind him, set the sheet-screen on the table between his feet, and reached for a dangling instrument hanging from the ceiling. "Open your buttocks." 

Lex swallowed a moan at the order, shifted onto his forehead, and stretched his arms back to part his asscheeks. He tightened with a whispered curse at the cold instrument that touched his hole. Kal started pushing it in, and Lex exhaled sharply and bore down. The insertion of the instrument burned without lube and then stretched him open wide. Lex loved it. 

His eyelids fluttered when he heard the zip of a cord and a thin rod pressed against the inner wall of his anus. Another cord was pulled and Lex breathed out a curse as his prostate was poked with something. "Fuck. That feels so good." 

"You are not in pain?" Kal asked, poking him some more. 

"God, no," Lex groaned, his erection thwapping his abdomen in excitement. He brought one hand under his body and groped himself. "You can do that some more." 

But Kal stopped poking him and two cords retreated. Lex heard another descend and did not despair. 

Another rod slid along his inner walls, deeper than the prior two, and Lex clenched in anticipation around the spreader holding him open. The anal bead shifted. Lex stroked his cock, gripping his flesh tighter with his fingers. 

The pop startled him and he slapped his hand onto the table as his body jerked, but the sudden release of pressure was like an orgasm unto itself. Lex's eyes rolled up and he bit down on his lower lip with a grunt. The slide of the other instruments being removed gave him a shit-shiver. He could, possibly, get into scat if it always felt that way. 

"I must depart for work," Kal said abruptly. 

"Wait." Lex pushed upright and turned on his knees. "That's it?" 

Kal looked at him blankly. "Work begins at wolu two. I must not be late." 

Lex's cock throbbed in disappointment. "I suppose I can wait." 

"I will return at wolu three to prepare your lunch meal," Kal said, turning on his heel. "Your coffee is on the table." 

"I'm going out." Lex climbed off the table and followed him into the main room. The door to the medical bay slid closed behind him and he heard the faint sound of a vaporizer from behind it, like the one in his toilet. Sanitizing the room, he guessed. 

"Are you requesting permission?" 

"No." 

Kal stopped walking and faced Lex with a sharp look. Lex lifted his chin. "I will not ask your permission to go anywhere. I am not a slave or a child. I will, however, compromise and tell you if I'm going out, or leave you a note if you're not home." 

"I do not like this compromise," Kal said. 

"Tough shit." Lex would probably be more threatening if he wasn't naked and sporting a hard-on. "Making the best of this marriage includes my being unrestricted." 

Kal stared narrowly at Lex a moment. "You must return at wolu three and wolu five for your feeding." 

"I'll try and be here at wolu three and five to eat," Lex said. "I won't guarantee it." 

"All working stops at wolu three. You will have no work at that time. You will return for your feeding," Kal said, bullish. 

Lex pursed his lips, weighed his options, and figured he wouldn't get anything done at wolu three anyway, with everything being closed for lunch. "Deal. I'll see you back here at wolu three." 

Kal inclined his head, pivoted on his heel, and strode out of the room. Lex didn't know whether it was a victory or defeat. 

He chose to count it as a nooner. 

* * *

Gentle chimes rang at the change of the wolu. Ten wolu made up a standard day, which Lex calculated to equal roughly twenty-five and a half hours long. Wolu one started the day at about seven in the morning with the sun setting near wolu six, or ten p.m., when all good Kryptonians went to bed. 

Lex rode the li-aronom back to Rulun a little after wolu five. The skyscrapers whizzed past the filtered window of the craft. He'd spent the day revisiting the primary buildings that housed the items he planned to export, making sure they were worth the effort of the legal hoop-jumping he'd have to do. The Kryptonian metal, which was actually more like indestructible plastic, that made up both the buildings and the windows would be his start, followed by the solar panels made from the metal and a gel-like substance that was charged by the sun. Eventually, he wanted to get the plans for the array and build one on Earth, but the metal and solar panels were needed first. 

Lex's next step in his plans for greatness was a crash-course in Kryptonian language. It would be difficult to broker deals and gain off-world authorization if he couldn't communicate. Normally, picking up the language wouldn't be a problem. Lex had a genius IQ and a rich father; he'd spent summers and other school holidays in a different foreign country every year and knew that, once the basics were memorized out of a textbook, hearing the language and attempting to speak it on a daily basis was the quickest way to learn. 

Too bad Kryptonians didn't speak to one another outside of lunch. 

"I'm back," Lex said unnecessarily, as he entered his quarters. He saw that dinner was on the table already and ignored the annoyed look Kal gave him. He put his booklet and brin-iso - what the sheet-screens were called - on the couch and went to wash his hands before eating. 

Lex had returned, like a good little wife, for lunch at wolu three and ate his fill of soup and sandwiches. He hadn't gotten the nooner he'd hoped for, but he had gotten to try Kryptonian cuisine, which more than made up for it. What had appeared to be gruel and rice cakes made his tastebuds orgasm with every bite. He would happily eat it at every meal, but Kal had informed him there were not enough nutrients necessary for humans in the Kryptonian food. 

Lex grinned when he saw Kal had garnished his steak dinner with a Kryptonian rice cake, called akeice. He sat down, took a bit of the akeice, and moaned as his mouth exploded with delight. "These are delicious." 

"You must eat your human meal, too, Lex Kal-El," Kal said sternly. 

Lex refrained from rolling his eyes. He took another bite of the akeice, whimpered softly, and set it aside for dessert. Kal watched him like a hawk again, as he speared his pre-cut prime rib. He knew if he didn't start a conversation, Kal would remain silent throughout the meal. After another day of nothing but silence, he wanted to know why. 

"Tell me, Kal," Lex said between mouthfuls, "is it a taboo for people to talk to one another?" 

Confusion appeared on Kal's face. "How do you mean?" 

"Everywhere I went today, no one spoke to anyone else, except at lunch." 

"What would they speak about outside of lunch meal?" Kal said. 

"I don't know. Anything. Conversations about work, about the weather, or their children," Lex said. "The constant silence is unnerving." 

"Conversations are a distracted from work," Kal said. "It is forbidden to speak outside of specified areas." 

"What specified areas?" Lex said, surprised to find that it was a taboo, like touching. 

"You may speak in quarters, in cafeteria, at Academy, at Supreme Council, at Science Council, at Hub, and in designated speaking rooms," Kal listed. "You must also speak to Enforcers if questioned." 

Designated speaking rooms? Were those like smoking rooms at airports? Lex found it oddly fascinating. "What about talking to the people you work with? Don't you share information? Have meetings?" 

"All work is individual." 

Lex pointed his spork at Kal. "You have a boss, though. Don't you need to communicate with him?" 

"What is meaning of 'boss'?" Kal said. 

"A boss is the person you work for." 

"All work is individual." 

"Maybe I'm missing something in the translation," Lex said. "You said this morning that you couldn't be late for work." 

"Correct." 

"That would imply that you have a boss." 

"All work is individual," Kal repeated. "There is no boss." 

"Then, how could you get a black mark against your name if you're not accountable to anyone?" 

"I must display dedication to my work or it will be a mark against me when I present my name to the Science Council." 

Lex was intrigued. "The same Science Council I'm supposed to present my business plans to once they've become successful?" 

Kal inclined his head. 

The Science Council, Kal had explained last night, was like an awards committee from what Lex understood. They judged contributions towards the benefits of Krypton and bestowed prestige on a person. "A Kryptonian's name is important to them, huh?" Lex said. 

"It is most important," Kal declared. "Without approval of Science Council, your name shall not be recorded in historical archives." 

Lex knew that to be true on his own planet. Millions of people were born, lived, and died without anyone remembering their contributions to the world, unless they'd achieved notoriety or fame. No wonder Kal had seemed proud that he wanted to make something of his own name. "So, people are silent because they're always working towards getting their names in the history books." 

"It is so," Kal said. 

"What about your Enforcers or other menial laborers?" Lex asked. "They won't get their names in the history books." 

Kal waved his hand dismissively, a derisive curl to his lip. "They are resopo who chose to make nothing of their names." 

Lex tapped his spork on the side of his plate, thinking about what Kal said. If most everyone was working to get their names in the books, it was either moderately easy to get listed or Kryptonian society had a really strong work ethic. People would give up if it was too hard to attain approval by the Science Council and, by the same token, people would spend all their time goofing off if they knew something as easy as cutting a snowflake out of a piece of paper would get them listed. That meant it was probably the work ethic of the society to be so driven. What seemed odd to him was normal for a Kryptonian. He had to remember not to compare their actions to human standards. 

"You know my plans to get my name in the books," Lex said, polishing off the last piece of steak. "What work do you do?" 

Kal puffed his chest. "I measure and predict meteorological activity and inform Kandor of it on live broadcast feed at wolu four." He motioned towards the upraised television screen. 

Lex stared at him. "You report these conditions on television?" 

Kal dipped his head, practically beaming with pride. 

Lex picked up the akeice and took a large bite. The orgasmic taste helped make up for the fact that he'd married the local weatherman. 

* * *

Lex strode with determination - Luthors never hurried - through Kal's quarters to the kitchen area. He popped cabinets with a glance towards the bedroom. Kal was making lunch on Lex's side and Lex had taken advantage of the distraction, and the rarely unlocked connecting door, to sneak in and pilfer food. 

How had Lex lived before akeice? 

He found three stacked rows, one behind the other, of akeice, recognizing the Kryptonian label from the box he'd made Kal give him the night before, in case he wanted a midnight snack. Lex moved the first row to the floor, then the second, and shifted the third row closer to the front. He put the first row back again, with its open box on the top, closed the cabinets, and strode with determination - and his five boxes of akeice - back to his quarters. 

The boxes went in the closet, hidden behind the soft-soled boots. He didn't plan to share. 

Lex sauntered into the living area and took a seat at the table. Kal had brought his own lunch over from his quarters, that gruel stuff and three cakes of akeice. Lex swiped one of the cakes and shivered with every bite. 

Kal gave him a bemused look as he set Lex's plate of fruit and sandwiches in front of him. "You are fond of akeice?" 

"A little." Lex reluctantly set aside the addictive Kryptonian food to dig into his human lunch. "Could you bring home an audio Kryptonian-English primer tonight?" 

"What is 'primer'?" Kal said, taking his seat catty-corner to Lex. He began eating his meal. 

"A beginner's learning guide." Lex indicated with his chin towards the booklet at the other end of the table. "The booklet can teach me to read Kryptonian, but not how to speak it, since there is no sound program." Which Lex no longer found weird, after learning Silence Was Golden in Kryptonian society. 

"I am not certain." Kal's brow furrowed with thought. "I do not know if there is such thing." 

"There has to be. You learned English and the booklet has an English translation program," Lex said. "Someone would've thought of doing the reverse." 

"I learned Human English at Academy." 

"Then, perhaps they'd have a primer," Lex said around a bite of ham sandwich. "In the alternative, I might be able to get by with preschool age DVDs." 

"I know not what is 'DVDs' or 'preschool'," Kal said, dipping his akeice into his gruel. 

"DVDs are visual recordings for your television." Lex tried not to cry at the sight of the careless ruin of a perfect cake of akeice. "Preschool is the human term for the earliest children begin formal education, usually around age three or four." 

Kal inclined his head in understanding. "Krypton does not have this preschool. We have Academy. Children begin Academy at age one." 

Lex was surprised. "One? Isn't that too young?" One year olds couldn't even walk yet, Lex didn't think. 

"It is not." 

Maybe Kryptonian ages were counted differently. Lex would have to look it up. "I'm sure, because of the young age of the kids, the Academy has materials to teach the language." 

"It is the role of Academy to teach all things," Kal said. 

"How many Academies are in Kandor?" Lex asked, interested. With the high population, they had to be numerous, if kids begin attending at age one. 

Kal looked at him like he was a moron. "There is only one Academy." 

"That can't be," Lex said. "Even if only a third of the couples have school-aged children, that would make four million kids, and you're saying they're all in one school?" 

Kal inclined his head. 

Lex couldn't believe it. "How big is this Academy?" 

"Academy is two-ten-three buildings," Kal replied. 

Twenty-three buildings, Lex translated. At five hundred floors per building, that still meant over four hundred children per floor, and he hadn't factored in the ratio of students enrolling to students graduating. "How long do kids go to school?" 

"Academy is from age one until age fifteen, when children attain maturity." 

"Fourteen years." It was about the same amount of time humans spent in school, from kindergarten through high school. Lex attempted wrapping his mind around the number of school-aged children, class sizes, and what that meant for the quality of education. 

It struck him then that, over the past two and a half days running around Kandor, he couldn't recall seeing a single child. He asked Kal why. 

"Children are at Academy." 

"Yes, but don't they go home after school?" 

"Children home is at Academy," Kal said. "They reside there until they reach maturity." 

Lex's mind boggled. The Academy was a boarding school? Not only did all those children attend classes in few buildings, but they lived there, too? "It must have been crowded. You must've been bumping into each other constantly." 

"There was no touching." Kal sounded offended. "Touch is forbidden." 

Lex tried to imagine living conditions where no one touched. Or talked much, he bet, thinking about the silent working world of the adults. They had to learn how to be that silent somewhere. It seemed like a very cold place to grow up, much worse than his own isolated, friendless childhood, until he figured out the fun things he could do with his penis. "Did you like it there?" 

Kal appeared confused. "Like it?" 

"Did you like being at the Academy or couldn't you wait to get out of there?" Lex had hated school for a variety of reasons, mostly to do with baldness and the viciousness of children. 

Kal made a sound of understanding. "I desired attaining maturity so that I could begin work." 

"As a weatherman." 

Kal's expression darkened at Lex's tone. "My work is important." 

"I'm sure it is to those three people who go outside." Lex finished his sandwich and started eating his plum. The akeice called to him, but he'd been somewhat constipated that morning. 

"The name of El is notable for its works. The name of El has attained ruling house." 

Lex's curiosity piqued. The Supreme Council governed the city, keeping law and order and the necessary cosmopolitan maintenance. The Science Council approved names to be recorded in the history books. He didn't know anything about the caste structure, though. "What does it mean to attain ruling house?" 

Kal straightened his shoulders with pride. "The House of El has had all heirs recorded in history archives for more than five generations, and so attain ruling house. There are seven-ten-three ruling houses in Kandor." 

"That's it? You're not some kind of royalty or something?" 

"It is great privilege to attain ruling house. It is sign of distinction." 

Lex thought of the long list of El names in the directory. Barring those who got married and took their spouses' name that could be a lot of heirs to the patriarch of the family. "Do you mean every heir to the name has to get into the books, or just the firstborn?" 

"There is one heir." 

"The first child born in a family," Lex repeated for clarification. 

"Yes, first child is heir," Kal said. "All children after heir are bonded as mates to others." 

"No 'heir and a spare' mindset on Krypton, then?" Lex said. Kal appeared confused. "The ruling houses don't keep two children to continue on the name, in case the first one dies?" 

"There is only one heir," Kal stated. "If heir dies, father's name dies." 

Lex rubbed his lower lip. Such a system would cut down on sibling rivalry and assassinations, and since everyone had an arranged marriage, being second born only meant adopting a new last name. In fact, it was probably better to be the second born, because they didn't have the burden of carrying on the family name for the ruling houses. "You must be under a lot of pressure." 

"How do you mean?" Kal said. 

"You said that all heirs of the ruling houses have been written in the history archives for generations," Lex said. "You must be under a lot of pressure to get your name recorded, too. Otherwise, you'll always be known as the first El not to succeed." 

Kal looked insulted. "I will not fail." 

Kal's father, Jor-El, had earned his distinction by averting an explosion caused by atomic pressure at the planet's core, thus preventing the obliteration of Krypton. 

Kal became a weatherman. 

The El name was doomed. 

Lex snickered mentally. He really shouldn't laugh the vigorous uphill battle Kal had to make a name for himself. Lex knew what it was like holding up the mantle of a powerful name and the possibility of buckling beneath the weight. Not that Lex would fail to live up to the Luthor name, despite his Dad's best attempts to cut his legs out from under him. "Tell me more about being a ruling house. Do you have any duties to fulfill?" 

"Ruling houses have duty of multiple babies to provide mates for all." 

"What does that mean?" Lex knew what it meant on Earth, but he wanted to be sure. 

Kal's shoulders slumped. "It is my duty to make babies with you." 

Lex's eyes widened. "You can get pregnant?" 

"Pregnant means carry baby?" Kal asked with a furrow of thought. 

"Yes, it does," Lex said. 

Kal dipped his head. "Then I can be pregnant." 

Lex's jaw dropped as his balls jumped enthusiastically and his cock rose to say let's knock this puppy up! His arranged marriage included interspecies reproduction. He was going to father an alien child. Jor-El and Lara already confirmed he was compatible, which left him with one question: 

"When do we start?" 

Kal gave him a sideways look. "Start?" 

"Making babies," Lex said, lowering his hand beneath the table to rub his crotch. "You'll have to explain how getting pregnant works for Kryptonians." 

"The penis is pushed in pouch during sex-u-al intercourse. It is done repeatedly until baby attaches." 

"I think I can handle that." Lex pushed back his chair and rose, his erection revealed in minute detail by the jumpsuit. Kal stared at the bulge, making it pulse. "We should try at the very least once a day." 

"Once a day?" Kal parroted, bewildered. 

"At minimum," Lex said with a nod. "Humans need to have sex daily, anyway, or we might die." 

The look Kal got on his face was pure Cletus. "You shall die if you do not have sex?" 

Lex forced his expression to remain solemn. "Yes. Tragic, isn't it? Humans are a fragile species." 

Kal rose and stuck out his chest like a superhero from Lex's comics. "It is my duty to care for you. You shall not die. We shall have sex daily." 

"Good plan." Lex snagged the akeice and headed for the bedroom. He ate it quickly and fondled his hard-on while his tastebuds exploded with pleasure. He couldn't wait to find out what it would be like to eat an akeice at the same time he had a real orgasm. 

Lex's jumpsuit hung around his waist by the time he reached the bed. He turned to see Kal hovering unconfidently in the doorway. He remembered Kal had been a virgin on their wedding night and, despite the fun of the medical exam, Kal's limited experience was making itself known. Lex didn't need to knock up the alien at that very moment. He could take his time and teach Kal how to pleasure his mate with hand-jobs and blowjobs and rimming. Kal didn't seem too enthusiastic to be pregnant right away, either. It was a win-win situation. 

Now, to explain to Kal. "For a human-," Lex began, wiggling the rest of the way out of his jumpsuit, "-the word 'sex' is used to refer to any act which creates a male orgasm." 

Kal stared at him. "Does human orgasm creates babies?" 

"Only if you want it to, otherwise it just makes a mess." Lex grinned lasciviously. "You enjoyed laying on top of me, right?" 

"Touch is enjoyable with you," Kal agreed. 

"Good. Take off your clothes." 

Kal lifted his brows. "I must return to work." 

"I'll make it quick." Lex had been horny since he discovered akeice yesterday at lunch. 

Kal acquiesced, baring his gorgeous body (tiny cock and giant balls, notwithstanding). Lex patted the bed. "Lay down, on your back." 

Kal did, eyeing him oddly. Lex wasted no time in climbing on top of him. Kal's eyes bugged on contact. He breathed out a series of lilting syllables and threw his arms around Lex's body. 

Lex grinned down at him and shifted until he straddled a muscled thigh. His hard on fitted in the curve of Kal's hip, bare flesh to bare flesh. It felt so good and they hadn't even started yet. "We're going to do what's called 'frottage' on Earth. That means we're going to rub against each other until I come." 

"Come?" Kal's big paws caressed Lex's bare back. 

"Slang for orgasm." Lex pushed his hands beneath Kal's sides for grip and started rocking. "Oh yeah, that's good." 

Kal made more noises in Kryptonian and began touching anywhere he could reach. Straining slightly, Lex watched Kal's wonderous, pleasured expression through heavy-lidded eyes as he humped Kal's leg. Sweat built on their bodies, slicking the groove of Kal's hip. Lex screwed his pelvis down and forward, rubbing his cock harder and faster against Kal. His breathing quickened, audible in the quiet room, orgasm building under his balls. 

Straining higher, Lex lowered his head and pressed his lips to the edge of Kal's mouth. Kal exhaled sharply, hands spasming suddenly against Lex's neck and back. Crossed eyes watched Lex, as Lex brushed tiny kisses across Kal's lips, bumping their noses, until Lex reached the other corner of Kal's mouth. 

Kal drew his head back, pressing hard into the mattress. Lex raised his head and met Kal's wide-eyed stare. The surprise and befuddlement reflected in those green-grape eyes made something squish in Lex's chest. 

Lex smiled crookedly, closed his eyes, and reached for the gold. He didn't know if Kal would come, too. He couldn't even feel the tiny stiffy against his leg. At that moment, he didn't care. Climax smacked his ass and called him Cowboy as his body jerked and bucked against Kal's upper thigh. 

He collapsed, sweating and panting like the horse he rode in on. Kal's heart beat very slow and steadily beneath Lex's ear. Hands continued to stroke his head and shoulders in indiscernible patterns. His come started to itch his skin. 

Lex pushed himself upwards with a pleased sigh. He opened his eyes and looked down at Kal. Kal looked slightly disappointed Lex had moved. 

"Did you come?" Kal said. 

Lex shifted, freed a hand, and swiped it through the goop on Kal's stomach. "Yes, most definitely." He raised his finger and brushed it against Kal's lower lip. He inhaled, softening cock twitching, when Kal licked his lips. "Do you like the taste?" 

"It is like kyon," Kal said. "A fruit grown on Vathlo." 

"Maybe later I'll let you eat some more." 

"It is good that babies die in air and in digestion," Kal said. "I would like to eat you." 

Lex made an interesting sound in the back of his throat. He swallowed and rocked slowly against Kal's leg again. "That can be arranged." 

* * *

"Dad- 

"Despite what I suspected initially, the operation you've sent me to check out has proven worthwhile. I shall be gone for an extended period of time. Trade negotiations are underway and LexCorp Plant No. 1 will be the base of operations due to its location. Please ensure that the company does not suffer in my absence. When I return, you shall appreciate the fruits of my labor. 

"-Lex 

"P.S. It would be wise not to run experiments while I am gone. It wouldn't be very neighborly." 

Lex lowered the letter and looked at his companions on the couch. "What do you think?" 

Warrior Angel and Devilicus ignored him and continued kissing. 

"I think it'll do." Lex returned his eyes to the letter, poked his pen between the folds of his white robe, and scratched beside his balls with the cap. The buyer had shown up several nights ago with all the items Lex had requested from Earth, including paper and pen (and Warrior Angel action figures, a definite necessity, even if they weren't anatomically correct). He'd first scribbled a note to Gabe Sullivan, putting him in charge of the LexCorp plant and sneaking in their code that he was away voluntarily. The letter to his father was more difficult write. Precise wording was necessary in order to inform Lionel what was really happening without the person reading it aloud for the blind man catching on. 

Lex had been on Krypton for sixteen days and had fallen into a routine. Kal had procured an audio language program and Lex spent most of his time learning Kryptonian while Kal was at work. Sometimes, he'd hang out at a cafeteria in an attempt to pick up phraseology and dictation. When Kal was home, Lex became the teacher of Earthly pleasures of the flesh. 

Lex folded the letter in thirds, wrote Lionel's name and address on the outside, and set it and the pen aside. He stuck his hand in an open box of akeice tucked by his hip. His booklet, several brin-iso, and a pad of paper sat on the floor by his feet. The audio-learner hooked on his ear had been turned off. It resembled a silver hearing aid with a play, stop, and reverse touch buttons on the cuff and was simple to use. 

Learning Kryptonian wasn't simple, though. Nibbling on a cake of akeice despite being constipated, Lex picked up a brin-is and scrolled through the vocabulary list he'd created. On Earth, the majority of Western languages were based off Latin, which Lex knew and made them easier to learn. Kryptonian had no commonality like that. It was more like an Asian language with an entirely separate set of dialect rules. 

It also didn't help that he had a horrible singing voice. 

Kal's footsteps tapped on the tile-like floor as he entered the living area of Lex's quarters. Lex set aside the brin-is and affected a casual slouch. Tonight, he would attempt a few phrases with an audience other than the television. He'd waited until he was confident he wouldn't look stupid stumbling over the lilting words. 

"Lehol, Kal-El," Lex said, wishing he didn't sound so much like a frog. "Dra-wi dokohg?" 

The smile that spread over Kal's face wrinkled his nose and made Lex's belly feel funny. Kal replied in rapid Kryptonian and the funny feeling became an unhappy one. He hadn't recognized any words Kal had said. 

Kal rounded the couch, stopped directly in front of Lex, and leaned down. His hands depressed the seatback cushion on either side of Lex's head. He hesitated a moment, then puckered his lips and kissed Lex on the mouth with a tiny smacking sound. 

The funny feeling returned. 

Kal lowered gracefully to his knees, situating between Lex's legs. "I am proud of my mate," he said, smiling widely. "You have good pronunciation." 

It was unbecoming to preen. Lex pretended he was adjusting his lapels instead. "My comprehension needs work." 

Kal slipped his hands beneath the folds of Lex's white robe and caressed Lex's lightly haired thighs. "You shall understand Kryptonian like you are Kryptonian soon. Then, the name Lex Kal-El will be recorded in historical archives, a great honor." 

"That's the plan." Lex shifted, his cock stirring at Kal's touch. The box of akeice crinkled at his side. Lex moved the box out of the way. He didn't want to crush the cakes. 

Kal gave him a somewhat exasperated look. "You should not eat too many akeice." 

"Why? Will I get addicted?" Too late. 

"Akeice is created from tafo." Kal's right hand went higher, curving in to cup Lex's balls. "It is to keep Kryptonians warm." 

"Are you telling me akeice will make me fat?" Lex spread his legs further, to give Kal better access. Kal had taken to touching Lex like a Luthor took to exploiting anything. 

"Humans make own heat," Kal said, stroking the hot place under Lex's sac. "You do not need insulation." 

"But it tastes so good." Lex blew out a shaky breath and curled his fingers in the cuffs of his robe. "I'd market it on Earth, but I don't want to share. It's like a drug." 

"Akeice is not drug," Kal said. "It does not affect mind or blood." 

"Then, there's nothing stopping me from introducing it to humans, except the FDA." Lex swallowed when Kal squeezed. "I'll think about it more, later." 

Kal's other hand joined in the fun, wrapping around Lex's hard shaft. "I shall give you required sex for your care now. After, I shall prepare your dinner meal." 

"Yes, please." Lex undid the belt and opened his robe. His purpled cock glistened at the tip, standing upright in Kal's hand. 

Without further prompting, Kal lowered his head and swallowed Lex whole. 

Lex moaned loudly, head dropping onto the seatback. His hands sank into Kal's hair, holding his face flush against Lex's pubes. Kal's mouth was an inferno, his throat trapping him in its tight, moist depths. Kryptonian airways were completely separate from the esophagus. A thin flap of skin covered the airway, preventing food from entering, but allowed sound to pass through for speech. The uvulas, two of them, hung behind the skin flap, which meant Kal had no gag reflex, nor did he run out of breath. 

Lex hit the sex jackpot with his alien abduction. And all the things he could've been doing with Cletus... 

Kal began humming and Lex's shout of pleasure echoed off the ceiling. His eyes rolled in the back of his head. Kal trilled up and down scales, his throat vibrating around Lex's cock. He fondled Lex's balls with his other hand. 

Lex lasted no time at all, shattering into orgasm with a head-pounding grimace. He emptied down Kal's gullet, fingers clenching Kal's head. Kal milked him dry. 

"God," Lex groaned, head lolling. He opened his eyes and looked down his body. Sweat gathered in the folds of his body from his slouch. His pale skin had flushed in splotches. Kal's fat lips stretched around the base of his cock, eyes looking back at him questioningly. 

Lex freed a hand from its tangle in Kal's hair and traced his finger along Kal's cheekbone. "I'm done. Thank you." 

Kal slurped off, licked his lips, and rested back on his heels. "You are like tafo. You warm me here." He put a hand on his belly. 

Lex's cock spurted a little more. Fuck, that was hot. 

Kal reached forward again and fixed Lex's robe. He caught sight of Warrior Angel and Devilicus still propped on the couch a bit further down. 

Lex rolled his head the other way and watched as Kal moved to peer closer at them. "Is it us?" 

"No. That's Warrior Angel and Devilicus." 

"It looks like us." 

"I suppose there's a resemblance." Lex brought his body back online and bent towards them, propping his forearm on the cushion. "One's dark-haired, the other is bald. They're both wearing painted-on unitards that's like Kryptonian fashion." 

"They are kissing." Kal looked sidelong at Lex. 

Lex felt his cheeks heat and he tilted his chin defiantly. "And?" 

"They have affection for each other?" 

"Yes." Lex always believed Cal and Sean loved each other madly, and still did, even if they were always trying to kill one another and Hector was horning in on Sean's territory. Hector needed to die. What Cal saw in the pudgy wuss was beyond Lex. Maybe Pepper would 'accidentally' put the boom-boom on him- 

"Then, they are us." 

Lex jerked out of his comic books and stared slack-jawed as Kal rose and walked away. 

* * *

Lex touched the button to lower the television. He re-cinched his robe and returned to the couch, where he'd been all day, alternately thinking about an akeice trade, eating akeice, and studying Kryptonian. The television screen glowed blue before coming to life. 

Kandor had one television station, which primarily reported science and technological advances of the planet. Local news and weather broadcasted at wolu four. Getting comfortable again on the couch, Lex removed his audio-learner, stuck it in the pocket of his robe, and paid attention to the news. He understood about a third of what the Kryptonian newscasters said. Kal had been practicing with him in the evenings, speaking in Kryptonian first and then repeating what he'd said in English, which helped Lex's learning tremendously. 

Lex munched on akeice and waited for Kal to come on television. His dismay at being married to a weatherman had morphed into amusement around the tenth broadcast. Kal was so serious as he reported the weather. He even had one of those maps that showed wind movement, rain and snowfall in other areas of the continent, and high and low temperatures. 

The broadcast cut to Kal in his weather room. His hair was slicked back, as usual, and he wore a deep red jumpsuit with yellow strips up the sides of his legs. The low timbre of his voice rolled through the hidden speakers of the television. Lex learned heavy rain was falling in Argo City and snow was expected further north. Halfway through the report, a curl of Kal's hair sprang free and hung over his forehead, like it did every broadcast. Lex's mouth curved in an endearing smile. 

When Kal finished with his weather report, Lex pushed himself off the couch and headed for the bathroom. He dropped his robe on the bed as he passed through the bedroom. Sitting on the couch all day, for some reason, made him feel grungy even though he wasn't doing any physical activity. He'd taken to showering nightly after Kal's broadcast. 

A stack of bagged and boarded Warrior Angel comics (another necessity the buyer had brought) sat on the floor beside the toilet, half under the sink. Lex chose one at random to read while doing his business. Considering how constipated he'd been, he could usually get through an entire issue a sitting. 

Prunes, Lex decided as he got into the shower, would be going on the grocery list. He poked the slender spray rod up his unhappy bottom in hopes of loosening things. Squirting a dab of aloe-rich soap for sensitive skin into his hand (another Earthen procurement), he lathered his body under the red rain of water. His soapy hands slid over his pale skin and through the hair under his arms and curling at his groin. 

He removed the nozzle from his anus, soaped it off, and let it fall to dangle from the wall as he expectorated. He squirted another dollop of soap, rubbed his palms together, and continued washing. His fingers curved around his flaccid cock, soaped under his balls, and between his legs. Lathering downward, he washed each lightly haired leg, balancing on one foot to get between his toes, biting his tongue at the tickle. Sliding his hands back up his body, he frowned at the flab around his middle and the pudginess of his pecs. He circled his sensitive nipples with his fingertips, looking down at them. He had a pair of man-boobs developing. 

"No more akeice for you," Lex told himself, running his hands downward to poke at his fleshy belly. His constant snacking, something he'd never done on Earth, had given him a lovely layer of insulation. He hadn't exercised since arriving on Krypton, either, which didn't help. He'd have to do something before Kal found him fat and unattractive. 

Lex rinsed off, got out of the shower, and wrapped a towel around his waist. He looked at his reflection in the mirror over the sink. He pushed his cheeks with his fingers, tightening the skin over his bones, and then let go. Was his face becoming rounder? 

Lex opened the cabinet, cutting off his view of his reflection. Weight gain wasn't something he'd ever dealt with because he'd always been thin. Some people even claimed he was too thin. He slapped on deodorant and resolved to start exercising again. There had to be a gym on Kandor somewhere. Kryptonians weren't obese. He'd ask Kal when he got home. 

Lex toweled dry, tossed the towel in the corner - Kal played maid without asking or complaint - and stepped out of the bathroom. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he caught sight of Kal-El standing in the connecting doorway. He clamped down on his exclamation of surprise. "Lehol, Kal," he said instead. 

"Lehol, Lex." Kal's eyes raked slowly down Lex's body. "Kolu abloucht. You look touchable." 

Lex felt his ears warm. People had commented on his attractiveness since his mid-teens, but the way Kal said it made Lex actually believe it, especially knowing the Kryptonian stance on touch. "I'm getting fat." 

Kal crossed to him and laid his broad hands on Lex's shoulders. "Abloucht." His hands slipped slowly downward, palms sliding against Lex's slightly damp skin. He cupped the rounding flesh of Lex's pecs. "Touchable." He kneaded gently, Lex's pebbling nipples poking his palms. 

Lex sucked in a long breath between his teeth and swayed closer to Kal. Maybe he wouldn't start exercising just yet. 

* * *

Lex dug under the couch and pulled out three boxes of akeice. He carried them into the bedroom, where they joined the twenty-odd boxes on his bed. He ducked into the bathroom to remove the two boxes hidden in there, one behind the towels and another mixed in with his stack of comics. His closet had been emptied first, where he kept his biggest stash of the fattening cakes. 

But no more. He was going to put them all back in Kal's kitchen cabinets. It didn't matter how delicious they were, or how orgasmically happy they made his mouth, or the totally mind-blowing feeling of eating one while coming down Kal's singing throat. He didn't care that Kal could hardly keep his hands off Lex now. He was never having another bite of akeice again. Akeice was the devil. Akeice made him porky. Akeice gave him man-breasts. 

Lex looked around the bedroom, trying to remember if he hid the evil food anywhere else. Warrior Angel and Devilicus mocked him with their slim bodies from their spot on the shelf in his open closet. 

Kal had been right to warn him that he didn't need the insulation. If only Lex had listened! Now, he had plenty of insulation circling his middle, rounding his ass, and giving him boobs. The akeice was probably to blame for his never-ending constipation and painful pooping, too. 

Making neat stacks of the boxes, Lex picked up a pile of ten and hit the button to the connecting door between quarters with his elbow. Kal had stopped locking the door weeks ago, though they spent most of their time on Lex's side. Lex's steps slowed when he heard voices beyond Kal's bedroom door. He hadn't known Kal was home from work already. 

"Lobbaf frees mate," Lex heard Kal say, his brain translating the words he knew. "I will be alone." 

"Your mate is your mocniapon. Mates are for talking and touching, not babies only." 

Lex crept closer to the open doorway and peered around the edge. Kal was sitting with Jor-El on the couch. 

"Sebid, it is duty for those in ruling house to have many babies," Jor-El said. "Do not fear being alone for many years." 

"I do not want him to leave revofo," Kal said. "Ilevoim." 

"My duty is nesu you have first baby, not nesu levoa." 

Kal made a clicking sound in the back of his throat. "Ectonde. Lat-noco vedel. Warl-ep five weeks." 

Five weeks? What was in five weeks? Lex leaned forward, trying to understand what Kal was saying. He bumped the boxes of akeice against the edge of the doorway and almost knocked them out of his hands. The noise drew Kal and Jor-El's attention. 

"Come, Lex." Kal motioned to him as he stood and rounded the couch. 

Lex glanced at the boxes with some embarrassment, squared his shoulders, and strode into the living area. He set the boxes on the table, tugged the front of his jumpsuit, and walked over to the couch. He gave Jor-El a polite greeting. "Leloh, tanth." 

"Leloh, Lex Kal-El." Jor-El's eyes dipped to chest-level. Lex's face heated fiercely and he fought not to pull at his clothing again. The dark-gray jumpsuit formed tight to every bump and bulge, and lifted his man-breasts perkily. Shame and humiliation twisted his gut. 

Kal, bless his blind, chubby-loving soul, came to Lex's rescue. He curved a hand around Lex's waist. "Is not Lex touchable?" 

Jor-El inclined his head. "He has grown well." 

A courteous way of saying Lex got fat. Lex wanted the floor to open up and swallow him. He smiled falsely instead. "I'm sorry I interrupted. I'll go and let you two get back to your father/son chat." 

"No. Stay. I must leave." Jor-El stood. "My mate waits for me." 

Kal dipped his head. "Baha, Jor-El." 

"Baha," Lex said, relieved. 

Jor-El echoed their goodbyes and left. 

Lex bit the inside of his cheek to keep from doing something more embarrassing, like cry. Starting tomorrow, he'd be upstairs in the atrium, running laps. 

Kal's hand drifted from Lex's waist to his ass. "You have returned your akeice." 

"I wonder why," Lex said sarcastically. 

Kal stepped in front of Lex and tugged him close. Their groins pressed together, Kal's hand spread over Lex's right asscheek. Kal raised his left hand and formed it around Lex's man-breast. He had at least an A-cup size-wise, if not more. "Jor-El is correct. You have grown well." 

"How can you say that? I have breasts." Lex didn't jerk out of Kal's hold only because Kal was humping against Lex's crotch. 

Kal trilled softly, moved his hands to Lex's collar, and drew the jumpsuit down until his man-breasts were bared. He hooked the material under the protrusions. Lex's arms were trapped at his sides. 

Lex knees wobbled when Kal bent his head and sucked a nipple into his mouth. Kal's hand came up to fondle the other man-breast. It fitted into his palm perfectly. He made another trill of delight. 

Lex's cock strained against the material of the jumpsuit. He whimpered and moaned loudly as Kal worked both sides, sucking, nibbling, tonguing, tweaking, squeezing, and caressing, until Lex thought he would die if he didn't find release. Everything Kal's mouth and hand did traveled directly to Lex's cock and balls like an electric shock. Kal had been touching Lex for weeks but today was the first time Lex had admitted he had developed breasts from all the akeice. It made Kal's actions much more pointed and accepting. 

Kal raised his head with a final lick, peeled the rest of Lex's jumpsuit off, and then shed his own. He bent his knees, wrapped his arms around Lex, and lifted suddenly. Lex pretended he didn't yelp, clutched onto Kal's shoulders, and was carried over to the couch. 

Kal sat down with Lex straddling his hips and then shifted until he was lying on his back with Lex on top of him. Lex's cock thumped against Kal's smooth belly. He pressed his hands into the cushions on either side of Kal's head and stared down into Kal's open face. 

Kal lifted a hand and ran his fingers along the curve of Lex's face, from temple to jaw. "My mate." 

"Kal..." Lex's tummy did a slow flip. It seemed to do that a lot around Kal. He hoped he wasn't allergic to the alien. Kal gave great head. 

Kal planted both palms on Lex's plump rump and urged him rocking. Lex exhaled sharply with the friction against his cock. He wished Kal had an asshole at that moment, because he'd fuck Kal long and hard. But Kryptonians regurgitated waste, and Kal was smooth between his asscheeks. He also wouldn't let Lex into the slit at the top of Kal's balls, right beneath his tiny cock, so as not to be impregnated. 

The thought of impregnating a hermaphroditic alien made Lex start thrusting harder against Kal's belly. He could feel his man-breasts bouncing. Kal's gaze dropped to watch them with a hungry expression, which was freaky and hot. He moved faster, hips snapping. Sweat gathered between his shoulders blades and where their bodies met. 

Pressure built behind his balls and Lex strained for the finish. The muscles in his neck corded, he grit his teeth, and squeezed his eyelids shut. Kal's hands tightened on his ass as his pelvis began to jerk spastically, possibly leaving finger-shaped bruises. 

That image sent Lex over the edge with a high-pitched squeal like a taut-lipped balloon. He shot his load across Kal's abdomen with pulsing abandon. Red spots swirled behind his tightly shut eyelids. 

Releasing the breath he'd held, Lex collapsed, deflated, onto Kal's broad chest. He squelched as he shifted a little to get more comfortable. Kal slid his hands from Lex's ass up to rest one on his lower back, the other to cup his scalp. Lex's heart hammered and panted harsher than usual against the curve of Kal's neck. He definitely needed to get back into shape. 

Post-coital lethargy weighted his limbs and sank into his brain. He felt Kal's lips press against his forehead. He smiled and nuzzled closer. He dragged his arm from over Kal's shoulder, letting his fingers tickle over Kal's bare skin. Mischievousness caught hold, and Lex dipped his fingertips into Kal's smooth armpit and tickled. 

"EEEYOYOYOYOYOYOYOY." Kal's back arched off the couch, nearly throwing Lex off him. 

Lex grabbed on, caught his balance, and pushed up. Straddling Kal's waist, he looked questioningly at Kal. Kal's face was twisted and flushed red. Puffing breaths came from between his lips. 

Lex quirked a brow. Hmm. He darted his hand beneath Kal's arm and wiggled his fingertips against his armpit. 

Kal threw his head back and yodeled. "EEEYOYOYOYOYOYOYOY." 

A roguish grin spread across Lex's lips. "So, you're ticklish." 

Panting, Kal threw both arms over his head. "Do again." 

That gave Lex pause. Most people didn't like being tickled. "Are you sure?" 

"Yes. Yes!" Kal squirmed on the couch under Lex. "It feeling good." 

"It feels good," Lex half-corrected, half-hummed. Did he stumble upon a sweet spot? 

There was only one way to find out. 

**"EEEEEEEEYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOY."**

* * *

Surreptitiously, Lex studied the other passengers on the li-aronom. He tried to wrap his mind around the fact that the women weren't really women. The men weren't completely men, either. It was a total gender-fuck. Pregnancy developed an individual's breasts, but otherwise there were no physiological differences between Kryptonians. 

The information Lex found regarding pregnancy on his booklet had been surprisingly sketchy. One Kryptonian put his penis in another Kryptonian's sac, which apparently held eggs, not testicles, from what Lex could figure since the booklet hadn't been specific. The Kryptonian then ejaculated and 146 days later, a baby entered the world. 

The booklet wasn't comprehensible in its translations and attempting to read the information in Kryptonian hadn't cleared things up, either, but somehow there was an exchange of fluids during gestation, where the baby absorbed nutrients from the parent's body and pumped hormones into the mother in return. The hormones caused breast growth and lactation. Once born, a baby would suckle the breast milk from its mother for another month (seventy-three days) and that was the end of the mother's responsibility towards the child. 

Kal had told him that, after the baby "dropped", or stopped suckling, fathers watched over the child in the nursery, the room with the hoses hanging over a cushioned counter. Kal explained the child would feed from the nozzle on the hose, like a bottle, in a sleep-like state as their bodies continued to grow. When they were approximately one year of age, they would "awaken" and, at that time, be shipped off to the Academy. 

Lex wasn't sure if he liked such hands-off parenting. Considering his own childhood and having Lionel Luthor as a father, the kid, or kids as Kal was part of a ruling house, would probably be better off raised by someone else. Still, they would be his children. How could he ensure their health and happiness if they lived at the Academy year round? 

Which was why Lex had stuffed his fat rolls like a sausage into a dark red jumpsuit and ventured into public to check out the Academy. 

Lex folded his hands, rested them on his middle, and watched people as they silently rode the transport. Silence outside of quarters was learned at Academy, according to Kal, another thing that worried Lex. Individual fame came first and foremost to Kryptonians and was bestowed upon them by getting their name in the history archives. No matter their status, getting published in the archives was their raison d'tre. The Academy turned children into citizens of a workaholic nation and he wanted to know how. 

The li-aronom dinged as the craft approached a platform. Lex rose and managed to debark without hitting anyone with his fat ass. Damn akeice. He'd only sneaked one of Kal's at lunch. He hustled through the freezing cold into the Academy. 

The Academy matched every other building Lex had visited on the surface. A five hundred floored skyscraper with a central elevator system and a glass-covered area at the top. Inside, however, was a different set-up. Two Enforcers, one man and one woman - although, Lex couldn't identify them like that any longer, could he? - stood at a security consol inside the platform doors. 

"State your name and purpose," the boobed one said in Kryptonian. 

"I am Lex Kal-El. I would like to tour the Academy," Lex answered, hating his croaking tones as he spoke the other language. 

The flat-chested one typed something into his consul. "State reason for tour." 

"My mate and I will be having children soon. I want to see where they'll be growing up." 

"Under Academy rule three-ten-one, parents-to-be may explore the Academy, so long as they do not disturb the children," the flat-chested one said. "You may proceed." 

Lex had thought he'd get a guide, but being allowed to roam freely was even better. He nodded his thanks to the Enforcers and walked past their station to the elevator bank. He chose a floor at random. 

Silence greeted Lex as he wandered the Academy. Two auditorium-like rooms divided each floor, and when he poked his head into the open doorway, he saw curved rows filled with students sitting behind tables, wearing identical silver jumpsuits and audio-learners cuffed over their ears. No teacher stood at the front of the class, though the students appeared to be diligently working with a brin-is and a computer console set into the table in front of them. 

He did not see anyone flaying the children for not working. They seemed well-trained already in the art of silence. It wasn't until he found an auditorium filled with younger people, with two adults supervising, did he see how they learned to be quiet: they wore a band of stretchy black material around their necks, pulled up to cover their mouths. 

The material reminded Lex of a ski scarf or a very tight turtleneck. Nothing appeared to be preventing the children from lowering the mouth masks, which he saw one kid do. He started to speak, but the adult was beside him almost immediately. She pulled his mask back over his mouth with a stern look. The kid bowed his head, chastised. The other students watching turned back to their work. 

Appeased, Lex continued on his tour. Enclosed moving sidewalks connected the twenty-three buildings of the Academy. He soon learned the buildings were divided into two types: educational and residential. The educational portion felt cold and structured, like the work environment of the adults in the city. The residential portion, however, made Lex feel much better about the place. 

The floors of the residence buildings were divided into small dormitory-like rooms. Many of the doors were open and young kids, who looked about four or five, lounged on capsule-shaped bunk beds, four beds per room. They chatted quietly with each other, their hushed voices not carrying out into the hallways. 

Lex found the atrium level of the residential buildings to be designed like a playground. More young children, smaller than knee-high, ran around following or chasing each other, climbing over the odd-shaped play equipment, and making a lot of noise. The red sun beamed through the glass ceiling, highlighting their happy, smiling faces. 

He found the rest of the adults that seemed to be missing in the educational buildings. They tended the children, answering questions and preventing accidents. They also each had a thin eight-inch rod they used to smack hands when they caught someone touching another. It apparently stung, because the swatted child yipped and a red mark was left on the back of their hands. Lex understood Kryptonians had to learn the no-touch rule somewhere. It didn't sit well with him, but he also didn't see the children being hit excessively, just one swat per touch. 

None of the adults came to engage him in conversation and he sat and watched for a while on a bench. He figured out a few of the adults were parents, as one or two children would continually run up to them, share something, and run away again. Eventually, he left to continue exploring. 

The showers were communal, as were the waste stations, and three open cafeterias with long rows of tables took up the bottom floors of the residential buildings. He guessed the dorm floors divided by age, as entire levels were devoid of children who were probably in the education buildings. 

Lex started back that direction, mollified by what he'd seen. He'd have to ask Kal more about a typical Academy day for the older students. He wondered if they were able to maintain friendships once they were outside, separated by work and mates. Maybe they did, and Kal had a group of pals that Lex had never met. Or Kal could be someone like Lex, who had few actual persons considered friends. 

Lex turned the hall corner to get onto the outgoing moving sidewalk and was surprised to see Kal step off the other, incoming sidewalk. "Kal, what are you doing here?" 

Kal glanced at him but didn't stop. Another person walked beside him. 

"Kal, stop." Lex walked swiftly after Kal and grabbed his arm. "Why did-" 

Kal let out a screech and yanked his arm from Lex's grip. "You touched me! You touched me!" he exclaimed in Kryptonian. The other person rushed over to a green button on the wall and slapped it. 

Lex gaped at Kal. "Of course I touched you. You ignored me." 

Kal's companion shot Lex a revolted look. "Touch is forbidden. You shall be punished," he said in Kryptonian. 

"What?" Lex was seriously confused. Footsteps pounded on the floor behind him and he glanced over his shoulder. The Enforcer from the front desk, the flat-chested one, ran up and seized Lex. 

Lex gasped as the Enforcer slammed him face-first against the white wall. "What are you doing?!" 

The Enforcer ignored him and asked Kal and the other what happened. 

"I was touched," Kal said in his native language, his tone angry and disgusted. "That one took my arm with force and propriety." 

"Report to Ta-Adan. I shall detain liovat in security room," the Enforcer replied. 

Lex translated the words he knew and guessed that liovat referred to him in some way. Kal and the other rushed off. A pain stabbed Lex in the chest when he saw his mate leave him alone with the Enforcer without care. 

"Come." The Enforcer half-pushed, half-marched Lex across the moving sidewalk and down to the platform level. He was placed in a small room with a table and chairs the only furniture. The table had three-inch metal cuffs bolted to the surface in front of each chair and the Enforcer locked Lex's wrists in place. 

Lex tugged at the cuffs. His hands were secured, his forearms trapped against the table. "Why are you detaining me?" he said in Kryptonian. "I didn't-" 

The Enforcer walked out of the room, the door sliding shut behind him. 

Lex slumped and scowled at the closed door. He didn't know what was going on, but he did know he and Kal were going to have words, mean and ugly ones. Then, he was going to make Kal beg for forgiveness. Nakedly. With oral and anal action. And akeice. 

Lex could break his diet for a good cause. 

The longer Lex waited alone in the room, the angrier and hornier he became. Hurt reared its head, too, but Lex forced it back into its box. He also had to take a leak. 

When the door finally opened, Lex's prepared tirade sat on the tip of his tongue. He glared at the people who filed into the room: the Enforcer, a skinny Kryptonian with bushy hair, Kal, and... Kal? 

"Lex." One of the Kals hurried over to his side, concern written on his face. "You are unhurt?" 

Lex looked between the Kals. It was possible he had lost his mind, but otherwise, "I'm okay." 

Mr. Bushy-head stepped forward and addressed Lex in Kryptonian. "Lex Kal-El, I am Ta-Adan, Disciplinarian of the Academy. It has been reported you have touched the child, Kor-El. Is it true?" 

"Kor-El?" Lex glanced at the other Kal, who wore a silver jumpsuit. "It was you I grabbed in the hall?" 

Kor-El stuck his nose in the air with offense. "You touched me." 

"I thought you were Kal," Lex said, looking at his mate and then back at Kor-El. "An honest mistake, seeing as how you two are identical." 

"Lex Kal-El admits error," Kal spoke up, addressing Ta-Adan. "He is from off-world. He is yet learning our laws." 

"He must still be punished," Ta-Adan stated. "As Kor-El is a child and is not mated, the Academy is responsible for punishing offenders." 

"Wait," Lex said, straining against his cuffs. "It was a mistake. I thought he was Kal." 

Ta-Adan drew out a metal rod, like the ones the other staff had used on the children in the atrium. Only, this one was a quarter-inch thick. Lex swallowed and looked up at Kal for help. 

Kal inclined his head to Ta-Adan and stepped back. "It is your right as disciplinarian for Kor-El." 

Lex's stomach thudded to his knees. Kal wasn't going to rescue him? 

Ta-Adan came forward and positioned himself beside the table near Lex's chair. Lex's shoulders tensed and curled his hands into fists. He tilted his chin defiantly, however, refusing to look weak. 

The first smack of the rod against the backs of his hands came without warning and stung like a son-of-a-bitch. Lex yipped in the back of his throat, clenched his teeth, and bit down the pain. Smack two and three tendered his flesh, but he didn't make a noise. He kept his head facing forward, eyes focused on the white wall across the room between Kor-El and the Enforcer's shoulders. 

Ta-Adan whacked him ten more times before he stopped. He nodded to Kal-El. "Punishment completed." 

Lex blinked back the tears eyes. His hands were on fire. He saw Kor-El smirk and helpless rage and humiliation burned in his chest. 

Ta-Adan put away the rod and ushered Kor-El out of the room. The Enforcer unlocked Lex. Lex drew his arms back and rested his painful hands in his lap. 

"Leave us?" Kal addressed the Enforcer. 

The Enforcer inclined his head and left the room. The door slid shut. Kal crouched immediately beside Lex, pain written across his features, and attempted comfort. "My mate-" 

"Take me home," Lex said tightly, in English. 

Kal reached for Lex's hands. "Lex, allow me-" 

"Take me home," Lex bit out, jerking his arms away from Kal. 

Kal pursed his lips, inclined his head, and straightened. Lex rose, squared his posture like a Luthor, and strode dignified from the room. Kal followed. 

They rode the li-aronom in silence, with the other passengers. Lex kept his gaze focused out the window. He managed to keep himself composed until they were back at Rulun, behind the locked doors of their quarters. Then, he let Kal have it. 

"How could you?" he began in a hiss, rounding on Kal right inside the doorway. "How could you just stand there and let that asshole beat me with a rod?" 

"It is his right," Kal said. 

Wrong answer. "It is not his right. I didn't do anything," Lex said, voice rising. "I only touched someone I thought was you." 

"Mates do not touch in public. It is intimate." 

"That's not the point." Lex shook his red, swollen hands at Kal. "Look what he did to me because of a simple mistake. I'd hate to see what he would've done if I'd touched Kor-El on purpose. Cut off my hands?" 

Fear flashed across Kal's face. "Do not joke. If Kor-El was mated, it is right of mate to request any punishment for touching." 

"What kind of freaky-assed world is this? No, never mind, I can tell for myself: one where my supposed husband doesn't give a rat's ass what happens to me." 

Kal's arms lifted to hold Lex. Lex sidestepped with a glare. "Do not touch me. You no longer have the right." 

Kal lowered his arms, hurt written plainly on his features. Good. "I cannot care for you if I do not touch you," he said. 

Lex ground his teeth. "Fine. But you're only allowed to touch me to heal my hands." 

"Come." Kal headed into the medical room. 

Lex stalked after him, not nearly done being mad. "Why didn't you tell me you had another twin?" 

Kal hefted his lard-butt onto the table, earning another glare. "What is 'twin'?" 

"What Kor-El is, and Cletus, too. Triplets, then." 

Kal pulled on one of the cords dangling from the ceiling. It squirted a pink gel-like substance onto the backs of Lex's hands. Lex bit the inside of his cheek as Kal picked up one hand massaged the gel into his skin. The gel cooled his burning skin, but the application hurt. Being smacked with a rod on his hands was not a kink he could develop. 

"Kor-El is child of Jor-El, if it is what you mean," Kal said. "He will reach maturity in two years." 

"Kor-El is only thirteen? But he looks exactly like you." 

"All children resemble their fathers." 

Lex did recall the very strong resemblance between Jor-El and Kal. He wondered how it worked into the Kryptonian reproductive puzzle. "Our children, too?" 

Kal inclined his head. 

An image of several little bald-headed kids playing in the atrium came to Lex's mind. It made him want to impregnate Kal right now, even before he remembered to paste red hair on all the children. 

He lifted a hand to reach for Kal and swiftly aborted the move. He inhaled slowly, sublimating the pain. Maybe right now wasn't such a good time. He was pissed off at Kal, anyway. He didn't want any baby of his to be conceived in anger. 

"Hurry up," he grumbled, as Kal continued to massage his hands. "I have things to do and don't want to be around you anymore." 

"I am done." Kal released Lex's hands and stepped back. "I shall leave you alone." 

"You do that." 

Kal compressed his lips, pivoted on his heel, and strode from the room. 

* * *

Kal left Lex alone, as he said he would, and Lex hated it. Days passed with silence in their quarters matching the silence in outside. Kal came to Lex's side only to prepare meals and then left directly afterwards. 

Lex was so lonely. He had no desire to go out and find others to talk with, or to do work. He wanted Kal to talk to him, to share his day and to tease about the spit curl that always fell over his forehead during the weather report. He ached to touch Kal, to feel Kal's strength under or above him, to see the dazed look in Kal's eyes after a particularly good lovemaking session. 

Lex had stopped wallowing in self-pity and anger the morning after his trip to the Academy. Kal was not at fault for the rules of Kryptonian society. He had looked pained by Lex being punished, too. Lex could have been receiving post-punishment comfort and cuddles, instead of the wall of pained silence that surrounded their quarters. 

Lex knew he would have to breach the wall. He finished his slow, painful toilet at the same time he finished Warrior Angel Issue #13, cleaned up, and crossed into Kal's side. Kal's bedroom lit slowly as he stepped into the room. Kal was sprawled nude on the round bed, arms above his head, asleep. 

He was so beautiful, big balls, tiny cock and all. Smooth, golden-tinted skin stretched over long cords of muscle, invited hands to roam. And Lex was the only one who got to touch him. 

Possessiveness and understanding swept through Lex's mind. Kal was his, and no one else's. He was the only person who could lay hands on the gorgeous body before him. He was the only one to feel that tiny vibrating dick inside him. His cock was the only one to breach those fat, succulent lips, and it was only his come that Kal drank down. 

Lex shed his robe and crawled into bed beside Kal. Kal didn't stir, the late wolu embracing him in sleep. Lex leaned over him, studying his peaceful features. He bent and feathered a kiss on Kal's lips. 

"Lex," Kal sighed, a smile curving his mouth. His eyes did not open. 

"Kal?" Lex said. "Are you awake?" 

Kal's eyelids raised and he peered at Lex through his dark lashes. "No." 

Lex's lips quirked. "Then I can molest you in your sleep and you'll never know." 

"You may do what you desire," Kal said. "I am yours." 

"Yes, you are," he growled possessively. He nipped Kal's plump lower lip and humped his hardening shaft against Kal's thigh. "No one can touch you but me." 

Kal's eyes flamed with desire. "Touch me, my mate." 

Lex's nostrils flared in answering heat. He closed the distance between them and plundered Kal's open mouth. Kal lay there, taking the rough kiss, moving his tongue slightly. 

Saliva trailed from Kal's lips to Lex's as Lex drew back. He bent and licked from Kal's cheek to his ear. "I'm going to lick you all over, front and back, and then jack off onto your pretty face." 

By the sound he made, Kal seemed to like that idea. 

Lex really liked doing it, too. 

* * *

Kal sat hunched over the table, brin-iso spread before him, with an intense look of concentration on his face. Lex leaned in the doorway of Kal's bedroom, watching him. Either predicting the weather was harder than Lex thought, or Kal was more like Cletus than just his looks. 

Pushing off the doorframe, Lex wandered over and draped himself on Kal's shoulders. He'd been lonely and bored on his side of their quarters. Not even Warrior Angel and Devilicus battling over Empty Box City and their rough sex afterwards could keep him entertained. 

Lex nosed Kal's ear. "What are you doing?" 

"I am calculating speed of melt in ice at Lopernoth," Kal said, tapping touch buttons on the flat sheet-screen. 

"Sounds exciting." Lex slid his hands beneath Kal's arms and smiled when Kal jerked with a surprised warble. The brin-is clattered on the table when Lex caressed Kal's armpits again. "Do you mind if I interrupt?" 

"I will always stop work for you," Kal said. 

Lex melted on the inside, knowing that work was normally the number one priority of Kryptonians. Using the table's help, he raised a leg and straddled Kal's lap. Kal accepted his weight, wearing a look of bemusement. Lex shifted, getting comfortable, squished between Kal and the table's edge. The movement rubbed his filling cock against Kal's hard body, only thin layers of jumpsuits separating them. 

"We're going to play a game," Lex said, his voice becoming husky. Kal was gorgeous close-up, with lush lips and perfect bone structure. 

"Game?" Kal settled his hands on Lex's hips, thumbs caressing the undersides of the bulge at Lex's waist. His eyes drifted down to focus on Lex's man-tits. 

Lex's nipples tightened under the hungry gaze. Kal really liked his flabs of flesh. It made Lex feel a hundred times better about his rack rivaling that of any woman. He rolled his hips, his growing hard-on, curving left under his belly, stroked against Kal's abdomen. 

Kal's lips curved with a smugness that meant he knew he'd caused Lex's erection. Lex took it as a challenge to wipe that conceited look off his face. 

Taking Kal's hands, Lex pressed both palms against his man-breasts. "The game is simple: however you touch me here-" Lex squeezed Kal's hands. "-I'll mimic you here." Lex ran his fingers up Kal's arms, circled his biceps, and stroked down his armpits. 

Kal chirruped and his nostrils flared. "I will play your game." 

Lex smiled seductively. "Your first move." 

Kal's gaze focused on Lex's man-breasts again, molded by the violet jumpsuit Lex wore. He started kneading both. 

Lex pushed the heels of his palms beneath Kal's arms and mimicked the kneading. Kal clicked in the back of his throat and alternated his kneading, left, right, left, right. Lex copied him, pressing left, right, left, right. 

Lex breathed heavily out his nose as Kal picked up on the game. Kal curled his fingers, stroking downwards repeatedly. Lex did the same, earning a shaky song. His hips rocked subtly in rhythm. 

Kal circled around Lex's pebbled nipples. Lex rubbed circles in the creases of Kal's armpits. Kal pinched each nipple between his fingers. Lex pinched in return. Kal's yodel of pleasure echoed Lex's shocks of sexual electricity from his nipples to his groin. 

"Touchable," Kal said raggedly, rubbing, squeezing, stroking faster and faster. "Most touchable." 

Lex's head fell back with a moan. He thrust his pelvis against Kal in short, hard bucks. He clung to Kal's shoulders, using his thumbs to play his side of the game. Kal sang wildly, humping back, the chair squeaking on the floor as he gave Lex pleasure while taking his own. 

A sharp twist of Lex's nipples sent Lex plummeting over the edge into orgasm. He stiffened and shook as he spilled his load into the fabric of his jumpsuit. Kal continued plucking at Lex's nipples, sending jolts to his cock, until it became too much. 

"Kal..." Lex tugged at Kal's wrists, pulling his hands away. "You win. That's enough." 

"I must stop now?" Kal said disappointedly. His face was flushed, his apple cheeks bright. Green-grape eyes sparkled with continued desire. 

"You saw me come," Lex said, catching his breath. "Humans need recovery time after that, remember?" 

Kal inclined his head, even as he lower lip slid into a pout. "But I enjoy touching you." 

"I'll let you touch me again in a few minutes." Lex's cock was trying valiantly to rise again already. He pushed his fingers beneath Kal's lowered arms. "In the meantime..." 

Kal warbled as Lex wiggled his fingers. Surprisingly, Kal stopped him from continuing. He held Lex's hands trapped between them. 

"Why did you stop me?" Lex asked, confused. 

"I desire to show you affection now," Kal said, leaning forward. He kissed the tip of Lex's nose. 

Butterflies fluttered for no reason in Lex's stomach. "As long as I get to kiss you in return." 

"Your human kisses make me sing here." Kal pressed their clasped hands against his chest, over his heart. "I will accept all you gift me." 

"Good," Lex said gruffly, freeing his hands to wrap them around Kal's neck, bringing their faces close together. "Because I plan on kissing you a lot." 

* * *

Lex woke slowly to the gentle trill and soft touches of his mate. Groggily, he opened an eye and peered at Kal. "Hn?" 

"It is lunch meal, Lex," Kal said, running the tips of his fingers along Lex's scalp. "You must eat." 

"T'rd. S'eep," Lex mumbled, the side of his face squished into the bedding. 

"It is not good to not eat." Kal swept his hand down the curve of Lex's bare spine. 

Lex shivered at the light tickle. For a race that made such a big deal about not touching, Kal certainly liked putting his hands all over Lex. Then again, for a race where prestige was everything, Kal had chosen to be a weatherman, so that explained a lot. 

"Come. You must eat." 

Lex flopped onto his back and grabbed a hunk of belly. "I can afford to miss a meal or thirty." 

Kal caressed the spread of excess flab that made Lex look like a pear with legs and man-breasts when he stood. "I do not want you unhealthy." 

Heat banked in Kal's eyes as he watched his hand move over Lex's pale skin. Lex felt more desired at that moment than by getting hit on by hundreds of people at a club when he'd been slim. "Kal..." 

"I could spend revofo touching you," Kal murmured, bending to press a kiss above Lex's navel. 

Something in Lex's chest squished and he inhaled shakily. He touched Kal's cheek, swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, and whispered, "I don't think I'd mind." 

Kal's smile lit up the room. 

Lex felt himself smiling goofily in return. 

"Come. You must eat," Kal said, as he stood. 

"I'll be right there," Lex told him. 

Kal inclined his head and left the bedroom. 

Lex lay in bed a little longer, staring up at the ceiling, still wearing a stupid smile. He'd been so angry and upset with Kal last week for standing idly by while Lex's hands were smacked with a rod. Now, he was feeling something completely different towards Kal, something he was having trouble defining. Either that, or he had indigestion. 

Lex rolled out of bed and swayed dizzily for a second. Eating lunch was probably a good idea. He hoped he wasn't getting sick, though that would explain his recent bout of tiredness. 

He wished it would explain his constant constipation. He labored on the toilet as he read Issue #78 of Warrior Angel. He hadn't allowed Kal to fuck him because he felt plugged up. In fact, Kal hadn't fucked him since their first days as a married couple. That was just wrong. He would have to swallow his embarrassment over his body problems and see if Kal could diagnose him in the medical room, or else a trip back to Earth would be in order. 

Or maybe not, because something seemed to finally be moving down there. Painfully moving, like he'd swallowed a knife and it was now coming out the other end. Lex set aside Warrior Angel, grabbed hold of his knees, and whined with the strain. Shitting was so undignified. The Kryptonians had it so much better, puking once a day. 

"Oh, fuck," Lex rasped, squeezing his eyes shut. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt... 

It was out, with a really gross, squelchy fart. 

And it bit his testicles. 

"Ieep!" Lex yipped and his eyes flew open as another sharp bite landed on his flaccid cock. His gaze shot downward, as two subsequent bites pricked his skin, higher and higher on his abdomen. His eyes rounded in horror as a fist-sized piece of shit crawled over the mound of his belly. A claw with five needle-sharp points extended from the shit and sank into his flesh. 

Lex screamed bloody-murder. 

"Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!" He tried to bat it off, but in his panic flailed ineffectually. The shit's claws pierced his skin and clung on. "Aaah! Aaah!" 

Kal burst through the door as soon as it slid open, his face ferocious, ready to do battle. "Lex! I am here!" 

"Get it off me! Get it off me! Get it off me!" Lex screeched. 

Kal dropped to his knees in front of the toilet and grabbed Lex's thrashing arms. The second Lex stopped hitting the shit-monster, it began climbing again. 

Lex squealed like a stuck pig. The thing reached the lower curve of his man-breast, extended a claw, and pulled itself over it. A maw opened, ringed with pointed teeth. The shit reared back and struck fast. The teeth pierced around Lex's nipple, sealing around his flesh. He could feel it begin to suck. 

Lex's eyes rolled wildly and he fought against Kal's hold. "Get it off! Get it off!" 

Instead of helping, Kal made comforting noises in the back of his throat. "Lex, be calm." 

**"BE CALM?! THERE IS A SHIT-MONSTER ATTACHED TO MY MAN-BREAST!"**

"I know not what is 'shit-monster'," Kal said, "but that is baby." 

Lex stopped fighting abruptly. "What?" 

"It is baby," Kal repeated and beamed a smile. 

Lex looked down at the thing - the baby - and his mind blanked in shock. He could only stare, as Kal prompted him off the toilet and into the shower. His body trembled despite the hot water. 

Kal used the nozzle first, inserting it gently into Lex, cleaning him out. Then, he picked up the other hose, with the curved showerhead. He trilled softly, and began washing Lex's chest. 

Lex watched as red water from the showerhead washed away the shit, revealing a teeny person attached to Lex's man-breast. Spindly arms and legs arched around the breast, ending in white claws that had sunk into Lex's flesh. Like a string of pearls, the spine bumped beneath leathery-looking skin and disappeared under the curve of a stubbled head. Tiny ears stuck out at the sides. A squished face with closed eyes, upturned button nose, and plump puckered lips pressed close to his man-breast. 

Kal cupped his hand around the baby after he finished cleaning it. His broad palm engulfed it. A little sneeze made him chuckle and he washed off the goop that came from it's nose to land on Lex. 

Lex continued to stare dumbly at the thing attached to him. Kal urged him out of the shower, toweled him dry, and led him into the bedroom. He sat Lex down on the bed, pushed him over gently, and lifted his legs in the air. 

Vibrations hit his prostate suddenly, sending him skyrocketing into orbit. He barked out an unintelligible sound and vanished in an orgasmic daze. 

Semen painted wet lines on his abdomen and he was in the middle of the bed when he returned to reality. Kal was stretched out beside him, cheek propped on his hand, alternately petting Lex and petting the suckling baby. 

Oh. My. God. 

Lex sputtered and pushed up onto his elbows. There was a baby attached to his man-breast! "Kal, what... there..." 

"Is he not touchable?" Kal said in Kryptonian. "We shall call him Lion-El, the next heir to the House of El." 

"No!" 

Kal jerked at Lex's outburst. "No? What is no?" 

"Not Lionel." Lex was close to jibbering like a monkey, but he was lucid enough to know that no child of his was going to be named after his father. Especially not one suckling from his own tit. 

Oh. My. God. 

"He must be named," Kal said. "Do you have preference, if not Lion-El?" 

Lex shook his head slowly, staring at the flat face of the baby visible above the curve of his flesh. 

"Is Kon-El a name you approve?" 

Lex blinked several times, shifted his weight, and lifted a trembling hand. It hovered over the baby's back. 

"Lex?" 

Lex lowered his hand and touched the baby. Rough skin abraded against his palm. The stubble on the head prickled his fingertips. He could feel the warmth of breath against his man-breast. 

Oh. My. God. 

"Lex?" Kal prodded him lightly in the fleshy side. "Is Kon-El a name you approve?" 

"It's fine," Lex croaked. The tiny baby fit completely beneath his hand. 

"Then, Kon-El it shall be." Kal covered Lex's hand with his own, over the child. "Kon-El, the next heir to the House of El. May the history archives record the glory of your name." 

* * *

It was a dream. Or a nightmare, more accurately, brought on by Lex's guilt from eating an entire box of akeice yesterday afternoon. If he didn't stop breaking his diet, his man-breasts would get big enough to nurse a baby. He got the message. Now, it was time to wake up. 

Lex pinched his fleshy side. Pinched again. Pinched a third time with a pained grimace, but the baby was still there. Maybe all the flab had deadened his nerves. He grabbed his non-babied nipple instead and gave it a vicious twist. 

A milky-white substance squirted into the air, like a geyser from his tit. 

"Kal," Lex said, "did milk just spurt from my nipple?" 

"Yes." Kal's hand shifted to cup Lex's naked man-breast. "If 'milk' is nourishment for baby." 

"Ah. Yes. Got it. Because men breastfeed all the time. It's actually pass." 

Kal shifted over Lex, his forearm depressing the bed under Lex's arm, his naked thigh brushing against Lex's own. "It is told 'milk' from mate's breast is sweetest taste existed." Kal bent his head, covered Lex's nipple with his mouth, and began suckling like the baby. 

Lex's laughter started with a small chuckle that grew harder and louder and more uncontrollable until he couldn't breathe and tears streamed from the corners of his eyes. He was breastfeeding a baby that had crawled from his ass and his husband was breastfeeding from his other tit! 

Though, Kal wasn't sucking anymore. He hovered over Lex, concern and worry clouding his eyes. "Lex, what is wrong? You are crying. Are you hurt? Tell me and I will care for you." 

Lex wheezed in answer, still laughing hysterically. "A baby... came out of... my ass!" 

Confusion lines appeared between Kal's eyebrows. "From your pouch, yes. Why is laughter?" 

"Ass... baby... breastfeeding... hahahouch-" Lex started coughing, his lungs seizing. He struggled for air. He shoved Kal's shoulders with suddenly weakened arms. 

Kal pushed up onto his knees beside Lex. "Lex-" 

Lex sat up, swung his legs over the side of the round bed, and concentrated on inhaling slowly between coughs. Memories of past asthma attacks trickled through his mind, but he couldn't recall exactly how they felt. His fingers curled into the mattress and he rocked with the coughs. Kal touched his head, back, and arm, unsettled. 

"Lex, my mate...," he said fearfully. 

"I'm okay." Lex managed to catch his breath a few moments later. He wiped his damp eyes and cheeks. Looking at himself, he saw the baby clinging to his man-breast, weighing it down. Its claws kept it in place. 

No, not it-Kon-El. His... son? 

"It is not good to leave the baby unsupported," Kal said, sounding as if he were grasping for a way to help. 

The bed shifted behind Lex as Kal climbed off. He stared at Kon's squished little face. Kon's tiny nostrils flared as he inhaled. Lex felt a ping in the center of his chest. 

"This is linsga." Kal draped something over Lex's head. Lex recognized the white sash from his closet. The sash turned out to be an elastic sling that went under one arm and fitted snugly crosswise over his torso. The sling hid Kon's entire body, the elastic supporting his weight and Lex's breast. "You wear until Kon drops, except when cleaning body." 

"Until Kon drops," Lex parroted, hysteria creeping back. "Until Kon drops?" 

Kal eyed Lex nervously. "Kon's claws and teeth will detach from lat-noco when vedel completed." 

Vedel translated roughly to growth or development. Lat-noco was what Kal called Lex's man-breasts while fondling them. Lex suddenly hated both words. 

"Let me see if I understand this," he said with deadly calm. "Kon, the baby that crawled out of my ass, will suck my tit until he drops - which, if I remember, is a full month after the baby is born - and when he drops, he will leave his claws and teeth behind, lodged in my man-breast, which had provided milk for his development." 

Kal inclined his head. 

"How is this possible?" 

"What do you mean?" Kal said. 

"How is this POSSIBLE?!" Lex exploded suddenly, shooting to his feet, causing Kal to stumble back. "I am a man, a human male. I do not have a womb. I do not have eggs. I cannot grow real breasts. I don't lactate. I can't bear children!" 

"Lex-" Kal began. 

"You were supposed to get pregnant." Lex waved his arms in emphasis of his tirade. "You are the alien species. You are the hermaphrodite. You develop lactating breasts. You have the babies." 

"Lex-" 

"I didn't even get to fuck you!" 

Kal caught Lex's wrists and held them together, between their naked bodies. "You are not privileged to have sex-u-al intercourse with me." 

Lex's temple throbbed and he exhaled like a raging bull. "You did not just say that to me. I can fuck anyone I want, and that includes you, you tiny-dicked son-of-a-bitch." 

Kal was either oblivious to Lex's fury, or really stupid. "You are my mate. It is your duty to host babies." 

"It is not my duty to host anything! I'm a guy. I can't have babies. It's impossible." 

"You are compatible with Kryptonians," Kal said. "Your pouch will hold many babies." 

"Humans don't have pouches!" 

Kal switched his hold so he had both of Lex's wrists caught with one large palm. He grabbed Lex's balls with his other hand. "You do not have external pouch like me. You have internal pouch." Kal slid his hand further back between Lex's legs and rubbed a finger over Lex's anus. 

Lex's cock betrayed him by taking interest in Kal's touch. He scowled darkly. "That's not a pouch. That's my asshole. It's for fucking and shitting. It doesn't have the right equipment for making babies." 

"You do not make baby, that is my duty. You are host." 

"In case you missed Sex Ed at the Academy, it takes two different sexes to make a baby," Lex growled, tugging at Kal's hold. "One provides the sperm, one provides the eggs, one provides the Beach Boys music and, presto, nine months later the woman gives birth." 

"I know not what is 'sperm'." 

Lex got his hand free and flicked Kal's dick with a finger. "It's what comes out of that." 

A light went on behind Kal's eyes. "You speak of meseno." 

"Yeah, whatever. The point is: you have meseno and I have meseno, which means there 'ees no' way to make a baby." 

"Meseno is baby," Kal said. "I put my penis in your pouch and deposit meseno. Meseno vedel in pouch for two months and then warl-ep to complete vedel." 

Lex opened his mouth, closed it again, and blinked several times. If meseno was the baby itself that meant Kal ejaculated an already fertilized egg in Lex's ass when they'd had anal sex. "But how can a baby grow? There is no umbilical cord in my ass." 

"What is 'umbilical cord'?" 

"It attaches the baby to the mother so the baby can get nutrients," Lex said, his mind working frantically. What had he read about Kryptonian reproduction? 

"Meseno ectonde to wall of pouch." Kal held up a hand and crooked his fingers like claws. 

Lex's memory clicked. The baby hooked itself into the mother and there was an exchange of fluids during gestation, where the baby absorbed nutrients from the parent's body and pumped hormones into the mother in return. The hormones caused breast growth and lactation. 

Lex looked down at his bare man-breast. He tweaked his nipple and watched a short stream of milk fountain from it to spatter on the floor. He had breasts, real breasts, for feeding babies, not because he'd gotten fat. Kal had impregnated his ass-pouch and he'd grown breasts because of it. There had been a baby up his butt, which undoubtedly was the cause of his long-term constipation. It was a wonder he hadn't shit the thing out, since gestation took two months. 

"Jesus," he breathed. He'd been pregnant and hadn't even known it. No wonder he'd eaten all that akeice. "This is fucked." 

"We have fucked already," Kal said. "Meseno ectonde more easy after first baby." 

Lex's gaze jerked up. "Are you saying you impregnated me again?" 

Kal inclined his head. "It is duty to produce many babies." 

"Many babies?" Lex squeaked, eyes going round. He crossed his hands over his ass, as if it weren't too late to prevent it. "How many is many babies?" 

"I decide you shall host eight-ten babies, in honor of each El prior." Kal cupped Lex's naked breast and kneaded it lightly. "I will like to see two babies on your lat-noco, even for short time, until elder drops." 

Lex stared wide-eyed at the wall, as Kal lowered his head and sucked the nipple into his mouth. Eighteen babies? His ass was going to give birth to eighteen babies? 

I don't think so. 

* * *

After Kal had explained Lex could no longer wear a jumpsuit or he'd smother the baby, Kal had helped Lex into a loose brown shift dress and boots, kissed him on the lips, and went back to work. 

The door had barely slid shut behind Kal and Lex was moving. He spread his robe on the bed, threw several boxes of akeice in the center of it along with Warrior Angel and Devilicus, tied the ends in a hobo-sack, and fled. 

The li-aronom ride to the Hub took forever. Lex perched on the edge of the bench seat, leaning forward as if that would make the craft move faster. The linsga hidden beneath the dress made its presence felt with every shift of his torso, reminding him of baby attached to his tit and the new one growing in his ass. 

Eighteen, he thought with a shudder. That would mean he'd be knocked up and breastfeeding for the next thirteen-some Earth years straight. He'd be nothing more than an incubator and bottle, and Kal seemed pleased by that fact. 

Lex's heart squeezed painfully and he felt sick to his stomach. That's what he got for thinking Kal actually liked him. He should've known better. People always wanted him for what he could do for them with his money or his name. Why should him being used for his body be any different? 

The li-aronom arrived at the Hub and Lex debarked. He followed the signs to the Earth gate. He wasn't sticking around. Kal could find some other container for his spawn. 

The lack of za didn't hold up Lex, thankfully. He told the gate operator in Kryptonian his destination and the operator inclined his head and touched a combination of symbols on the round stone table in the gate room. A door slid open, bright light illuminating behind the doorframe. Lex didn't hesitate going through. 

Blinded and brain squashed by the pressure, he popped out the other side in a familiar-looking cave. A silver disk clinked on the floor as the cave wall slid shut behind him. Lex grabbed the disk and used it to unlock the round stone table in the center of the chamber. He touched the symbol that spelled "door" and the exit rumbled open. 

Lex took the key and strode with determination from the caves. He shivered when he emerged from below ground. Quick calculations told him it was mid-January. The fields were cut and brown, with a smattering of snow. Gray overcast sky covered him as he walked to the LexCorp plant, the closest structure. 

His passcode worked on the door beside the garage and the hanging metal cabinet that stored the keys. He soon sped towards the mansion in a company car. The seatbelt squashed his untethered breast. 

The front door was open and Lex's boot soles tapped softly on the hardwood floor of the halls, the skirt of his shift dress swirling around his ankles. Carrying his bundled robe over his shoulder, he made a beeline for the office, hoping Lionel was in there. As fucked up as their family was, Lex still wanted his daddy. 

"Dad," Lex said in relief upon seeing his father's hairy mane. Lionel was seated on the couch, his back to the door Lex had entered through. "I'm home." 

Lionel turned at the same time Cletus popped up beside him. Lex wasn't surprised to see Cletus, though it hurt when he laid eyes on Kal's twin. He was stunned, however, to find Lionel looking right at him. 

"Lex!" Cletus exclaimed, bounding from the couch like an overgrown flannel puppy. He swept Lex into a hug, lifting him around the waist and spinning in tight circles. "You came back!" 

Lex was going to hurl. Luckily, Lionel came to his rescue. 

"Lee, put him down," Lionel said. 

Cletus set Lex on his feet and steadied him when he swayed dizzily. He cocked his head. "You're wearing a dress." 

"It's the new fashion." Lex nudged Cletus aside and looked at Lionel, who came up to them. "I thought you were blind." 

"And I thought you were slim." Lionel raked his eyes down Lex's ample form. "I take it the native cuisine has been well-sampled." 

"I can ask the same of you," Lex said with a sidelong glance at Cletus. 

Lionel smiled smarmily. "Why ask a question when you already know the answer?" 

Cletus raised his hand above his head and waved it. "Oh, I know. I know." 

"Yes, Lee?" Lionel said with an odd note of indulgence in his tone. Lex's brow arched. 

Cletus let his arm flop to his side. "It makes the other people feel smarter than you, which is a sneaky way to get them to do what you want." He pursed his lips and wagged his finger at Lionel. "But that's wrong and you shouldn't do it." 

"I wouldn't," Lionel said, capturing Cletus's finger. "Everyone already knows I'm smarter than them." He pressed a kiss to Cletus's fingertip. 

Lex was going to hurl again. "Cletus, will you excuse us?" 

Cletus looked at Lionel. Lionel indicated with a nod of his chin. "Go ahead, Lee. Why don't you let Cook know we have another guest for dinner?" 

"Okay." Cletus loped out of the office, pulling the doors shut behind him. 

Lex's mouth quirked on one side. "Something you'd like to tell me about 'Lee', Dad?" 

"I will admit I've grown fond of him, as one does a loyal pet." Lionel walked over to the dry bar and untopped a glass decanter. He held it up in offer to Lex. 

Lex wanted to say yes, desperately, but what came out of his mouth was, "Can't. I'm pregnant." 

Lionel's bushy brows disappeared into his hairline. "I'm getting to be an old man. My hearing isn't what it used to be. Did you say you were pregnant?" 

"And currently breastfeeding." Lex's lips twisted in a bitter smile. "Congratulations, grandpa. It's a Kryptonian." 

"I take it this is not happy news?" Lionel poured himself a drink and re-topped the decanter, his back to Lex, so Lex couldn't see his reaction. 

Lex snorted, wrapping his arms around his pudgy middle. "I'm here, aren't I?" 

"You could have come home for many reasons, Lex," Lionel said, watching the alcohol swirl in his glass, not turning. "Your letters haven't told me much, other than you were enjoying yourself on Krypton with your husband." 

"I was, until I gave birth this morning." 

"I see." Lionel took a large sip of his drink and set it aside. "Where is the bundle of joy, or your spouse, for that matter?" 

Lex had expected a blas reaction from Lionel, counted on it, actually, to counter the hurt and horror running rampant through him. That didn't stop him from wishing Lionel would freak at least a little. "Kal's on Krypton. He doesn't know I've left." Lex looked down at his cleavage and muttered, "Not that he'd care. It's only the children he'd want." 

"So bitter already, and you've been married only a short time." Lionel turned, walked over to Lex, and curved his hand around the back of Lex's neck. "Would you like to tell me about it?" 

Lionel's touch made Lex feel dirty. He stepped back, out of Lionel's light grasp. "Maybe later. I'm going to take a shower." 

"Very well." Lionel lowered his hand. "Your room has not been touched. Dinner will be at seven." 

Lex nodded, picked up his dropped robe bundle, and left the office. He took the side stairs to the second floor. His bedroom was, as his dad said, untouched except by the maids. No dust settled on any surface and the sheets looked clean. He let his eyes travel over the familiar surroundings and became conscious of how out-of-place he felt. 

Lex dumped his robe on the bed, untied it, and opened a box of akeice. He ate three cakes in quick succession, blinking rapidly to fight tears stinging his eyes. 

* * *

In the bathroom, Lex saw himself naked for the first time in a full-length mirror. He really did look like a pear on legs, small in the shoulders then broadening and rounding in front and in the rear. His stomach hid his genitals if he looked down his body. His full breasts rested on the top curve of his belly; B-cups, he'd measured with a practiced eye, with quarter-sized deep pink areolas and puckered nipples. Attached to his right breast was a leathery-brown creature, leeching life from Lex. 

The texture of the Kryptonian baby's skin was like a bat's wing. It's spindly arms and legs looked like a bat's, too. It was no bigger than Lex's hand as he closed it over the thing. It was a parasite, using Lex as a food source. It didn't share a single gene with him. It was an alien abomination. He wanted to rip it off and then tear the other one from his anus. 

But tiny, human-like features stayed his hand. 

Lex swallowed the emotion trapped in his throat. The ears, lidded eyes and nose were identifiably like a human, or a Kryptonian. 

Kal's child. 

"I would've said yes," he whispered, as he realized the truth. Had Kal asked him to bear his children, once he'd gotten over how it would happen, he would've said yes. 

Though not to having eighteen of them... 

Lex rubbed his thumb lightly across the baby's forehead. What was he going to do? He readily admitted he was terrified. He had two alien lifeforms hitching a ride and no real understanding about them. If they weren't Kal's, he would probably find a way to abort them. But they were Kal's and the last tie he'd have with his husband. 

Kal... 

Lex closed his eyes at the crushing sensation in his chest. He felt betrayed by Kal, worse than by his first spouse - and she had tried to kill him. His letters to Lionel had been truthful: he had been enjoying himself on Krypton and he'd rarely even left his quarters. He didn't need to utilize his genius IQ to understand it was Kal at the root of his contentment. 

"Fuck," Lex rasped. Then, he repeated it louder and louder, until his yelling echoed off the bathroom walls. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!" 

"Lex?" 

Lex turned sharply, startled, both hands coming up protectively over Kon. Cletus stood in the partially open doorway, eyes searching the bathroom, looking ready to do battle. "You were screaming. Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine," Lex said, even as his heart wailed upon seeing Kal's look-a-like again. "I was letting off steam." 

"Oh. Okay. I was worried." Cletus's eyes finally landed on Lex and his jaw dropped. "Woah. You have boobs!" 

Lex scowled and grabbed his discarded towel on the sink to cover himself. "Thank you for pointing it out. I hadn't noticed." 

A fiery red blush stole across Cletus's cheeks, but still he asked, "Are they real?" 

"Yes, they're real," Lex said tightly. "Now, if you don't mind-" 

"What's that thing on the right one?" 

Lex backed up, bumped into the sink, and leaned away, as Cletus walked right into his personal space and tugged at Lex's towel. "Cletus!" 

Cletus bared Lex's breast and his eyes widened. "There's a thing munching on your boob!" He grabbed Kon by the sides. "I'll save you!" 

"NO!" Lex dropped the towel, slapped his hands over Cletus's, and tried to pry his fingers off Kon. "Don't touch him! Let go!" 

Cletus blinked stupidly and let go. "But..." 

Lex cradled Kon protectively behind his crossed hands and gave Cletus an acidic glare. "You are not to touch Kon ever." 

"That's a baby?" Cletus squeaked, pole-axed. 

Lex nodded sharply as he checked over Kon. Kon didn't appear injured or bothered. He breathed with gentle, warm gusts against the upper curve of Lex's breast. "His name is Kon-El." 

"Kon-El?" Cletus backed up a step and twisted his hands in the bottom of his flannel shirt. "Where did you get that name?" 

"My mat-" Lex choked on the word, swallowed, and tried again. "My husband, Kal-El picked it." 

Cletus lost the scared-boy look in exchange for one that was eerily like a Lionel expression. "And now you're here, instead of with him. What happened? Was it because of the baby?" 

"I really don't want to talk about it right now, Cletus." 

Cletus stepped forward again and put his hand assuredly on Lex's shoulder. Lex flinched. They might look the same, but Cletus did not touch like Kal. 

"Don't worry, Lex. We'll protect you and Kon," Cletus declared. "Lionel and I've gotten good at helping meteor mutants." 

Lex suddenly had a very bad feeling. 

* * *

"Lee tells me you've brought the baby with you," Lionel said out of the blue, between bites of filet mignon. He sat at the head of the dining room table, Cletus at his left and Lex to his right. 

Lex paused and then swiped a piece of steak through the dark sauce on his plate. "I did." 

"Why so secretive, Lex? I would like to meet my grandson." Lionel eyed the loose gap in Lex's robe. "Are you breastfeeding at the moment?" 

Lex's skin prickled under Lionel's gaze. He wrapped his fingers in the white material, closing the folds. He hadn't wanted to wear the Kryptonian dress longer than necessary and none of his other clothes fit. "I'm sure Lee informed you of that already, too." 

"No need to be testy, Lex," Lionel chided. "I am merely curious, as you had failed to inform me you did not return alone." 

Unease settled in Lex's stomach, mixing unpleasantly with his dinner. 

"Well, let's see the new Luthor." Lionel set his knife and fork aside and leaned towards Lex. 

A surge of protectiveness for Kon and embarrassment over his own body tightened Lex's hand in the material of his robe, holding it closed. "I don't think it's appropriate to expose myself during dinner." 

"We're all family, Lex. And I know you can't be shy." Lionel's lips curved into a mocking smile. 

"Yeah, let's see, Lex. It's really wild," Cletus said, staring unabashedly at Lex's covered chest, stuffing food in his mouth and chewing like a cow. 

Lex knew it would be futile to refuse any further, unless he left the table. And then, his father would undoubtedly follow until he got his way. 

"Fine," Lex said, and parted his robe, baring the white sling. Carefully, he folded the sling back, exposing most of Kon. "This is Kon." 

His father's expression didn't change, but from years of dealing with Lionel, Lex could see unholy glee alight in his feral gaze. "Kon, a strong name for someone so small. I take it his appearance is Kryptonian in nature?" 

Cletus choked on a piece of meat. 

"Yes," Lex said, glancing at Cletus. "Or I think so. Kal didn't seem distressed by the way Kon looked." 

"Have a drink of water, Lee," Lionel said, focus not leaving Kon. He reached out to touch the baby. 

Lex drew away sharply, covering Kon again. "Keep your hands to yourself, Dad." 

"I'm not going to hurt him, Lex," Lionel said. "Don't act like a fussy mother." 

"I'm not. It's Kryptonian culture not to touch," Lex said, grateful for the excuse based on fact. He couldn't tell Lionel the real reason: that the thought of him laying a finger on Kon sent chills down Lex's spine. He loved his dad, but he didn't trust him. 

"Kryptonian?" Cletus had stopped hacking and wore a wide-eyed, frightened look. 

"Lex married someone from your home planet, Lee," Lionel said, sitting back in his chair. "That's why I knew about your ancestry." 

"Oh, good." Cletus relaxed. "I thought we'd have to get rid of Lex like we did the others." 

Lex quirked a brow at Lionel. "Something you'd like to share?" 

"Nothing you don't already know, Lex. I am quite protective of what is mine," Lionel said. His gaze dropped to Lex's robe again. "That includes protecting your little one." 

"That's what I told him, too," Cletus said. "We're going to protect him and the baby from his husband." 

"I don't need protecting," Lex said, resisting the urge to clench closed his robe again. 

"Yet, you've come home, obviously seeking shelter from a storm." Lionel rose from his chair. "In any event, we should see to it that you and the child are cared for, especially as you are also pregnant." 

"He's pregnant, too?" Cletus goggled at Lex. "That's so weird! No wonder you're a fatso, there's a baby in there." 

Lex didn't correct Cletus's assumption, though he did glare. 

Lionel chuckled. "Now Lee, it's not nice to comment on a pregnant woman's weight. Or a man's weight, in this case." 

"Oops," Cletus said with a sheepish grin. 

"Lee is correct, however, Lex," Lionel said. "Your weight gain is rather substantial. I have taken the liberty of arranging for my medical staff to give you a physical, to ensure you are healthy. If you would follow me to the east wing?" 

Lex didn't budge, warning bells ringing in his mind. "I'd rather not." 

"Come now, Lex, it's important that you are checked over by a physician." Lionel's eyes raked over Lex's body again. "If you are simply embarrassed by your body, don't be. The doctors have seen more oddities than a pregnant, lactating male." 

Lex's ears burned. "I'm not an oddity and I don't want your 'doctors' coming near me. I'm not one of your science experiments." 

Lionel faked surprise. "I would never treat you as one, Lex. You're my son. I am merely concerned for your well-being." 

"And I tell you, I'm fine," Lex said, gripping the sides of his chair. 

"Lex," Lionel sighed, "it would be so much easier if you'd cooperate." 

Lex snorted. "What are you going to do? Knock me out and tie me to a lab table somewhere?" 

"If necessary," Lionel said bluntly. "But only for your own protection and health." 

Fear and panic seized Lex. "Touch me, and you'll never get to Krypton." 

Lionel smiled. "I've already been there. Lee was kind enough to show me the way." 

Lex's stomach dropped and he swallowed. "Dad-" 

"Lee, if you'd please escort Lex to the east wing, room seven." 

"Sure." Cletus was beside Lex suddenly, pulling Lex from his chair. Lex hadn't seen him move. "Come on, Lex." 

Lionel watched with that smile still on his face, as Cletus half-dragged Lex out of the dining room. 

Lex knew he was in deep shit. He couldn't get his arm free of Cletus's grip. Digging his heels into the floor and not walking only served to make him stumble and almost fall. "Cletus, stop. Lionel wants to hurt me." 

"No, he doesn't. He only protects mutants," Cletus said, leading him through the first floor halls of the mansion. 

"I'm not a mutant. Let me go, Cletus." 

"Nope. Lionel said to take you to room seven and that's where you're going." 

Lex's continued protests and pleadings fell on deaf ears. He stopped walking abruptly, dropping to his knees, hoping to break Cletus's hold. It didn't work. Cletus just shook his head, bent, and scooped Lex up bridal-style without effort. "Lionel said you might be troublesome because you wouldn't understand it's for your own good." 

"He's brainwashed you," Lex said, squirming ineffectually. 

"Into helping people?" Cletus scoffed, opening a door at the end of the east wing and walked down a set of stairs. "That's silly." 

Lex stopped talking, instead staring in horror. Split by doors and short spans of wall, windows lined both sides of the wide, dark hallway they walked, white light shining through them. Through the windows, Lex could see males and females strapped to gurneys in various positions, wires and tubes crisscrossed over their naked bodies, entering and exiting every orifice, connected to machinery both recognizable and unidentifiable. Lab-coated people wearing medical masks were in a few of the rooms, poking and prodding the bodies on the gurneys. 

"This is helping people?" Lex squeaked. 

"Lionel is trying to cure their mutations," Cletus said with pride in his voice. 

More like: Lionel was trying to find out how the mutations were caused and how to duplicate it. And Lex was his next test subject. 

Lex started fighting in earnest, beating Cletus about the head with his fists, to no effect. "Let me go!" he yelled, twisting and arching his body. He had to escape. He had to protect Kon. 

Cletus held secure and carried Lex through an open door on the right side of the hall, halfway down. Four 'doctors' milled in the room in lab coats and medical masks, adjusting machinery and prepping scary-looking medical instruments. Lex fought wildly as Cletus set him down on a gurney. Cletus pinned him down with one hand on his neck and one hand on his crotch. 

"Sorry, Lex. I hate to do this, but..." 

The hand over Lex's neck tightened, cutting off Lex's air. Lex's eyes widened and he clawed at Cletus's hand. His mouth opened wide as he tried to suck in air. His lungs burned. Black spots swam in front of his eyes, growing larger and larger. He screamed for help in his mind. 

Then, nothing. 

* * *

Lex heard voices as he swam to consciousness. His throat hurt fiercely and his body ached. He felt like he'd partied too hard. Though, he didn't recall being at a party... 

A sharp pain snapped his mind into focus and his eyes flew open. Two people in lab coats and latex gloves stood over him. One had his hand wrapped around Kon, trying to take him from Lex. Kon's curved claws ripped Lex's flesh. 

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM!" Lex roared in a broken tone. He thrashed at his bonds, wrists and ankles tethered to the gurney. "LEAVE HIM ALONE! DON'T TOUCH HIM!" 

The doctor released Kon and grabbed a syringe from a tray. The other doctor held Lex down. Lex fought with everything he had, screaming in pain and rage. "LEAVE HIM ALONE! LEAVE MY BABY ALONE! DON'T TOUCH HIM! DON'T TOUCH MY MATE'S CHILD!" 

A prick in his arm sent fog rolling across his vision within seconds. "NO! NO! DON'T! LEAVE HIM ALONE! DON'T TOUCH HIM! DON'T TOUCH! DOHN'TTUHHhhhhh..." 

* * *

Lex's head spun and lolled. His eyes opened, shut, and opened again. Blurs came slowly into focus. A dark head was leaning over his chest, a needle in his hand. It bent when pressed against Kon's back. 

Lex whined and struggled weakly against his wrist restraints. "Nohh. Dohnn tucsh Kaa," he slurred. 

"Marcus, sedate him before he starts fighting again." 

"D'anythnn t'me, buh leef Kaa 'loohhh," Lex begged. 

There was no prick. The world simply faded to black. 

* * *

Hazy white light greeted Lex when he opened his eyelids. He felt cold goop on his belly and a firm pressure massaging all around. 

"I don't see anything. How far along is he supposed to be?" 

"Unknown." 

"It could be unrecognizable then, yet. Chart an ultrasound weekly. Tomorrow, we'll concentrate on determining how he got pregnant." 

"It looks like he's waking up again." 

"Already? Better double the dosage and have someone check on him overnight." 

Lex blinked and the world spun back into darkness. 

* * *

Cold. Tired. Stop talking. 

"...Solid, gauzy white mass on the anterior anal canal, measuring one-inch by one-half inch in width and raised approximately one-quarter inch. Note to conduct biopsy and test for cancer. Proceeding with camera past the interior sphincter muscle, entering the sigmoid colon..." 

Dizzy. Kal. Sleep. 

* * *

**REEE. REEE. REEE. REEE. REEE. REEE. REEE. REEE.**

"Run! Run!" 

"Yeeeaaaahhhhgggg-" 

**CRASH. CRACK-CRACK-CRACK-CRACK-CRACK.**

"Keep firing!" 

"He's not going down!" 

"Fuck this! Get the hell out of here!" 

**REEE. REEE. REEE. REEE. REEE. REEE. REEE. REEE.**

Hands. Petting. Touching. Embracing. Shrill, wordless song by his ear. 

Kal? 

Lex lifted heavy eyelids. Fuzzy vision focused slowly, melding features into clarity. Kal's fierce face looked down upon him, strong emotion visible only in his eyes. 

Lex whimpered and his eyes teared in relief. "Kaall." 

"I am here, my mate," Kal said, cupping Lex's cheek. "I am here." 

Lex's tongue felt thick as he rasped, "Cheh Kaahn. s'Kaahn okay?" 

"Kon is well. He is unharmed." 

A sob broke in Lex's throat. His baby was okay. 

Kal clicked and cooed for comfort, raining kisses and stroking Lex's damp face. Lex compressed his lips, chest hitching with smothered hiccoughs, forcing himself to calm. He could break down later and have a good, long, girly cry. Right now, they had to get out of there. 

"Untie me," he said, jiggling his wrists and ankles. He sucked in stuttered breaths as Kal freed him. His mind and body were sluggish from the sedatives. The alarm continued to sound. 

"I shall remove wires," Kal said, and began tearing off sticky electrode disks from his chest. He then slid the IV needles from Lex's inner elbow and the back of his hand. 

Rolling his neck, Lex peered down and saw Kon where he belonged, seemingly oblivious to what was going on around him. Stitches sewed tear lines on his breast where Kon's claws had ripped at his flesh. But Kon had held on stubbornly. 

"That's m'boy," Lex murmured, and caressed the crest of Kon's head. He then helped Kal finish disconnecting from the machinery surrounding the gurney. He had never been so glad to be a pervy slut and knew how to safely remove catheters. 

The alarm cut off suddenly. Panic fluttered in Lex's chest. "We need to go. Now." 

Kal inclined his head and carefully lifted Lex into his arms. The pain of movement cleared Lex's head. He clung to Kal's jumpsuit-clad shoulders, turning slightly towards him to protect Kon between them. 

Kal carried Lex from room seven. He saw Jor-El holding Lionel by the arm partway down the corridor, as Lionel pressed several buttons on a numbered pad in the wall. Lara crouched beside a person lying on the floor, blood staining the back of his lab coat. 

The sight of his father made Lex sick and he looked away. One of the windows had been shot out. Lex saw the other trapped mutants were undisturbed, tied to their gurneys like he'd been. 

"We can't leave them," Lex said, more to himself than Kal. While the findings were undoubtedly valuable, treating them like lab rats without their permission was reprehensible. Especially since he now knew exactly what it felt like to be on the other side of the experimentation. "They have to be freed." 

"Lex." Lionel's voice made Lex cringe internally. "If you would be so kind as to ask your father-in-law to release me." 

"You do not talk to my mate," Kal growled, tucking Lex closer. "I do not give you permission." 

"Such barbaric words," Lionel said. "It's no wonder you ran away, Lex. You were never one for obedience." 

Kal snarled again. "You give offense and shall be punished." 

"Please." Lionel smirked. "I'm here under my own cooperation. If you lay a violent hand on me, you will not enjoy the consequences." 

"That's right, your dog Lee has been well-trained, hasn't he?" Lex spoke up, turning his head to glare at Lionel. "The perfect pet." 

"At least he does as he is told," Lionel said. 

"Is that why you decided to strap me to a gurney?" Lex said acidly. "Couldn't get what you wanted, so why not tie your own son up and take it from him?" 

Lionel scoffed. "Now, Lex, you know I would never really hurt you." 

"What do you call the last however many days, then?" Lex said. "How do you explain the stitches and my bruised throat from your Neanderthal choking me?" 

"You came to me in distress and visibly altered from the boy I call my son," Lionel said with infuriatingly level tone. "My concern for your well-being is founded." 

"And experimenting on me is the solution?" Lex said incredulously. 

"Human males cannot become pregnant, no matter who fucks you," Lionel stated bluntly. "You have been infected by alien parasites, as evidenced by that irremovable creature leeched to your chest." 

"That creature is my son," Lex hissed. "And unlike you, I actually care about my child, whether he's of my blood or not." 

Lionel started to step forward, but Jor-El's hand restrained him. Annoyance flashed over his features. "If you didn't want my help, why did you come home? It couldn't be because you missed me." 

Lex became very aware suddenly that he was naked and being held by Kal. The same Kal who'd only wanted him as a baby-making machine. The happiness he'd felt at being rescued solidified into a ball of misery. 

Lionel caught the change with his predatory gaze. His lips curled with satisfaction. "That's what I'd thought." 

Lex dropped his gaze. 

"What's going on here?" 

Lex glanced up again to see Cletus appear in his flannel glory at the bottom of the steps. He looked ready to beat some heads. 

"Good afternoon, Lee," Lionel said casually. "Did you have a pleasant day at school?" 

"Yes." Cletus's gaze ran measuringly over the occupants of the corridor. His tough-guy expression changed swiftly to shock when he saw Kal. "Lionel, that's not me. I'm me!" 

"This I know." Lionel took a step towards Cletus, but again was prevented by Jor-El. 

Cletus's eyes narrowed. "Unhand him, whoever you are." 

Lara spoke in Kryptonian. "That is your child, Jor-El." 

"It is," Jor-El replied. He switched to Human English. "Is this human your mate?" 

Cletus appeared slightly taken aback by the question. He glanced at Lionel, who nodded subtly. "Er, yes. Lionel's my mate." 

Jor-El released Lionel and stepped back. "It is not forbidden on Earth to touch one's mate. However, I offer apology still." 

Lionel straightened his sleeve as he strode over to Cletus. "Thank you, Lee. Now, if you'd please get rid of our guests?" He laid his hand on Cletus's arm and looked back at Lex with a smile. "But be sure not to injure Lex too much. We can't help him if he's dead." 

Lex stiffened in Kal's arms, as Lionel went upstairs. Cletus cracked his knuckles and gave them an apologetic look. "This may hurt a little." 

Lex didn't see Cletus move from his spot. One second he was there, the next Jor-El was flying down the corridor. Lara cried shrilly, silenced abruptly, and crumpled to the ground. 

A gust of wind buffeted his body and Cletus was suddenly right in front of him and Kal. "I'll take that," Cletus said, scooping Lex from Kal's arms in a blink. 

Lex felt like he was being slapped by hundreds of hands and his head jerked when he came to an abrupt halt. He was dumped on a familiar gurney and found himself staring up at Cletus. Cletus gave him a stern look. "You stay here. Hurting you isn't something I'd enjoy, but I'm not letting you leave." 

Cletus zipped away, the door clanging shut behind him. 

Lex scrambled from the gurney and practically fell on his face from his drugged weakness. He grabbed hold of the gurney and used it as a support to walk. He pushed himself from the end of the gurney to the window, slid to the far end, and leaned heavily against it. The door was passcode locked. He pressed his forehead against the window and looked outside. 

Kal stood in the center of the corridor a short way down, facing Lex's direction. His blood-red jumpsuit swallowed the light in the hallway. Cletus was in front of him, hopping on the balls of his feet, speaking. Kal stared at him with death in his eyes. 

Lex shivered. Scary. And kind of hot. 

The soundproof room prevented Lex from hearing what Cletus said, but when Kal spoke finally Lex read his lips loud and clear. 

"You have dared to touch my mate. As is my right, you shall be punished." 

Cletus apparently found that funny, threw his head back, and opened his mouth in a laugh. Then, he struck. Lex blinked and Cletus had moved, his fist flying at Kal's face. Lex cringed. He'd seen first-hand what a punch from Cletus could do. Jor-El's unmoving form was a testament to that. 

He hadn't expected Kal to catch Cletus's fist and snap it off. 

Cletus's screech rattled the window. His entire hand dangled from strands of sinew not torn, jagged edges of bones sticking out from his wrist. Blood squirted across the floor and onto Kal, absorbing in his jumpsuit. 

Kal hand flew forward faster than Lex could see and Cletus screamed in agony. Both hands now dangled like children's mittens from his wrists. 

Lex gulped. Kal's eyes focused on him suddenly and Lex dug his fingernails in the rim of the window. His body couldn't decide whether to be terrified or turned on. 

Kal sidestepped Cletus, who'd dropped to his knees and curled over his arms. Lex turned to the door as it blew off its hinges with a shriek of metal. It crashed into the medical equipment and thudded onto the floor. Kal strode into the room, features tense and menace in his eyes. 

Lex looked up as Kal loomed closer, their few inches height disparity suddenly seeming an enormous difference. He laid one hand over Kon protectively, the other digging harder into the window rim. 

Directly in front of Lex, Kal stopped and stared. His hand rose and Lex stilled a flinch. But it was with trembling fingers that Kal touched him, tilting his chin. Then, he lowered his head and kissed Lex tenderly. "Ilevoia," Kal whispered against Lex's lips, "Ilevoia." 

Lex pulled back slightly, his chest filling with heartbreak and longing. "I don't know what that means." 

Kal took Lex's hand from the window and placed it against his chest. Lex could feel Kal's slow, steady heartbeat beneath his palm. 

"Ilevoia mean my heart would cease without you." 

"Kal..." Lex swallowed the lump that sprang into his throat, threw his arms around Kal's shoulders, and kissed him long and hard on the lips. 

"I love you, too," he said roughly, looking up at Kal with damp eyes, "but I'm not having eighteen babies." 

Kal frowned, stroking Lex's sides. "It is duty to have babies." 

"Screw duty," Lex declared. "I never do what I'm told, anyway." 

Kal's lower lip slid out. Was he... pouting? "You look most touchable feeding Kon." His hand came up to cup over Kon and Lex's right breast. "I shall like to see you give life to all my babies." 

Lex refused to melt. He was not a baby-factory. He would not give in. 

Kal bent, kissed Kon on the head, and murmured, "Ilevoia, Kon-El." 

Okay, maybe he'd have a few more. 

Movement past the window made Lex tense and he turned with trepidation. To his relief, it was only Jor-EL. 

"Your parents!" 

Kal looked at him as if he'd spoken Swahili. Lex nudged him towards the door. "Your parents are hurt, remember? We need to check on them." 

"I worry for your care more," Kal said. 

A soppy smile spread across Lex's face. He gave Kal another push. "I'm fine. Go and see if they're okay." 

Kal studied him intensely a moment, then left the room. 

Lex pushed his lovey-dovey feelings aside and searched for something to wear in the room. He had Lionel to deal with still. He located a tan-colored blanket and fashioned a toga out of it, covering Kon. 

Cletus had stopped howling and was instead whimpering like an injured dog. Lex ignored him and walked over to Kal, Jor-El, and Lara. Jor-El knelt beside Lara, doing something to her head. "Is she all right?" Lex asked, leaning into Kal as Kal laid a hand on his back. 

"Lara is good." Jor-El cracked Lara's neck. "Your planet makes Kryptonians hard to hurt and swift to heal. We would not have been injured if my child had not surprised us." 

Lara's eyes fluttered and opened. Jor-El caressed her face tenderly. Lara caught his hand and pressed it against her cheek. 

Lex felt like he was intruding and averted his gaze. Cletus caught his eye. The stumps of his wrists were healing over, his hands dangling from their sinewy threads. It was pretty gross. 

"I need to find my father," Lex said, turning to Kal. "Then, I'll get my things, call the Sheriff and the press, and we can leave." Lionel would most likely wiggle out of any criminal charges regarding experimenting on mutants, but it would be bad publicity and sully his name for a while. 

"Lara and I will care for injured child," Jor-El said, assisting Lara to her feet. 

Lex wanted to tell Jor-El not to bother, but held his tongue. Cletus was Jor-El's son and not every father was like Lionel Luthor. He nodded, instead. "We'll meet you upstairs." 

The hardwood floors of the hall were cold beneath Lex's bare feet. He walked steadier than before, his own mutant body chemistry healing himself and ridding the sedatives from his system. Kal looked ready to swoop him up and carry him at the slightest hint of weakness. Lex told Kal to keep quiet and stay out of the upcoming confrontation. He needed to appear strong in order to beard the Lionel in his den. 

Lionel stood behind the glass desk in the study, head bowed, sorting through several papers, when Lex and Kal entered. "How badly is Lex injured?" 

"Not at all." Lex smirked as Lionel's head jerked up. "Though I can't say the same for Cletus." 

Lionel looked between Lex and Kal and paled considerably beneath his facial hair. "What did you do to him?" 

Lex's brows crept upwards. Was that a note of fear he heard in Lionel's voice? "You sound concerned." 

"Don't be ridiculous." Lionel lowered his head and moved papers around again. "I'm merely inquiring as to the clean up I'll have to deal with in the east wing." 

Lex might believe him, if it weren't for the tremble he saw in the papers Lionel touched. Someone cared for his pet more than he let on. "Don't worry, Dad. Jor-El and Lara are giving Cletus a... hand." 

"Did you stop by just to gloat or was there something that you wanted?" Lionel said. 

"I want to know why you risked losing out on millions and making a name for yourself with Kryptonian technology to experiment on me," Lex said. Kal's hand was reassuring on his back. 

"I told you, Lex, I fear for your health and safety," Lionel said. "I would not have had to restrain you if you had cooperated." 

"You're implying it's my own fault?" Lex said incredulously. 

"I would never intentionally harm you, Lex. I'm your father. I only have your best interests at heart." 

Either Lionel was lying his ass off or he was cracked in the head. Lex told himself he didn't care anyway. "Goodbye, Dad. Enjoy your cru-" 

"Lionel! Lioneeeeeelll!" 

Cletus's cry from the hall interrupted Lex's grand exit. He'd never seen the old man stride with dignity so fast. Kal stepped in front of Lex as Lionel came towards them, but Lionel passed without a word, heading swiftly into the hall. 

Lex grabbed Kal's hand and dragged him with, after Lionel. 

At the junction of the east wing from the main hall, Lionel met up with Jor-El and Lara supporting Cletus between them. Fat tears rolled down Cletus's face, the sleeves of his flannel making crossed slings supporting and covering his damaged wrists. He stumbled forward, away from Jor-El and Lara, into Lionel's open arms. "Lionel..." 

Lionel pulled Cletus in close and stroked his hair. ""Now, now, crying isn't necessary," he shushed gently, "I'm right here." 

Cletus continued sobbing against Lionel's neck. Lex had never known Lionel to suffer hysterics, even with Lex's mom. 

A chuckle rumbled in Lex's chest. Oh, how the might have fallen in love. And with Cletus! Lex's need to destroy his father lessened. Loving Cletus was a pretty big punishment on its own. 

After a particularly disgusting sniff from Cletus, Lionel aimed an angry glare over his shoulder at Lex. "If he is permanently injured-" 

"We have technology to re-attach your mate's hands at the gate," Jor-El spoke up. 

Horror drained the blood from Lionel's face. "Reattach his hands? My god, what have you done to him?" 

"He was punished for touching Lex, as is my right," Kal stated. Lex smirked smugly. 

Lionel's expression darkened, then turned to Jor-El. "You have the technology to help Lee?" 

Jor-El dipped his head and motioned for them to proceed down the hall. "Come. We shall care for him." 

Lionel curved an arm around Cletus and, with another glare at Kal that promised retribution, led him away. The glare might have been more effective if Kal cared and Lionel didn't have snot visible on the shoulder of his suit. 

"We'll meet you at the gate, Jor-El," Lex called after them in Kryptonian and tugged Kal in the direction of the stairs. 

Up in his room, Lex devoured an entire box of akeice, cleaned himself up, and unearthed a bra from his drag days to replace the missing linsga. It just fit his larger frame and gave him the support he needed for Kon. None of his other clothing would stretch over his butt or belly, however, and he ended up back in the Kryptonian shift dress. He looked like a pregnant bald woman in the mirror. 

Returning to the bedroom, he got a suitcase from the closet to carry his belongings, including a few more items he wanted to take to Krypton. He really should check in on Gabe and see how LexCorp was doing, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He wanted to go home. 

"Let me call the Sheriff and the local paper, and we can go," Lex told Kal, handing him the bag. He'd make a stop in his old collections room to grab all of his Warrior Angel action figures, comics, and playsets before they left. 

Kal put the bag aside and pushed Lex down onto the bed. "You must be punished for leaving without permission." 

"I was freaked out," Lex defended, even as Kal picked up a foot and smacked it. He yelped and yanked his foot back. "Ow! That really hurt!" 

A bright handprint bloomed on the top of his foot. Lex rubbed it gingerly. "I think I've learned my lesson with Lionel. I don't need to be punished more." 

Kal picked up his other foot and swatted it, too. Lex yelped again and pulled his other foot onto the bed. He glared at Kal. "Cut it out." 

"I feared you had been taken from me," Kal said, stern relief in his voice. 

Lex felt somewhat contrite. "I'm sorry I didn't leave a note. I'm glad you found me, anyway." He glanced questioningly at Kal. "How did you find me?" 

"Za was taken from account for gate to Earth. I remember your letters to your father and have Jor-El show me here." 

Automatic withdrawal. Lex should've remembered from his bank research, but he'd been a little panicked at the time. It turned out for the best, though. 

"Come." Kal offered a hand. "I desire to return to our quarters and touch you for woluo." 

Lex's body tingled and tightened in agreement. He took Kal's hand and stood. "Just let me make my calls and we'll go." 

* * *

After his anonymous tips to the paper and the Sheriff directing them to the east wing, Lex drove the LexCorp company car to the plant and returned it to the garage. Kal carried the suitcase and Lex held a heavy coat closed around him as they tromped through the fallow fields to the cave. 

Lionel swooped down upon them as soon as they stepped through the inner chamber door. Kal moved in front of Lex protectively. Lionel sniffed at Kal. "Call your guard dog off, Lex." 

"Why should I?" Lex said. "You've made it quite clear that I need the protection from you." 

"How long will it take to get it through your stubborn head that I am only doing what is best for you?" Lionel said. 

"I'm old enough to make that decision for myself, thanks," Lex said. "If I want to host a platoon of Kryptonian babies, that's my own choice." 

Lionel sighed dramatically. "I'm only worried for you." 

"I'm sure you'll have your hands full worrying about Cletus." 

"Punning is so plebian, Lex," Lionel said with disdain. "Besides which, Jor-El and Lara have done an admirable job repairing the damage your husband caused." 

Lex looked past Kal and Lionel towards the medical bay. Dirty-faced from crying and pouting in scowling in their direction, Cletus sat shirtless on the metal table. His right hand had been reattached, not looking like it had ever been ripped off. Jor-El and Lara worked diligently on his other hand. 

Whatever. Lex was going home. "Come on, Kal. The stench of Earth's inhabitants can't be good for Kon." 

Kal turned, wearing a puzzled frown. "Kon has not ability to smell until he drops." 

"I'm being facetious." Lex looped his hand in Kal's elbow and dragged him to the stone table in the center of the room. He'd given Kal the octagonal disk from his gating to Earth. "Take me home." 

Kal dipped his head, removed the disk from his sleeve, and put it in the slot on the table. He touched a combination of symbols and the door rumbled as the gate opened. 

Lex turned to his father, an acidic farewell on his tongue, only to see Lionel staring amazed at the gate. Lex narrowed his eyes. "I thought you said you'd been to Krypton, Dad." 

"I lied," Lionel said without remorse. He took a step closer to the gate. "Does this lead to a ship?" 

"It's a gate directly to the planet," Lex said, mind working rapidly. By now, the mansion would be crawling with reporters and law enforcement. Lionel would undoubtedly learn about them before he reached the mansion and detour to another location, set up an alibi, and shift the blame elsewhere. However, if he wasn't around to start the cover-up... 

Lex sunk his teeth into his lower lip to hide his evil smile. When he was in control of his facial features, he said casually, "Would you like to come to Krypton?" 

Lionel looked sharply at him. "What are you up to, Lex?" 

"You're the one who's so worried about me," Lex said with a shrug. "Why not make a visit to Krypton and see that I'm all right?" 

"Oh! Oh! Can I come, too?" Cletus called from the medical bay. 

"I don't see why not," Lex said, turning that direction. "You should have the opportunity to learn about your home planet and your race. A child from the House of El should not be ignorant of its glorious history. Don't you agree, Jor-El?" 

Jor-El inclined his head, releasing the repair instrument. It zipped up to join with the others above the table. "All children should know greatness of their forefathers." 

"It's settled, then," Lex said decisively. "Jor-El, you can put them up at the off-worlders' quarters and introduce your child to his heritage. I'm sure Lionel will be quite interested to learn about his mate's magnificent planet, as well." 

Lionel appeared as though he was sucking on a lemon. Lex smiled beatifically at him. "Trust me, Dad. You'll enjoy Krypton." 

"I will figure out what you're scheming, Lex, mark my words." Lionel looked over at Cletus. "Are you certain you would like to go? You'll be missing school and your chores." 

"I want to go." Cletus stuck out his lower lip, dipped his head, and peered at Lionel from beneath his fringe. "Please?" 

"Very well." Lionel gave in immediately, much to Lex's amusement. He was more whipped than Lex. "We shall forward a missive to your parents after we've arrived, informing them of your sabbatical." 

Cletus whooped, bounded off the table, and over to Lionel. He threw both firmly attached hands around Lionel's neck and kissed him soundly on the mouth. "Thank you!" 

"Clee-tus, come change clothing," Lara sang in her native tongue, holding up a jumpsuit. 

Lionel gave Cletus a push in Lara's direction. "I think she wants you to put some clothes on." 

"Okey-dokey." Cletus grinned and loped back over to the medical bay. 

"Jor-El, I'll leave them to you." Lex had to walk past Lionel to get to the gate. As he did, he lowered his voice and said, "By the way, Dad." 

"Hmm?" Lionel arched a brow inquisitively. 

"Be careful if you let Cletus fuck you," Lex said in oh-so-sincere tones. "There are no condoms on Krypton. Though, alien cock is worth the risk, eh?" He all but nudged and winked at his father as he smirked conspiratorially. "See you on Krypton, Dad." 

Lex gathered up the hem of his shift dress and coat and turned to Kal, beside him. "Ready to go home?" 

"As long as that is where you will be," Kal replied. 

Lex gave him a soft smile. "It's where I belong. With you." 

Kal touched Lex's cheek. "Refovo." 

"Forever," Lex echoed and pressed a kiss against Kal's palm. 

Then, he turned and stepped into the gate's blinding light. 

* * *

Lex adjusted the crossed linsgao supporting Rol and Teem. Two more weeks and Rol would drop, thankfully. He was quite a big baby compared to the eight prior siblings Lex had carried. Lex didn't want Rol to cause breast sag and make him look lopsided. 

Teem, in comparison, could hardly be felt latched on to Lex's right nipple. The newborn had warl-ep four days ago in the middle of a meeting with Lionel. Lionel hadn't batted an eye at Lex's sudden need to borrow the shower. 

Lex's plan of revenge against his father had gone off brilliantly. Because of the mutant experiments, Lionel Luthor's name had become mud and a warrant had been issued for his arrest on Earth. He'd have a hell of a climb to escape the mess Lex created if he ever went back. 

And then there were Lionel's breasts. Big, prominent breasts that looked huge on his slim frame. Lionel had taken the bait Lex had dangled about alien cock and had gotten knocked up by Cletus. Lex had laughed so hard when they first started developing, Kal had feared he had been struck by some human disease and had insisted on a medical examination. (Which, of course, led to sex and had gotten Lex knocked up again himself, but he didn't mind.) 

Lionel, who was completely insane in Lex's opinion, had been proud of Lex for his devious machinations. Then again, Lionel loved Cletus, so his mind was already warped. He had chosen to stay on Krypton because Cletus wanted to stay and, three babies later, they were still on the planet. Cletus had become an Enforcer and Lionel had schemed himself a position on the Science Council, saying off-worlders who lived on Krypton should have a voice on the Council and who better qualified than him with his human degrees in science fields? 

Lionel was good for something, at least, and that was getting the Science Council to authorize open trade with Earth. Lex had foregone the metal and solar panels and made LexCorp the sole provider of akeice to humans. A lot of work went into keeping secrecy as to the ingredients' origin; Earth was far from ready to accept aliens without hostility. They couldn't even accept gay people. 

Lex drew on a Kryptonian shift dress and adjusted the v-cut collar to hide the linsgao. Being overweight had become a boon for Lex, helping disguise his breasts and nursing children with loosely tailored human suits when visiting Earth. But since today he wasn't leaving Kandor, the soft mounds and deep valley of his cleavage was proudly put on display. 

Arms slid around him from behind and hands palmed the babies through the dress. Kal pressed fully against Lex's back and peppered kisses behind his ear. "Lehol." 

"Lehol, Kal." Lex tilted his head to give Kal more access. "Aren't you supposed to be leaving for work?" 

"I have time still to touch my mate and my children," Kal said, nibbling down the side of Lex's neck. 

"Mm." Lex raised his arm and cupped Kal's head. His fingers sunk into Kal's damp curls. "I'm going to the Academy to visit our other children. Kon-El is six years old today." 

"Kon grows fast." Kal hefted Rol. "Rol grows fast, also. He will drop soon." 

"Two weeks, I estimate," Lex said. He turned in Kal's arms and slid his hands around the back of Kal's neck. "I don't want to get pregnant again until after Teem drops, too." 

Kal lowered his head and brushed a kiss across Lex's lips. "Very well," he murmured, and deepened the kiss. 

Lex's eyelids fell shut and he opened his mouth to the oral assault. He'd taught Kal how French humans showed affection and Kal had taken tongue-kissing to a whole new level. Lex's knees went weak as he was passionately devoured with single-minded devotion and love. 

Lex got pregnant again that day, anyway. But he didn't mind. He understood why Kal couldn't keep his hands off Lex. 

After all, he had a fabulous rack. 

End 


End file.
